Ethical Storytelling

I got into international nonprofit work because of effective storytelling. I was moved by some really powerful documentaries and talks. But the longer, I stay in this work, the more I’m also concerned about ethical storytelling.

I’m glad problems like poverty porn and the white savior complex are being talked about more. At the same time, it can be easy to lose sight of why ethical storytelling matters.

It’s not to avoid criticism. It’s not to be the “good guys.” It’s not for the sport of calling others out.

It’s all about the humans on the other side of the screen who have entrusted us storytellers with something special.

I still have plenty to learn, but I made this video knowing the things I have learned are important, and the sooner other storytellers adopt more ethical practices, the better off we’ll all be.

Grieving Is Healing

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This morning, my half-Asian son and I got to watch the swearing in of a half-Asian Veep. So many feelings.

I think the platform of a politician is a strange one. We should hold our leaders accountable, but not in a spirit of awfulness that makes us lose our humanity in the process. We should be able to admire good qualities in a leader without giving into political idolatry, which is partly to blame for so many of our current problems.

All that to preface me saying something I truly like about Joe Biden. The man is proficient in grief.

In 2014, after a shooting and stabbing at my alma mater killed six, Biden offered the White House’s sympathies, sharing words I’ve heard him say a few times: “One day their memory will bring a smile before it brings tears.” Almost exactly a year later, Biden would lose his son to cancer.

I can’t imagine some of the losses Biden’s had to endure, just like I can’t imagine so many of the devastating posts I see nearly every day of friends losing parents, grandparents, or siblings.

Nothing heals that isn’t grieved.

I’ve used that phrase so many times this year because it’s so descriptive of the current stretch of my journey. I’m a natural optimist. I don’t like to dwell on feelings like sadness. And yet, I keep rediscovering the value of lament and grief. It thickens our skins while softening our hearts. It pulls us closer to each other. And it opens the door for healing.

We have so many things we need to heal from. A pandemic. A recession. Tribalism. Racial injustice. The tragedy of losing 400,000+ to COVID. The tragedy of losing too many friends and family members to conspiracies and warped visions of the world.

And I think that’s why some of my favorite parts of the inaugural ceremonies were the silent prayers, the prayers of confession, and the evening of remembrance that preceded the event.

I started this post as a happy one, and even though it turned into a mini-essay on grief, today was a great day. And I’m hopeful for days ahead.

MLK is not a Permission Slip

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Celebrate MLK. But do so in a way that doesn’t reinforce the systems and ideas that he fought against.

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Don’t just pick a feel-good quote from the Reverend and be on your way. Understand the context of the quote. Was it from a speech? A letter? A sermon? What happened in America to move him towards these words?

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Don’t just be satisfied with an image of King as a universally loved saint. Examine why he was one of the most hated men in the USA during the 1960’s. Unearth the claims and arguments people used against him, and compare them to the counterarguments that come up in modern day conversations about race. Notice anything?

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Joyful Fatherhood

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I remember his first three months. I always thought that non-stop sleepless nights would be one of the biggest challenges of parenthood. And it was a little rough, but it was also really sweet. Those 3:00 AM moments of holding him until sleep took back over were special.

And then it was over. He started sleeping through the night. And he grew to a point where we have different challenges now, and different moments of sweetness.

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Before Rhys was born, I asked a friend with college-aged kids what his favorite stage was. He said he couldn’t answer, they were all great. For whatever reason, overly-diplomatic answers tend to bug me, but that one makes sense, especially now.

One of the most helpful things for me to remember about fatherhood, and probably life in general, is that you go through all these stages. Each one brings things that are really, really hard, and things you absolutely love. But the thing to remember is that none of them lasts too long.

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The challenges of each particular season come to an end. That can be a comforting reminder during those really long and difficult days.

But you don’t want to rush the ending. There are also a lot of sweet moments that you’ll only have access to for that season.

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Biologos Feature

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A lot of people now know NIH Director Francis Collins as Fauci’s boss, but for a long time my family has directly benefited from his genetics research. He’s a co-founder of BioLogos- a platform dedicated to a love of faith and science, and I was beyond thrilled when I was asked to contribute a piece to their growing climate change focus.

🌿🌄🔬

Here’s a snippet:

“Scripture talks about how all of creation groans as a result of sin, injustice, and a broken relationship throughout all of creation. Redemption, then, is also meant to take place throughout all of creation. Fighting climate change is an essential way to participate in this process.

Unhealthy ecosystems mean that women have to walk longer to get clean water. Infertile farms mean that children—usually daughters—are taken out of school to work. Poor ecological health drives parents in Central America or Southeast Asia to seek other opportunities, often in informal labor, resulting in dangerous migrant journeys or a vulnerability to trafficking and exploitation. Ecology has also been a vehicle for systemic racism, with the most polluted ZIP codes housing majority Black and Hispanic populations.

The Sermon on the Mount promises good news to the poor, hungry, mourning, and the excluded. Visit a rural community in Ethiopia, Myanmar, or the Dominican Republic, and you’ll find lots of poverty, hunger, mourning, and exclusion. Much of it stems from our climate crises.”

This Too, Is Life

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It’s so easy for me to get impatient for some unspecified time in the future when things are better… easier. But it’s been really important for me to remember not to disengage from the current moment- it’s turmoil, grief, and even joy.

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I think that every day of this year so far, I’ve heard a friend share a devastating loss.

A grandparent who passed away.

A parent.

A friend who went missing.

Add that to the social and political state of crisis, the exhaustion of the pandemic, and the deprivation of so many things that bring us joy, and I think it’s safe to say we’re all pretty much in a season we can’t wait to put behind us.

I know we’re all looking forward to the point on the horizon when “all this will be over” and it’s frustrating to not even have a clear sense of when that will be.

I think it’s important to remember that this moment is also life. And so much of like actually happens in these moments we wish we could skip right past.

I’m trying to say this in a way that doesn’t exude toxic positivity. If this moment is especially brutal for you, it’s fine and actually healthy to have all those feelings.

But I also find myself needing the reminder that this too is life. I don’t want to spend my time so focused on some post-pandemic, less tumultuous future, that I look up and see that I’ve practically shut off for another year of my marriage, a year in my kid’s life, even my dog’s life, that I won’t get back.

Things are rough, but there’s still some joy I don’t want to miss out on. This is life right now.

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January 2021

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#1 Pine Valley

01 January 2021 // Pine Valley, California

Hello 2020.

The Lazaro Family in 2021:

🔰 Rhys’ favorite song is EASILY exile by Taylor Swift and Bon Iver. Nothing is as safe of a bet to calm a fussy mood as that tune. Proven against a comparison group of every other song.

🔰 Deanna and Philippe are concurrently reading the book Educated... which is the very first time we’ve successfully read a book at the same time in 10 years of friendship/dating/marriage.

🔰 We’ve both been on a journey throughout last year of redefining our relationship with work- doing things we are really passionate about is a gift, but it also gets really tempting to overassign your value to what you do. That journey continues, but I know we’re at a much healthier spot versus a year ago.⁣

🔰 Rhys loves going “out...” anywhere that’s out. And he’s figured out how to ask for it by handing us his shoes. It doesn’t matter if it’s late and ten minutes til bedtime. 🤔 Who did he get this from?

🔰 Deanna named two meals I made last week among the best I’ve ever made: sake glazed salmon and Christmas fillet mignon. Guess I’m on a hot streak! No wonder she got me a wok for Christmas.

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#2 Sandstone Climbing

02 January 2021 // Del Mar, California

Some goals for this year:

Don’t subscribe to a new podcast without unsubscribing to another. Give LinkedIn another shot. Show four artists some love via Patreon. Blow up my to-do list. Refinance the house. Expand Meatless Monday into Tuesday. Read from Jesmyn Ward & Octavia Butler. Pump your fist when you get to see Shang Chi and Raya and the Last Dragon.

Visit the Hoh Rainforest, Alaska, and whichever country outside the US we can get to the safest and soonest. Figure out how to redeem those travel vouchers from last year. Learn about moss. Learn about housing segregation. Learn Japanese cooking. Taste good mezcal. Learn how to make map animations. Get back to making videos- two a month, and make Rhys some toys.

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#3 San Dieguito Trails

03 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I did something kinda big and a bit unexpected to start the year. I blew up my to do list.

I keep a spreadsheet, with a bunch of well-organized task lists to keep me on track and making progress. I’ve used some variation of it for at least five years.

Now it’s gone.

It seems impulsive, and it’s kind of the opposite of what all these productivity gurus talk about around this time of the year. But, it also felt right.

Among the many things last year taught me were the value of rest, how to disconnect my value from my outputs, how to be less defined by my work, how to bask in the present moment within each day, and how quickly time escapes when you have your head down.

I’m hoping the freedom from the rigidity brings some of those lessons to life.

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#4 Civita Park

04 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I really love reading year-end lists. Of all sorts, whether that’s your Spotify Wrapped screenshots or Barack Obama’s favorite reads. So, I’m sharing a few of my own.

It was a much lighter year for me in terms of reading… mostly thanks to Rhys being pretty young for the first chunk of the year. I also didn’t get to as much fiction as I would’ve liked. But writers like Austin Channing Brown and Kiley Reid helped me be better mindful of the antiracist work to be done, and writers like Lori Gottlieb and Deray McKesson made me very grateful for life.

Each year, I typically include a list of most memorable meals, and this year it definitely reflects the kinda-funny, kinda-sad fact that I didn’t do much traveling or eating out. But it’s a very tough time to be in the restaurant world, so I decided against omitting it.

I made a music-listening goal to add more international, non-English music into my playlists, and I reaped the reward of that. Lido Pimienta (Colombia), Hamaki (Egypt), KOKOKO (DR Congo), and Tomás del Real (Chile) were some of my favorites. It was also a really appropriate year for melancholic indie songwriters, which might explain all the plays Soccer Mommy, Phoebe Bridgers, and Waxahatchee got.

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#5 Asian Market Run

05 January 2021 // San Diego, California

You know how a lot of people have a “word for the year” that they pick out at the start then live into? Yeah… that’s never worked out for me. I’ve found it much more helpful to find a “word for the year” when in retrospect, as a way to see where the last year has taken me.

My word for 2020 was VOICE.

I’ve always admired quiet leaders, but early in the year, I felt myself challenged by the idea that my call to leadership might look different. I’ve always loved organizing ideas into words, whether through speaking or writing. I started to see this as a gift. And if I didn’t use it for good, it would be wasted.

I started to try my hand at more ambitious writing. Lengthy scripts on climate change. Bolder video scripts. Then… when the year started to go off the rails… I really felt the urgency around using my voice in bolder ways than I was used to. To comfort those who were experiencing the communal pain and hardship more acutely.  To challenge those whose privilege was getting in the way of loving their more vulnerable neighbors. To rail against racism and to help us imagine better ways.

Learning how to be a good steward of your voice is a never ending process. But here’s some of what I learned.

💠 When you find your voice, it won’t be for everybody and that’s fine.

💠 It’s not about having a massive audience. It’s about being a good steward of the audience you do have.

💠 This isn’t black-and-white, but often, spending too much energy and time refuting bad ideas backfires by giving them more attention.

💠 If you have a tendency to associate wisdom with speaking less… don’t let that bias you towards thinking being silent is always the right thing to do.

💠 Using your voice isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about helping people find what they need… hope, resources, direction, a challenge, a different perspective, or something else.

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#6 Making Dashi

06 January 2021 // San Diego, California

Tuesday night, every post I came across seemed focused on Georgia’s runoff. The tone shifted from tense to optimistic to celebratory. And at the end, amidst all the Stacy Abrams praise and quotes from Rev. Warnock was one very different in tone from a Black friend in Oregon.

“Get ready for the backlash.”

I’ve learned that my Black friends have the clearest perception of our country’s reality. Twelve hours later I logged off a work meeting to scenes of the capitol being infiltrated by terrorist militias. 

To be honest, it’s hard to find the words for this one. I know I just posted about the importance of using your voice. When I do so, I try to find the words that people need to hear, and to make the invisible visible.

It’s hard to find words when all of this happened in such plain sight.

It’s hard to find words when none of this is new to the marginalized communities who’ve warned of this for forever. Or when the people who open the gates to terror, or the ones who benefit from it, cling to every bit of flawed reasoning that allows them to stay open. Or when the same seeds of misinformation that grows into this is the same garbage so many people I know pump into their eyes and ears on a daily basis.

Words matter. Using your voice matters, and using it to catalyze action is necessary. But if today that seems murky, step one is simply feeling it all. My favorite quote by Henri Nouwen reminds me of the importance of thick skin and a soft heart. “While we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. Let us mourn, and let us dance.”

A few simple reminders are still worth the time:

• Comparisons to political unrest in Latin/African/ME countries are rooted in racism and undermine the U.S.’ role in fostering those.

• Now is not the time to tone-police or gaslight BIPOC reactions. You can try again never.

• The work means drawing the line between what you see on screens and what you talk about at dinner tables, practice in the workplace, and allow into your lives.

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#7 Work From Home

07 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I think that every day of this year so far, I’ve heard a friend share a devastating loss.

A grandparent who passed away.

A parent.

A friend who went missing.

Add that to the social and political state of crisis, the exhaustion of the pandemic, and the deprivation of so many things that bring us joy, and I think it’s safe to say we’re all pretty much in a season we can’t wait to put behind us.

I know we’re all looking forward to the point on the horizon when “all this will be over” and it’s frustrating to not even have a clear sense of when that will be.

I think it’s important to remember that this moment is also life. And so much of like actually happens in these moments we wish we could skip right past.

I’m trying to say this in a way that doesn’t exude toxic positivity. If this moment is especially brutal for you, it’s fine and actually healthy to have all those feelings.

But I also find myself needing the reminder that this too is life. I don’t want to spend my time so focused on some post-pandemic, less tumultuous future, that I look up and see that I’ve practically shut off for another year of my marriage, a year in my kid’s life, even my dog’s life, that I won’t get back.

Things are rough, but there’s still some joy I don’t want to miss out on. This is life right now.

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#8 Japanese Cookbooks

08 January 2021 // San Diego, California

You can’t treat a disease properly if you don’t diagnose it.

You can’t heal what you won’t name.

I’ve spent so much of my life studying and visiting places that have dealt with civil wars, deeply divided societies, and post-conflict eras. Colombia. South Africa. Southeast Asia. One thing that stands out to me is how much effort reconciliation groups put towards getting victims to name what happened to them, and getting perpetrators to name their actions and what led to their behaviors.

Why such an effort towards simply recounting the past? Why isn’t the focus on putting it behind them, finding something new to unify around, or going back to how things were before the conflict?

Because there is no true moving forward without naming what happened.

And by going back to how things were, you’re simply taking on the preconditions of another conflict.

There is nothing to be gained from words crafted with the goal of ambiguity. With flowery language that seems to allude to some event both vague and drastic. With calls meant to police the emotional reactions to our moment of crisis instead of addressing the systems and norms and ideologies behind violence.

These lessons I’ve learned from the broader world will need to be taken back home.

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#9 Mission Hills

09 January 2021 // San Diego, California

Reconciliation without repentance doesn’t work. 

This theme has been so, so present in my personal life, and now it’s highly visible in the social and political sphere.

Repentance isn’t just feeling bad about what happened. It’s validity is marked by a thorough reorientation of your life, perspective, and decisions that led to the problem in the first place.

It’s not enough to feel bad or ashamed of a wrong that happened. Shame isn’t even helpful, especially if it simply drives you to look away from the events that occurred in the first place.

If you want unity, healing, and all these things that have simply turned into buzzwords… accountability matters. Without it, the cycle continues.

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#10 Asian Market Snack Break

10 January 2021 // San Diego, California

It’s so easy for me to get impatient for some unspecified time in the future when things are better… easier. But it’s been really important for me to remember not to disengage from the current moment- it’s turmoil, grief, and even joy.

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#11 Smoochy Rooch Kombucher

11 January 2021 // San Diego, California

A lot of people now know NIH Director Francis Collins as Fauci’s boss, but for a long time my family has directly benefited from his genetics research. He’s a co-founder of BioLogos- a platform dedicated to a love of faith and science, and I was beyond thrilled when I was asked to contribute a piece to their growing climate change focus.

🌿🌄🔬

Here’s a snippet:

“Scripture talks about how all of creation groans as a result of sin, injustice, and a broken relationship throughout all of creation. Redemption, then, is also meant to take place throughout all of creation. Fighting climate change is an essential way to participate in this process.

Unhealthy ecosystems mean that women have to walk longer to get clean water. Infertile farms mean that children—usually daughters—are taken out of school to work. Poor ecological health drives parents in Central America or Southeast Asia to seek other opportunities, often in informal labor, resulting in dangerous migrant journeys or a vulnerability to trafficking and exploitation. Ecology has also been a vehicle for systemic racism, with the most polluted ZIP codes housing majority Black and Hispanic populations.

The Sermon on the Mount promises good news to the poor, hungry, mourning, and the excluded. Visit a rural community in Ethiopia, Myanmar, or the Dominican Republic, and you’ll find lots of poverty, hunger, mourning, and exclusion. Much of it stems from our climate crises.”

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#12 San Diego Scene

12 January 2021 // San Diego, California

Even though this month has been a really bad one in terms of pandemic fatigue and hearing so many friends share their devastating losses, it also does feel like I can start thinking more about how things will change as the world reopens and re-emerges.

I have so many thoughts around that.

I am definitely not the same person I was at the start of this moment. I think of how when we all into lockdown I had this four month old. Then a month into it, I celebrated my 30th birthday.

Becoming a dad, starting my 30’s, and seeing the world completely disrupted all in the same window of time will always kind of be a bookmark in my life. There’s a distinct before and after.

There’s so much I don’t know about how certain details in my life will look, from work to childcare to our day to day living, and that’s okay. We have our needs met, and I’m more okay than ever with holding plans loosely.

But I think dreaming is a healthy thing and I’m finding it easier. And I know I’ll be so much more appreciative for adventures big and small moving forward.

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13 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I know time with people and around people is a valuable thing. A frustration of mine from before with American culture has been how little time people make for each other. It’s easy to see someone every day in a professional setting without ever getting the time to know them outside that setting. It’s easier to express interest in meeting up rather than to make room for it.

So I hope to do this differently. I want to make time for others. Showing up to different social events and more one on one coffees or beers. I might want to make sure I do one thing a week that is oriented around connecting and meeting new people. I know it’s tricky with a kid, but my wife and I both recognize this is a need, so we’ll get creative.

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14 January 2021 // San Diego, California

Recently I saw something one of my favorite illustrators posted.

She’s an extremely successful illustrator, especially known for making illustrations based around lettering and food. She has a massive social media, she’s a in demand interview, by all accounts she’s made it.

I saw her share about recently turning thirty and acknowledging that her lifelong dream was always to become a chef. And while in many ways she’s already been extremely successful, in an arena right next door to being a chef, she still recognized that there was a stone left unturned.

And on her 30th birthday she announced that she would be pulling back from illustrating- just a bit- to focus on culinary school. That struck a chord with me.

Life is short. It’s long enough to do a lot, but it also moves fast. And it’s too sacred to not go after something you really want to do.

Sometimes I think we get too wrapped up in the idea of success- like it’s only worth doing things if they’re clearly tied to success, which is usually defined financially. Or that those are the things worth prioritizing.

I know survival plays a role in all this. But one of the things this year has made me more aware of has been how important it is how fragile life is. And I want to make sure that the moments that make up my life are largely ones I can treasure and savor, and to me, that means doing more things I simply enjoy for the sake of the process, and not just because of the result they might lead to.

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#15 Rice Miguela

15 January 2021 // San Diego, California

Rhys is a climber. He’s always doing daredevil stunts and needs a vigilant set of eyes. His energy level demands much more than what being quarantined in a small two-bedroom condo can provide. 

I remember his first three months. I always thought that non-stop sleepless nights would be one of the biggest challenges of parenthood.  And it was a little rough, but it was also really sweet. Those 3:00 AM moments of holding him until sleep took back over were special.

And then it was over. He started sleeping through the night. And he grew to a point where we have different challenges now, and different moments of sweetness.

Before Rhys was born, I asked a friend with college-aged kids what his favorite stage was. He said he couldn’t answer, they were all great. For whatever reason, overly-diplomatic answers tend to bug me, but that one makes sense, especially now.

One of the most helpful things for me to remember about fatherhood, and probably life in general, is that you go through all these stages. Each one brings things that are really, really hard, and things you absolutely love. But the thing to remember is that none of them lasts too long.The challenges of each particular season come to an end. That can be a comforting reminder during those really long and difficult days.

But you don’t want to rush the ending. There are also a lot of sweet moments that you’ll only have access to for that season.

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#16 Park My Ride

16 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I always used to joke that my dream job would be to host a food show on the Travel Channel, or a travel show on the Food Network.

This interest goes beyond food; it’s just a convenient vehicle.

What I really love is introducing other people to different parts of the world, the things that happen there- from the unthinkable to the indescribable- so people can feel a sense of wonder around the good things and a sense of urgency against the bad.

And now I’m realizing that this dream, or something like it, is a lot more accessible than I’ve been giving it credit.

I have so many of the tools I need to do this. I have a camera. I have the gear. I have a deep curiosity about the foods of the world. I can’t travel yet, because of the pandemic, but we’re getting there.

I have the means of distribution through social media and YouTube, and while I’m not anticipating being a mega-influencer (nor do I really want that), it makes it way more fun than just making videos for absolutely nobody. And I have some technical skill, though I plan to get better just by doing it over and over.

What’s funny is my job is already adjacent to my dream job! I already have a job that has me creating content and video related to ecology and international issues.

So, I guess I just plan to do this more intentionally. I plan to make more videos that are like, half way in between a vlog and a documentary. More info-rich than the former, more personal than the latter.

I already wrote up this huge and constantly growing list of ideas I want to turn into videos someday, and when I can do so again, I plan to mesh these creative projects with my travel.

But I’m not waiting until then, I’m already getting started by making a couple videos each month to build the habit and to take on the challenge of doing what I can remotely.

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#17 Paint and Potted Plants

17 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I don’t know anyone who would use the word fun to describe the past year. These have been some really hard times.

The pandemic, being trapped at home, the economic uncertainty, all that is only a fraction of the challenge.

For me, the harder thing to see is how these challenges have brought out the worst in people. Seeing totally normal people I know get swept up by conspiracy theories like a rip current, seeing tribalism turn people violent, seeing people refuse to do the bare minimum to keep others safe and instead insisting that they’re the ones being persecuted… really believing that… seeing no accountability for those who’ve stoked these fires…

It’s easy to wonder… are we really better than this?

If I base my answer off what I’ve seen on the news and on social media the past few months, my answer would have to be no.

But

If I base it on what I’ve seen in the world, in person, in my travels… the answer is a resounding yes!

The family in Morocco that invited me to join them for a dinner to break the Ramadan fast when I got lost hiking…

The mom in Eswatini who realized the trip I was trying to make to the mountains was super long and let me stay overnight…

The refugee parents and grandparents in Thailand who deeply love their kids…

The resilient communities of Haiti...

Yeah, so much needs to change and it’s hard to figure out exactly where to begin.

But I love the concept of doing what you love to end what you hate, and to me, that’s opening eyes to the wonder of life and the planet and people across cultures, reminding us that we’re connected, that this is beautiful, and it’s worth it to build bridges between people.

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#18 The Cozy Cabin

18 January 2021 // Crestline, California

MLK Day is not a permission slip to feel better about racism.

Every Martin Luther King Day, you can expect a feed full of his quotes. Usually they’re quotes like: “Hate is too great a burden to bear,” and not these: “Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.”

The way we remember Martin Luther King matters.

Like Bernice King points out, “when you tweet about my father’s birthday & on #MLKDay, remember that he was resolute about eradicating racism, poverty & militarism & believed that the church should lead in that work.”

Don’t pick and choose MLK’s words to curate your preferred version of his legacy.

“The radical nature of his message seems to have been watered down into what people think he was—a gentle leader who advocated a non-violent approach to fighting for equality—instead of what he actually was—a passionate disrupter who constantly pushed boundaries and pulled no punches when calling out injustices of all kinds. Many Americans today would undoubtedly call him a "race-baiter" at best, and an "extremist thug" at worst.”

–Annie Reneau

A whitewashed version of MLK’s legacy will make you overlook ways the fight against racism continues in the present.

Don’t let MLK’s present-day adoration trick you into thinking that he was always seen this way. Do you really think MLK would be as widely approved of if he were alive now? Do you think you’d be as comfortable proudly quoting him?

Learn from the ways people tried to discredit MLK in the past.

• Trying to dismiss his message by linking him to communism

• Trying to dismiss his protests and marches as riots and looting

It’s really not hard to imagine how people who use these arguments to today’s movements would’ve likely sounded in the 1960’s.

Consider

✊🏾Skipping the feel-good quote in favor of one that genuinely challenges you. Go with one that so clearly applies to a community you speak to.

✊🏾Sincerely reflecting on the quote and engaging the implications it has on your world. Don’t just post and ghost.

✊🏾Looking to see who has picked up the baton and is continuing the work. See how you can support their present efforts.

✊🏾Using the day as an opportunity to do a self-evaluation of your own anti-racism work.

“We who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured."

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#19 Strawberry Peak

19 January 2021 // Lake Arrowhead, California

Joy feels most accessible. Along with the hope that we can get unstuck from the past four years.

At the same time, I can’t quite echo the sentiment “We made it! We survived!” when not ALL of us can say the same. Not the two who were killed on a Portland metro shortly after the last inauguration. Not Heather Heyer. Not the parents who still don’t know where their kids are. We lost 400,000 to COVID. We lost too many friends and family members to the programming of conspiracy theorists.

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#20 Rim of the World Way

20 January 2021 // Rimforest, California

This morning, my half-Asian son and I got to watch the swearing in of a half-Asian Veep. So many feelings.

I think the platform of a politician is a strange one. We should hold our leaders accountable, but not in a spirit of awfulness that makes us lose our humanity in the process. We should be able to admire good qualities in a leader without giving into political idolatry, which is partly to blame for so many of our current problems.

All that to preface me saying something I truly like about Joe Biden. The man is proficient in grief.

In 2014, after a shooting and stabbing at my alma mater killed six, Biden offered the White House’s sympathies, sharing words I’ve heard him say a few times: “One day their memory will bring a smile before it brings tears.” Almost exactly a year later, Biden would lose his son to cancer.

I can’t imagine some of the losses Biden’s had to endure, just like I can’t imagine so many of the devastating posts I see nearly every day of friends losing parents, grandparents, or siblings.

Nothing heals that isn’t grieved.

I’ve used that phrase so many times this year because it’s so descriptive of the current stretch of my journey. I’m a natural optimist. I don’t like to dwell on feelings like sadness. And yet, I keep rediscovering the value of lament and grief. It thickens our skins while softening our hearts. It pulls us closer to each other. And it opens the door for healing.

We have so many things we need to heal from. A pandemic. A recession. Tribalism. Racial injustice. The tragedy of losing 400,000+ to COVID. The tragedy of losing too many friends and family members to conspiracies and warped visions of the world.

And I think that’s why some of my favorite parts of the inaugural ceremonies were the silent prayers, the prayers of confession, and the evening of remembrance that preceded the event.

I started this post as a happy one, and even though it turned into a mini-essay on grief, today was a great day. And I’m hopeful for days ahead.

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#21 The Karn House

21 January 2021 // Crestline, California

In so many ways the past year has helped me see clearly things that were broken.

Of course the pandemic revealed so many ways our systems were failing the most vulnerable people. The racial reckoning started to reveal how much more work needs to be done. Our political turbulence shows us the consequences of misinformation and not expecting better from the leaders we choose.

In my own personal life, this year helped me see some pretty concerning issues in certain relationships and dynamics. I saw areas of unhealth in work in family.

As we move to a new chapter, as we regain our abilities to gather and to go places, I think we’ve got our work cut out for us. The next chapter needs to include a lot of action to fix what isn’t working.

No doubt, this will be a long process.

I think the important thing to remember is that nobody does this all singlehandedly. You aren’t tasked with saving the world as much as you are with leaving your world better than you found it. And at the same time, enlarging your world. Making it more inclusive of people less like yourself.

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#22 Grocery Lineup

22 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I got into international nonprofit work because of effective storytelling. I was moved by some really powerful documentaries and talks. But the longer, I stay in this work, the more I’m also concerned about ethical storytelling.

I’m glad problems like poverty porn and the white savior complex are being talked about more. At the same time, it can be easy to lose sight of why ethical storytelling matters.

It’s not to avoid criticism. It’s not to be the “good guys.” It’s not for the sport of calling others out.

It’s all about the humans on the other side of the screen who have entrusted us storytellers with something special.

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#23 Windowbird

23 January 2021 // San Diego, California

When it comes to making videos, I’m just going for it. Of course I hope people watch and the work finds its audience and all that, because that opens doors. But if it takes a while to grow or if that audience never gets as big as I hope, that’s okay.

And that’s because one of my big interests is trying to be better at enjoying the process. Making the edits. The cuts. The scripts. Getting the shots and unearthing the stories in the first place.

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#24 Native Plant Demo Lot

24 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I’m reading through Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste right now, and the girl at the bookstore was right when she said it would be an upsetting read. There is so much to be upset about how so many societies have been built on the subjugation of a marginalized group, and this is so deeply entrenched in the one I live in.

Not only that, but learning about how American racism was the inspiration for so many practices of Nazi Germany- the regime that stands as my lifetime’s benchmark for human attrocity- is especially disheartening. That and the fact that the biggest threat to a racialized caste system is the success of a lower caste. It’s a tough one to eradicate.

I’m still barely halfway through, and so there’s more to learn and more to see, but this is one of those moments where the work appears both unending and urgent.

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#25 Teralta Park

25 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I’ve benefited a lot from Seth Godin’s insights, especially when it comes to culture, change, and creativity. So I decided to go on a mini-rally of reading a trio of his books. I appreciate how a lot of his ideas around influencing culture and building a movement can apply just as readily to activism as it does to business as it does to art.

Of these three, The Practice probably stood out to me most. I loved one of the questions it made me think about: “If we failed, would it be worth the journey?”

One of the key ideas there is that our industrial world is literally engineered towards outputs and productivity. But that orientation is easily soul-numbing, and leads us towards making choices that are bad for our souls, communities, and planet in the long term. Most of this book is about meaningfully engaging the process, not listening to the voices that make you want to hold back your big ideas, and doing the work.

That effectively built off of two key ideas found in some of Seth’s earlier books:

Culture is the declaration that “people like us do things like this.” Creating change revolves around telling stories that resonate with the smallest viable number of people your message resonates with in order to make your effort worth it. (This Is Marketing)

Leaders create movements by creating a culture and creating communication around a shared goal. (Tribes)

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#26 ♥ Kirst

26 January 2021 // San Diego, California

On the morning of January 26, our Plant With Purpose family was devastated by the loss of our beloved friend and colleague Kirstie Hibbard in a tragic accident.

Kirstie lived a beautiful life, cultivating a strong faith, a vibrant community, and a profound sense of appreciation for God’s creation- especially the ocean. Kirstie often said that what brought her the most joy was being around other people. She loved and was loved by so many, including her parents, Doug and Kathie, and her sister Katie. She was a constant source of joy and encouragement for the entire Plant With Purpose family.

She began her time at Plant With Purpose as an intern, while attending Point Loma Nazarene University. She then joined the team full-time as our outreach coordinator before being promoted to marketing and events assistant. She had just begun her venture as a regional representative for Southern California, ready to cultivate our community through what she did best: helping people feel loved and valued. Kirstie coordinated volunteers, supervised interns, organized galas and events, connected with donors, orchestrated global prayer sessions, and did many other things all with great love. Her journeys with Plant With Purpose took her to Mexico and the Dominican Republic numerous times.

Before and beyond all of her titles and accomplishments, Kirstie was a beloved friend. Every member of the Plant With Purpose team is in some way better because of her presence.

Our team greatly appreciates your prayers as we experience this profound loss, and we ask that you lift up her family and friends. So many people who have engaged with Plant With Purpose over the past several years have had the blessing of getting to interact with Kirstie, and we share that grief as well. The impact of her beautiful life will continue far into the future. 

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#27 rOADRUNNER pARK

27 January 2021 // San Diego, California

I’m struck by something Corbyn said about Kirstie on Tuesday when we all got the news.

“She made the most generous assumptions about everybody.”

That’s true.

And also, that’s rare.

In a world where we sometimes have to prepare for the worst in other people, we lose our ability to believe the best. I can’t fault anyone for guardedness, but also, deliberately choosing to live differently can be a subversive act.

I think that the idea of God being all-loving goes completely Hand in hand with the idea of God being all-knowing. Understanding the pain, the unique purpose, and the incredible potential buried in every single person would make them hard not to love.

In this way, our friend helped demonstrate to us how God sees us.

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#28 jESUS mOSAIC

28 January 2021 // San Diego, California

What happens when you see others

With generous eyes?

In awe of other people

Aware that they’re life’s real prize?

We can celebrate the difference

That somebody makes

Or make someone feel better

About human mistakes

But won’t folks take advantage

When you see them this way?

You’d be mistaken if you think

It’s naïveté 

Choosing to see the best version 

Of each person you meet

Helps that person grow

It’s like planting a seed

That you water with friendship

As you shine your light

And as people grow

They’ll prove you right

You’ve made the world

More kind, caring, and wise,

Because you saw others

With generous eyes

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#29 bALBOA Arches

29 January 2021 // San Diego, California

Today I’m reminded that there are so many more ways to make an impact than what I’m used to hearing about.

Impact isn’t always about quantity. It’s easy to be inspired by those who have changed the lives of thousands. Millions. But those who have had a profound impact on six or seven people will have had just as important of an impact.

Impact isn’t always about solving dramatically urgent problems. Simply shining light on somebody’s day does a lot more heavy lifting than we’d ever realize.

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#30 Dog BeACH bEM

30 January 2021 // San Diego, California

Gotta get that childcare bread.

K, I’ve never heard anyone string together that phrase exactly, but it’s the one I’m feeling tonight.

Daycare is expensive! And I just learned that an affordable option we were hoping to lean into when the pandemic is over won’t be available until at least October.

I’m not sure exactly where that leaves us. Daycare alone is expensive, not to mention that it doesn’t include the cost of somebody for a simple date night, or account for the fact that we’re on the cusp of outgrowing our condo.

There’s a part of me that believes it’ll work out somehow, because, it always has.

There’s a part of me that feels daunted by the prospect of continuing this weird work and parenting multitask juggle for another year.

There’s a part of me that can’t believe how much money all these pretty basic things cost.

There’s a part of me wanting to try some sort of creative solution to boosting up our income- or even figuring out how to do a quick sprint towards the $30k that would allow us to rent out some investment property.

We’ll figure it out somehow. We can do hard things. Especially for Rhys.

One day, I just might write a book about the relationship between urgency and patience, but for now I’m thick in the middle of learning about how those two things go hand in hand.

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#31 Ocean Healing

31 January 2021 // San Diego, California

It’s for sure one of my favorite topics to talk about with other changemakers. 

I usually think of this tension as one at the heart of making a meaningful impact on the world. The problems we wish to solve are urgent, but the real lasting solutions don’t take effect overnight, thus the need for patience.

But I’m starting to see how this also really applies to personal development too. You don’t need to rush to get all the good things in your life like they’re going to escape. Like John Steinbeck said, nothing good gets away. We don’t need the scarcity mindset.

But at the same time, our time isn’t infinite. And it certainly is precious. You wanna be a good steward of that gift.

So how can you tell when you’re taking your time and being patient versus simply wasting that time and being a poor steward when you could be doing something different?

I’m trying to figure that out. But here are some questions that are helpful:

Whose life do you make lighter, brighter, or deeper by showing up to your daily life?

Can you keep doing it? For how long?

Would your be happy with your past week as a representative sample of your life?

Is there somebody who urgently needs your that you currently can’t tend to? What’s the barrier? Is it worth the cost of crossing that barrier?



Coup

Tuesday night, every post I came across seemed focused on Georgia’s runoff. The tone shifted from tense to optimistic to celebratory. And at the end, amidst all the Stacey Abrams praise and quotes from Rev. Warnock was one very different in tone from a Black friend in Oregon.

“Get ready for the backlash.”

I’ve learned that my Black friends have the clearest perception of our country’s reality. Twelve hours later I logged off a work meeting to scenes of the capitol being infiltrated by terrorist militias.

To be honest, it’s hard to find the words for this one. I know I just posted about the importance of using your voice. When I do so, I try to find the words that people need to hear, and to make the invisible visible.

It’s hard to find words when all of this happened in such plain sight.

It’s hard to find words when none of this is new to the marginalized communities who’ve warned of this for forever. Or when the people who open the gates to terror, or the ones who benefit from it, cling to every bit of flawed reasoning that allows them to stay open.

Words matter. Using your voice matters, and using it to catalyze action is necessary. But if today that seems murky, step one is simply feeling it all. My favorite quote by Henri Nouwen reminds me of the importance of thick skin and a soft heart. “While we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. Let us mourn, and let us dance.”

A few simple reminders are still worth the time:

• Saying you expect this kind of political unrest in Latin/African/ME countries but not here is rooted in racism and undermine the U.S.’ role in fostering those.
• Now is not the time to tone-police or gaslight BIPOC reactions. You can try again never.
• The work means drawing the line between what you see on screens and what you talk about at dinner tables, practice in the workplace, and allow into your lives.

VOICE

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You know how a lot of people have a “word for the year” that they pick out at the start then live into? Yeah… that’s never worked out for me. I’ve found it much more helpful to find a “word for the year” when in retrospect, as a way to see where the last year has taken me.

My word for 2020 was VOICE.

🗳🎤📝

I’ve always admired quiet leaders, but early in the year, I felt myself challenged by the idea that my call to leadership might look different. I’ve always loved organizing ideas into words, whether through speaking or writing. I started to see this as a gift. And if I didn’t use it for good, it would be wasted.

I started to try my hand at more ambitious writing. Lengthy scripts on climate change. Bolder video scripts. Then… when the year started to go off the rails… I really felt the urgency around using my voice in bolder ways than I was used to. To comfort those who were experiencing the communal pain and hardship more acutely. To challenge those whose privilege was getting in the way of loving their more vulnerable neighbors. To rail against racism and injustice and to help us imagine better ways.

Learning how to be a good steward of your voice is a never ending process. But here’s some of what I learned.

💠 When you find your voice, it won’t be for everybody and that’s fine.

💠 It’s not about having a massive audience. It’s about being a good steward of the audience you do have.

💠 This isn’t black-and-white, but often, spending too much energy and time refuting bad ideas backfires by giving them more attention.

💠 If you have a tendency to associate wisdom with speaking less… don’t let that bias you towards thinking being silent is always the right thing to do.

💠 Using your voice isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about helping people find what they need… hope, resources, direction, a challenge, a different perspective, or something else.

2020: The Good Stuff

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I really love reading year-end lists. Of all sorts, whether that’s your Spotify Wrapped screenshots or Barack Obama’s favorite reads. So, I’m sharing a few of my own.

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It was a much lighter year for me in terms of reading… mostly thanks to Rhys being pretty young for the first chunk of the year. I also didn’t get to as much fiction as I would’ve liked. But writers like Austin Channing Brown and Kiley Reid helped me be better mindful of the antiracist work to be done, and writers like Lori Gottlieb and Deray McKesson made me very grateful for life.

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Each year, I typically include a list of most memorable meals, and this year it definitely reflects the kinda-funny, kinda-sad fact that I didn’t do much traveling or eating out. But it’s a very tough time to be in the restaurant world, so I decided against omitting it.

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I made a music-listening goal to add more international, non-English music into my playlists, and I reaped the reward of that. Lido Pimienta (Colombia), Hamaki (Egypt), KOKOKO (DR Congo), and Tomás del Real (Chile) were some of my favorites. It was also a really appropriate year for melancholic indie songwriters, which might explain all the plays Soccer Mommy, Phoebe Bridgers, and Waxahatchee got from me.

The Lazaros in 2021

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The Lazaro Family in 2021:

🔰 Rhys’ favorite song is EASILY exile by Taylor Swift and Bon Iver. Nothing is as safe of a bet to calm a fussy mood as that tune. Proven against a comparison group of every other song.

🔰 Deanna and Philippe are concurrently reading the book Educated... which is the very first time we’ve successfully read a book at the same time in 10 years of friendship/dating/marriage.

🔰 We’ve both been on a journey throughout last year of redefining our relationship with work- doing things we are really passionate about is a gift, but it also gets really tempting to overassign your value to what you do. That journey continues, but I know we’re at a much healthier spot versus a year ago.

🔰 Rhys loves going “out...” anywhere that’s out. And he’s figured out how to ask for it by handing us his shoes. It doesn’t matter if it’s late and ten minutes til bedtime. 🤔 Who did he get this from?

🔰 Deanna named two meals I made last week among the best I’ve ever made: sake glazed salmon and Christmas fillet mignon. Guess I’m on a hot streak! No wonder she got me a wok for Christmas.

Soul

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don’t cry very often, but a disproportionate amount of times I tear up are at animated movies. Some of them just play to the feels. Here’s my reaction to Soul.

First of all- I loved it. And I’m not surprised by that at all. Pete Docter and the Pixar crew taking on existential questions about life’s purpose featuring a bunch of jazz? Yes please!

My main takeaway from watching this was that a lot of us spend our days waiting for our “big break,” whatever that means for us- and it’s tempting to think that this is when our lives will really get good. Really, life is made up of ordinary but still sacred moments. Having a passion is a good thing, but it’s not really our purpose.

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My favorite was the barbershop scene, featuring someone whose dreams didn’t work out but who still found a way to love his life. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend who took a big risk to launch a music career. “I’ve had to ask myself if I’m willing to accept what happens if this dream doesn’t come true,” she told me.

Sometimes I get tempted to keep holding back until I get a “big break” which is kinda silly, given that I’ve already had a few of my wildest hopes come true. But I’ve been on this journey for a few years of trying to focus less on results and to love the process more. This year was a great teacher.

Did you see Soul yet? What did you gain from it?

Christmas 2020

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Merry Christmas from this wild, tree loving, adventure hungry crew.

🌲🌲🌲

It’s just the three of us this year, plus Beignet of course. As much as I love full houses packed with loved ones, and adventures as far off as I can think of, it feels really, really right to embrace the fact that today is a simple, intimate one for this team. I hope today can be whatever your soul needs it to be.

Now to spend the rest of the day obsessing over my new Japanese cookbook and skillet, saving Rhys from a few head bumps, grooving to the Jingle Jangle soundtrack, and finally getting to watch Soul.

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Trikafta

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When I was recapping the best things that happened to me in 2020, I left out the biggest one because… this story takes a little more space to tell.

In early 2016, Deanna got sick. Like, really sick. Her lung function dropped to 22% and we had to spend a week in the hospital. It was only our eighth month of being married, and it was scary. By later that year, she had recovered fairly well. She even ran a half-marathon with me a few months after being discharged.

Then in early 2018, she got a pretty bad lung infection that needed IV antibiotics. She recovered, then had another in October. In 2019, she had two infections that needed IV antibiotics while pregnant with Rhys.

This pattern was really concerning, and I tried to not worry about what would happen if it continued over the course of the next few years, but your mind goes there, especially when starting a family.

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Then, on the very same week that Rhys was born, this new drug came out. It was the first of its kind, using genetic therapies to treat the underlying causes behind all the infections. The trial results and early testimonies from people who used it almost seemed too good to be true, so I tried not to get my hopes up. And we held off on taking it for a bit, not knowing if it was breastfeeding safe.

Then a pandemic broke out in the spring and being vulnerable to lung issues, we wanted every defense we could get. Deanna started taking it in April, and the effects have been a real game changer. I no longer hear the regular, everyday coughing I’d gotten used to over the past few years.

I can breathe more easily about my family’s future, and Deanna can, very literally, breathe more easily.

The two biggest prayers of my life were answered in October 2019.

I know everyone is doing their own version of grieving and healing after this year, and so many terrible things happened. But it was also a year where I got to see a health breakthrough, and my kid grow up. Here’s hoping our story has something in it that helps you with your own.

Figuring It Out

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

In a more ordinary version of late December, I spend a lot of time looking forward to the next year. Thinking about all the trips and adventures to look forward to, setting parameters around some ambitious project, and making a bunch of lists. But right now, we’re looking at a whole lot of unknowns.

I don’t totally know what my work and creative projects will look like. Childcare is going to be a huge question mark, and so are some financial things. I don’t know what trips are coming and or when.

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One of the many, many things this year has taught me has been the sheer value of taking things on one day at a time, and simply doing things the way you need to for that particular day. Our over-industrialized world tends to forget the value of mystery, but, what good is a journey when every single move is scripted and there are no surprises?

The best way to take on an adventure is with just enough strategy to make things happen and just enough spontaneity to improvise when the surprises come.

Work on the Ecosystem

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How many times have you looked around at people’s thoughts, behaviors, or words lately and thought, “wow, things need to change.”

“We have a lot of work to do.”

I studied both communication and international studies. Two of my big interests continue to be the way people send messages to each other and the way the world changes. I’m especially interested in the crossroads of those two things: how do people communicate in a way that influences how the world works?

I think lately, it’s been easy to look at how various messages get used to incite division and create mistrust. But, I’ve seen enough moments of change around the world to know it can be used for good.

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Here’s the idea I’ve been working with lately: you don’t need to convert every single person from a wrong idea to the right idea. You literally can’t. Trying to do this and zooming in on every individual debate opportunity is a recipe for burnout and discouragement. Instead, you can work on creating an ecosystem where better ideas thrive. To play with that metaphor, it’s better to heal the soil than to prevent every single plant from dying.

Successful movements like suffrage, abolition, and LGBT rights didn’t rely on a strategy of getting every single person to listen, understand, and accept their message. They instead shifted the ecosystem, making it a little easier for people to come on board year-after-year.

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🌐 It’s why I think creativity is a key ingredient to changemaking.
🌐 It’s why I spend a lot less energy on unproductive debates and focus more on amplifying worthy messages.
🌐 It’s why I increasingly see clarity as kindness.
🌐 It’s why I think beauty- something that gives us no choice but to collectively stop and marvel- can create change.
🌐 It’s why I think creating from a place of empathy and knowing your audience matters.

Don't Bail on Compassion

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There’s a light at the end of the tunnel of this whole pandemic mess.

Deanna might be eligible to get the vaccine in a matter of weeks, being in a pretty high priority group. We’ve talked about what life might look like after this very weird, very challenging stretch for us.

I’ve found it easier to start dreaming. Travel. Possibilities. And while my travel list always runs long, it feels a bit more specific lately. I’m really excited to get back to my passion for finding places, people, and things that capture my wonder and telling stories about them. And I suspect it’ll be even sweeter with this massive experience to always remind me not to take the process for granted.

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That said… we’re not done yet.

Numbers-wise, cases are worse than they’ve ever been. In the US, in particular. I’ve read too many posts from friends working at hospitals expressing exhaustion and serious concern over the fact that people’s behavior on their online posts doesn’t seem to match the atmosphere within hospitals.

I’ve never been one to promote fear, but I do go all in on compassion. A stretch of intensified lockdowns and newer restrictions is nobody’s preference for how to end a year that’s been a rough one all around, but I do find a renewed sense of determination when I remember who my actions impact.

Wear the mask. Shop small for gifts. Avoid going out as much as you can. Call up people you want to reconnect with. Dream big. Replace the purchases you’d make at big box stores or off Amazon with indie businesses, the meals from chain restaurants with mom-and-pops. If you can, donate to a local food bank or org fighting eviction.

Just don’t bail on compassion.

Joshua de la Cruz

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Some of you might not be keeping up with the latest on Blue’s Clues so let me fill you in on what’s going on in Blue’s House:

🏡 Joshua de la Cruz and his Lola have taken over and it is now a house of bibingka.

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I saw this thought tweeted by EJ Ramos David right around the same time Disney released their Christmas advert showing a Filipino family. To be honest, representation is something I learned not to even expect. But when you actually see it, it’s everything.

So... enjoy your Blues Clues fan art everybody. 🇵🇭 Print sales go to relief for Typhoon Goni.

December 2020

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#336 Giving Tuesday: Plant One Tree

01 December 2020 // San Diego, California

It’s #GivingTuesday and the thing I’m most excited about is planting trees. Did you know that planting a tree only costs a buck???

$1 = 🌲

It’s been a rough year for… well, pretty much everybody. I’ve seen a lot of my favorite nonprofits make the painful call to let go of some staff. And some of the people who have it hardest were those who nonprofits serve. Those struggling with safety, food security, ecological health, etc.

There’s this quote that gets attributed (probably incorrectly) to Martin Luther. “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”

There’s a similar energy I’ve seen from @plantwpurpose communities this year. The image of families planting a tree that improves the land for generations especially stands out in the middle of a pandemic, tropical storms, political unrest, and everything else that’s come up. It’s the simplest act of hope and belief that their kids could still one day live in a better world.

Go check out the link in my bio to plant trees at a buck a piece. I can’t think of a better return. It’s one of the most accessible, low-cost, but high-impact ways to help people for years to come.

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#337 Und1sputed

02 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Every year, one of my favorite projects is going to one of Plant With Purpose’s program countries to capture the story of one of our partners via video. I really enjoy visiting the country, meeting the family, interviewing, and dreaming up how to turn all that into a video.

It’s 2020, so that didn’t quite happen, BUT we still got a video made! We leaned more heavily on our Dominican partners to introduce us to Gladys and Esteban. We worked with a DR-based team, @primeagenciafotografica to visit their community and capture footage. Then I got to work with @hepburncreative who turned it into this piece!

I’m glad we still came out with this product in spite of it all. That said, I miss visiting our partners. Here’s hoping to get a video the more traditional way in 2021!

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#338 Tagged

03 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Did you know I have a little print shop running? Here’s the story behind it:

Over the summer, a few of my illustrations kind of took off, and I started getting asked a lot if there was somewhere people could buy prints of my work. It took some time to figure out how to do this without stacks of posters all over my house (because, one year old) or needing to make trips to the post office every day (because, that’s a lot).

When I ran the numbers, it looked like selling each poster would barely break even. Then I realized, most people don’t buy posters of things they’re lukewarm about. If something goes on my wall, it’s because of passion! I decided to make the posters a little more premium, earning closer to $5-10 profit per item a good chunk of which could then be donated to a cause fitting of that poster!

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#339 Spreckles Organ

04 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I learned about Rafer Johnson’s passing yesterday.

I was lucky enough to met Rafer Johnson six years ago while teaching special needs students. He was a great athlete and contributed to Civil Rights. Also had an amazing third act as a disability rights advocate.

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#340 Explore Mode Rhys

05 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I wasn’t sure about a Christmas tree this year since we have literally no plans, and cause we have a thirteen year old who’s still figuring out the whole “nice hands” thing. But I do love our yearly trip to a family owned tree farm, the smell of the fresh pines, and supporting some local foresters.

We grabbed a very small stone pine as well as a rosemary sapling. And we got to update last year’s Christmas photo that we grabbed when Rhys was a brand new squish.

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#341 Family Christmas Tree Farm

06 December 2020 // El Cajon, California

I’ve definitely benefited a lot from the Enneagram and learning how not to get too ridiculous as a 7. I don’t exactly write about it a ton, because there are so many who do it better, but it’s such a helpful lens for me that I find it hard not to.

Apparently I wrote enough, however, to be invited to present at the Enneagram Global Summit.

I didn’t realize how big the event would be until I saw Ross Hudson promote it- one of the guys who really helped popularize the Enneagram about 25 years ago. I decided to check out the lineup and was blown away by the names mine appeared beside. Sarahjane Case. Suzanne Stabile. Helen Palmer. Sleeping At Last.

I gave my presentation on the Enneagram and the environment, focusing on how to create social change.

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#342 Sculpted Foods

07 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Dreaming feels easier these days. Almost two easy. On one hand, it might be the effect of living such a restricted life for so long.

On the other, it feels like the right thing to do right now. And I can’t say it’s felt that way at different points during this strange pandemic journey.

I keep writing out lists of things i want to make, stories I want to tell, and places I want to go. (Okay, I always do that, but these lists are more like, places I want to go as soon as it’s remotely possible.)

No New Years resolutions from me until I finish my Old Years resolution of starting and completing Ted Lasso.

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#343 Clay Bibingka

08 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Some of you might not be keeping up with the latest on Blue’s Clues so let me fill you in on what’s going on in Blue’s House:

🏡 Joshua de la Cruz and his Lola have taken over and it is now a house of bibingka.

I saw this thought tweeted by EJ Ramos David right around the same time Disney released their Christmas advert showing a Filipino family. To be honest, representation is something I learned not to even expect. But when you actually see it, it’s everything.

So... enjoy your Blues Clues fan art everybody. 🇵🇭 Print sales go to relief for Typhoon Goni.

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#344 Making Yeungyen

09 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Current obsession: Making this Hong Kong favorite drink that combines sweet black milk tea with some coffee.

Really looking forward to being able to go back and explore Asia.

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#345 All About Process

10 December 2020 // San Diego, California

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel of this whole pandemic mess.⁣

Deanna might be eligible to get the vaccine in a matter of weeks, being in a pretty high priority group. We’ve talked about what life might look like after this very weird, very challenging stretch for us.

I’ve found it easier to start dreaming. Travel. Possibilities. And while my travel list always runs long, it feels a bit more specific lately. I’m really excited to get back to my passion for finding places, people, and things that capture my wonder and telling stories about them. And I suspect it’ll be even sweeter with this massive experience to always remind me not to take the process for granted.

That said… we’re not done yet.⁣

Numbers-wise, cases are worse than they’ve ever been. In the US, in particular. I’ve read too many posts from friends working at hospitals expressing exhaustion and serious concern over the fact that people’s behavior on their online posts doesn’t seem to match the atmosphere within hospitals.⁣

I’ve never been one to promote fear, but I do go all in on compassion. A stretch of intensified lockdowns and newer restrictions is nobody’s preference for how to end a year that’s been a rough one all around, but I do find a renewed sense of determination when I remember who my actions impact.

Wear the mask. Shop small for gifts. Avoid going out as much as you can. Call up people you want to reconnect with. Dream big. Replace the purchases you’d make at big box stores or off Amazon with indie businesses, the meals from chain restaurants with mom-and-pops. If you can, donate to a local food bank or org fighting eviction.

Just don’t bail on compassion.

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#346 Baby Bath

11 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Rando Instagram spammers have totally desensitized me to potentially sincere compliments about my pictures’ compositions.

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#347 rhys’ favorite bridge

12 December 2020 // San Diego, California

How many times have you looked around at people’s thoughts, behaviors, or words lately and thought, “wow, things need to change.”

“We have a lot of work to do.”

I studied both communication and international studies. Two of my big interests continue to be the way people send messages to each other and the way the world changes. I’m especially interested in the crossroads of those two things: how do people communicate in a way that influences how the world works?

⁣I think lately, it’s been easy to look at how various messages get used to incite division and create mistrust. But, I’ve seen enough moments of change around the world to know it can be used for good.

Here’s the idea I’ve been working with lately: you don’t need to convert every single person from a wrong idea to the right idea. You literally can’t. Trying to do this and zooming in on every individual debate opportunity is a recipe for burnout and discouragement. Instead, you can work on creating an ecosystem where better ideas thrive. To play with that metaphor, it’s better to heal the soil than to prevent every single plant from dying.⁣

Successful movements like suffrage, abolition, and LGBT rights didn’t rely on a strategy of getting every single person to listen, understand, and accept their message. They instead shifted the ecosystem, making it a little easier for people to come on board year-after-year.

🌐 It’s why I think creativity is a key ingredient to changemaking.

🌐 It’s why I spend a lot less energy on unproductive debates and focus more on amplifying worthy messages.

🌐 It’s why I increasingly see clarity as kindness.

🌐 It’s why I think beauty- something that gives us no choice but to collectively stop and marvel- can create change.

🌐 It’s why I think creating from a place of empathy and knowing your audience matters.

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#348 Plantshopping

13 December 2020 // Encinitas, California

“I recently was in a talk with a friend who said, "You can't talk about race without talking about place, those things go hand in hand."

It's a multi-layered kind of dynamic, because the way systemic racism works is there's a narrative that black people shouldn't be tied to the land, right? There's also some negative narratives and tropes to black people being tied to the land, but actually, land is a huge source for communal nourishment and physical nourishment as well.”

–Aaron Rogers

🌿✊🏾🌿

For a few weeks, I’ve been working on a podcast episode on environmental antiracism. It got delayed a couple times by technical things, but I think that just maybe… it was supposed to come out this week where our social failures have been quite visible.

Environmental justice and racial justice are two things I have a strong sense of urgency towards. And I think they should be seen as deeply connected. They ARE deeply connected. Getting to talk about that connection… especially through a spiritual lens was my kinda trifecta.

The Black American church has done so much to fully integrate my personal faith practices with actions geared towards collective healing and loving my neighbors, and I was really glad to have two scholars and pastors from that tradition join me: Aaron Rogers from Faith For Justice and Ben Sanders from Eden Theological Seminary. I also got to include a conversation with Carol Bremer Bennet looking at environmental antiracism from a Navajo perspective.

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#349 map effects

14 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I spent the afternoon studying how to make illustrated maps using Adobe After Effects.

It’s pretty amazing to me that this is a skill that can be used to make some pretty intensive animations, and lots of dynamic video displays too. At the same time, it’s so readily accessible.

All it took was a two hour course on Skillshare and I have enough of an orientation to start trying to figure out the specific things I want to do.

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#350 Fern Street Park

15 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve been eager to make some plans for 2021, and while the future is still fuzzy for things like travel, here are some odd topics/skills I want to learn next year:

Bento box Japanese cooking

Herb Moss

Animated maps

Tumbler glass Mezcal

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#351 Cookie Jar Dog

16 December 2020 // San Diego, California

This is usually my favorite part of the year. I love the end of one year and the beginning of another. I love year-end recaps of all kinds, from DJ Earworm’s mashups to Google’s Year in Search. I love being able to dream pretty big about the following year and just speculate about where it might take me. I love making lists. I’m a very future-oriented person, often to a fault.

This year has been a weird one, and that applies to these things, too. For most of the year, I’ve been very reserved about making plans. There were points where planning ahead felt like denial or arrogance. But also, planning ahead felt scary. What if they get all ruined again?

But lately, that’s started to shift. I’ve again felt more and more like looking ahead. To 2021, sure, but also to the vast stretch of future beyond that.⁣

Sometimes I think about my 22-year-old self, just finishing school with a large amount of desire to see various parts of the world, to be a part of solving various problems, and to tell stories that share that wonder with other people. And when I think of the years in between then and now, so many of those things happened! Not always in the way I expected, but the big picture worked out. And it all started with a little boldness to dream and anticipate.

I started making a list… an actual spreadsheet called dream projects. All the things I want to explore, stories I want to tell, and the places it would require me to go. I want to make mini-docs about baobab trees, mezcal, and shopping mall culture in Southeast Asian countries. I want to find the perfect bowl of pho and to do an extended bike trip in Germany. And writing this all down honestly felt right and like the weirdest spiritual discipline that I can’t explain. But it felt like a bit like being a dream-filled 22 year old again.

If that pattern even remotely repeats itself, there’s a lot to look forward to. And even if not, the anticipation itself is a process to enjoy.

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#352 Neighboring Condo

17 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I was not at all expecting to wake up to the news of Major League Baseball reclassifying the Negro Leagues as part of the league, but it’s good news, long overdue, and it makes total sense.

Congrats to Josh Gibson, who I think is now baseball’s all-time GOAT. Curious to see how many HRs they decide he ended his career with. Likely 800+

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#353 Icelandic Poppy

18 December 2020 // San Diego, California

It wasn’t all bad. Part 1.

I mean, 2020 was pretty bad, but good things happened too and I feel like we could all benefit from hearing each others’ wins:

1️⃣

Deanna got her license in clinical social work. I can’t emphasize enough how long that process was, how persistent she was, and how much better that makes our lives. Not to mention, all the people she’ll be in a position to help.⁣

2️⃣

I got to spend a whole lot of time with Rhys. A lot, a lot. And while a lot of those times weren’t easy, they were also sweet. I got to see grow up so much without missing much at all.

3️⃣

This year, I got to spend a lot of time with my aunts- the two living members of my dad’s generation of his family. I always hoped they’d get to see my kids someday. Lo and behold, they not only met Rhys but we were in a quarantine pod together for months, ranging in age from 4 months to 87 years.

My Auntie Ella was our inspiration for Rhys’ middle name, and someone who reminds me that generosity and a sense of doing what’s right for those with less are a part of our family’s roots. Every moment I get to spend with her and my Aunt Fely is extra special.

⁣Alright, what we’re your wins?

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#354 Guadalupe Plaza

19 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I was looking over the YouTube comments of one of my favorite filmmakers who just produced a film about Romania.

Every other comment was from a Romanian excited and grateful for the beautiful way she captured the country’s mountains.

It reminded me of how I want people to feel after the stories I tell. Grateful. And for people who are from the population I want to tell stories about, also a sense of pride.

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#355 Corner Arrangements

20 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Here are a few more good things that happened to me in 2020:

I really learned how to rest, and how to be excited about creative projects without committing every single hour to productivity. I’ve found lots of value in getting lost in a good show, going down a YouTube rabbit hole, playing video games, and things creative gurus say not to.

I had the goal to do one big speaking gig a month, and thought that was done when all events got cancelled. Instead I got more opportunities than ever in the form of virtual events, plus podcast interviews and writing contribution opportunities.

I haven’t been able to travel and capture stories in nearly two years, and that’s my favorite thing to do. In spite of that- I have a lot more inspiration, vision, and even technical skill than I did at that time and will be truly ready for it.

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#356 Lola’s Elf

21 December 2020 // San Diego, California

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

In a more ordinary version of late December, I spend a lot of time looking forward to the next year. Thinking about all the trips and adventures to look forward to, setting parameters around some ambitious project, and making a bunch of lists. But right now, we’re looking at a whole lot of unknowns.

I don’t totally know what my work and creative projects will look like. Childcare is going to be a huge question mark, and so are some financial things. I don’t know what trips are coming and or when.⁣

One of the many, many things this year has taught me has been the sheer value of taking things on one day at a time, and simply doing things the way you need to for that particular day. Our over-industrialized world tends to forget the value of mystery, but, what good is a journey when every single move is scripted and there are no surprises?

The best way to take on an adventure is with just enough strategy to make things happen and just enough spontaneity to improvise when the surprises come.

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#357 Balboa Playtime

22 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Ethical storytelling restrictions are meant to be restrictive. They’re meant to bring out better stories. I still believe that storytelling is powerful, and telling stories that call people’s attention towards things that matter. I want to live in a world where people fight like hell against things that are wrong and also one where people take extreme delight in everything beautiful and mind blowing. Every story well told brings that world into existence.

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#358 The Second Haircut

23 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I hate it when you discover some effort to do good hasn’t actually had a very positive impact… like with recycling or greenwashed goods. But the important thing to remember is that these efforts got so complicated in the first place because they weren’t designed to solve a problem as much as they were designed to solve the way we felt about a problem. 

It’s important that our efforts to do good go beyond wishful thinking.

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#359 Montclair Park

24 December 2020 // San Diego, California

When I was recapping the best things that happened to me in 2020, I left out the biggest one because… this story takes a little more space to tell.

In early 2016, Deanna got sick. Like, really sick. Her lung function dropped to 22% and we had to spend a week in the hospital. It was only our eighth month of being married, and it was scary. By later that year, she had recovered fairly well. She even ran a half-marathon with me a few months after being discharged.

Then in early 2018, she got a pretty bad lung infection that needed IV antibiotics. She recovered, then had another in October. In 2019, she had two infections that needed IV antibiotics while pregnant with Rhys.

This pattern was really concerning, and I tried to not worry about what would happen if it continued over the course of the next few years, but your mind goes there, especially when starting a family.⁣

Then, on the very same week that Rhys was born, this new drug came out. It was the first of its kind, using genetic therapies to treat the underlying causes behind all the infections. The trial results and early testimonies from people who used it almost seemed too good to be true, so I tried not to get my hopes up. And we held off on taking it for a bit, not knowing if it was breastfeeding safe.

Then a pandemic broke out in the spring and being vulnerable to lung issues, we wanted every defense we could get. Deanna started taking it in April, and the effects have been a real game changer. I no longer hear the regular, everyday coughing I’d gotten used to over the past few years.⁣

I can breathe more easily about my family’s future, and Deanna can, very literally, breathe more easily.

The two biggest prayers of my life were answered in October 2019.

I know everyone is doing their own version of grieving and healing after this year, and so many terrible things happened. But it was also a year where I got to see a health breakthrough, and my kid grow up. Here’s hoping our story has something in it that helps you with your own.

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#360 The Simplest Christmas

25 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Merry Christmas from this wild, tree loving, adventure hungry crew.

🌲🌲🌲

It’s just the three of us this year, plus Beignet of course. As much as I love full houses packed with loved ones, and adventures as far off as I can think of, it feels really, really right to embrace the fact that today is a simple, intimate one for this team. I hope today can be whatever your soul needs it to be.⁣

Now to spend the rest of the day obsessing over my new Japanese cookbook and skillet, saving Rhys from a few head bumps, grooving to the Jingle Jangle soundtrack, and finally getting to watch Soul.

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#361 Rhys’ Tower

26 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Lots of people find the last week of the year awkward as you never know what day of the week it is. I think that’s one of the things I love about it.

Anything that makes me feel more free from our culture’s excessive time awareness is a treat.

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#362 La Jolla

27 December 2020 // La Jolla, California

2020 wasn’t as expected, but I went the “good” kind of viral for antiracism resources I made, learned to hold things loosely, further detached my value from productivity, relearned rest, set better boundaries, worried less about people’s opinions, and started dreaming big again.

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#363 The Boldest Rainbow

28 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I don’t cry very often, but a disproportionate amount of times I tear up are at animated movies. Some of them just play to the feels. Here’s my reaction to Soul.

First of all- I loved it. And I’m not surprised by that at all. Pete Docter and the Pixar crew taking on existential questions about life’s purpose featuring a bunch of jazz? Yes please!

My main takeaway from watching this was that a lot of us spend our days waiting for our “big break,” whatever that means for us- and it’s tempting to think that this is when our lives will really get good. Really, life is made up of ordinary but still sacred moments. Having a passion is a good thing, but it’s not really our purpose.

My favorite was the barbershop scene, featuring someone whose dreams didn’t work out but who still found a way to love his life. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend who took a big risk to launch a music career. “I’ve had to ask myself if I’m willing to accept what happens if this dream doesn’t come true,” she told me.⁣

Sometimes I get tempted to keep holding back until I get a “big break” which is kinda silly, given that I’ve already had a few of my wildest hopes come true. But I’ve been on this journey for a few years of trying to focus less on results and to love the process more. This year was a great teacher.

Did you see Soul yet? What did you gain from it?

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#364 The Soggiest Boy

29 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I light up when I hear somebody described as “your favorite artist’s favorite artist-” or something like that.

Roy Halladay was probably your favorite pitcher’s favorite pitcher.

MF Doom was your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper.

If you have a creative influence, you’ll want to check out who they were influenced by and dig into those creative roots. It’s like unearthing whole new layers to the art that inspires your own.

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#365 DJI Osmo Pocket

30 December 2020 // San Diego, California

This year was such a weird one, and while I miss all the adventures that usually mark a year, I feel so strongly and deeply that I didn’t waste this year. In fact, relative to a lot of other recent end-of-year pulse reads, I’m perhaps a little more happy with myself for the way I showed up.

Putting all comforts and conveniences aside to take care of Rhys without thinning about it.

Finding and discovering my voice during pivotal social moments.

Getting creative, thinking ahead, and keeping my family safe during a pandemic.

Maybe there was less fun than expected, but I know I fully leaned into being the kind of person I want to grow into. Lessgo.

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#366 Babies on a Hike

31 December 2020 // San Diego, California

One of the best ways to redeem a year like this one is to actually take the time to think through the lessons it had for us, to articulate the things we see differently from last January, and to make simple but doable plans for incorporating those lessons into our lives. Here are a few things that really sunk home:

💠Clarity is an act of kindness in a complex world. Sometimes we hold back saying important things for the sake of avoiding controversy. We veil our thoughts and true selves behind ambiguity. That usually serves no one but ourselves.

💠Whenever you speak up about things that matter, there will always be some who just won’t get it. Don’t worry too much about that. Definitely don’t let it stop ya. Just keep working on cultivating an ecosystem built on your values.⁣

💠Fear, anger, and sadness are valuable gifts that keep us safe, orient us towards justice, and remind us of what has value. Toxic positivity cuts us off from these gifts.

💠Our Creator has given us everything we need… not just for survival, but to THRIVE. Don’t let the “running the world like a business” mindset trick you into seeing scarcity, instead of abundance and connection.

💠You come to life when your pursuit of joy and your pursuit of justice get intertwined.

💠Don’t fear death, but don’t be its ally. All of us are vulnerable to how uncertain life is. That should be all the more reason to spend our lives serving the most vulnerable.

💠 Productivity shouldn’t be confused with purpose. Our culture has DEEPLY wired us to find value in our output. Relearn those instincts. Enjoy the process.

Happy New Years to ya. Happy to share this wild ride.

Print Shop

PRINTshop.jpg

Did you know I have a little print shop running? Here’s the story behind it:

Over the summer, a few of my illustrations kind of took off, and I started getting asked a lot if there was somewhere people could buy prints of my work. It took some time to figure out how to do this without stacks of posters all over my house (because, one year old) or needing to make trips to the post office every day (because, that’s a lot).

When I ran the numbers, it looked like selling each poster would barely break even. Then I realized, most people don’t buy posters of things they’re lukewarm about. If something goes on my wall, it’s because of passion! I decided to make the posters a little more premium, earning closer to $5-10 profit per item a good chunk of which could then be donated to a cause fitting of that poster!

Shop here.

Here’s a few pieces I’ve worked on lately that I haven’t shared here yet:

Something to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of women’s voting rights… or at least the start of women’s voting rights.

Something to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of women’s voting rights… or at least the start of women’s voting rights.

A tribute to Sir Ken Robinson, who a lot of people might know from his TED Talk on education. He passed away this summer. I’ve loved so much of what he had to say about creativity, imagination, and learning.

A tribute to Sir Ken Robinson, who a lot of people might know from his TED Talk on education. He passed away this summer. I’ve loved so much of what he had to say about creativity, imagination, and learning.

A piece to celebrate our local USL soccer team- last year, they forfeited a game in protest when an opponent directed slurs at a gay player, effectively sacrificing their playoff chances. They did a similar thing when racial slurs were directed at a…

A piece to celebrate our local USL soccer team- last year, they forfeited a game in protest when an opponent directed slurs at a gay player, effectively sacrificing their playoff chances. They did a similar thing when racial slurs were directed at a Black player a month earlier. I’ve needed a local team to get behind!

A Fernando Tatis Jr. piece, cause, that guy’s got to be the most fun player to watch these days.

A Fernando Tatis Jr. piece, cause, that guy’s got to be the most fun player to watch these days.