It’s been 15 months since I’ve been a dad of three. My oldest is still a young three-year-old, meaning, yeah… my life has been a babytown of chaos. In spite of that, I’ve somehow managed to bring this crew to Guatemala, Alaska, Hawaii, and the Philippines within that time frame.
Ambitious journeys. Complicated journeys. But somehow, they worked out!
I want my kids to grow up well-traveled, and I want that to start pretty early. I’m okay with them being a bit more spoiled in that department, because I think exposure to different cultures and environments does a person that much good.
Here’s my mega collection of baby travel tips.
1. First of all, adjust your expectations. Traveling with kids is completely different than traveling solo, or with a partner or friends. You move slower, of course. You don’t totally get to check out of your routines. It can still be good, and maybe even better in some ways. Just don’t expect it to be the same.
2. The general rule of thumb is that kids fly free on your lap under the age of two on domestic flights. Internationally, you usually have to pay close to a full fare, but they’ll knock out some costs since they aren’t in an actual seat. (This is when you realize how much of a ticket cost actually comes from taxes, airport fees, etc.)
3. Some airlines offer kid discounts, even once they cross that 2-year-old threshold! Ones known to do this: Frontier, Southwest, American Airlines, Scandinavian (SAS), Qatar Airways, Air Tahiti Nui, British Airways, Virgin Atlantic, Japan Airlines, TAP Portugal, and Ethiad. Some of these aren’t always offered, but are frequently recurring promotions. This post has helpful details on that.
4. For the most part, other passengers around you will be nice and sympathetic. There’s always the exceptional curmudgeon, but I’ve only ever encountered one grump out of dozens of neighbors. Ignore them and don’t let them make the trip any harder than it already is. You’ve got bigger things to worry about. On the flip side, on my last flight, my two neighbors volunteered to hold my kid so I could eat. It helps that they were moms who once were in the same position.
5. My friend Gary’s trick: Bring a bag of Hershey Kisses to give out to your seat neighbors and the flight attendants. A kind acknowledgement that says “yeah, you got the short straw on this flight, but we see you.”
6. If you have a particularly long day of air travel, look up the airports you’ll be going through and see if they have kids’ play areas. I’ve seen these in Manila, Seattle, and Guatemala. Being a lap infant is a lot of sitting around. The more running around they do, the more likely they’ll sleep on board.
7. If your kid is still small enough to sit in a bassinet… many airlines have these on board! After you book the ticket, you’ll want to call the airline (I know, that might take a minute). Tell them you have a baby and you want a bassinet. They’ll put in you in that front row where you’re facing a wall. It has little knobs, where an on-board bassinet gets connected. It’s first come, first serve, but it’ll be really nice to have your hands free.
8. Two lap infants cannot sit in the same row- meaning if you’re a couple with twins, you’ll have to split up and maximize the amount of neighbors you irritate. The explanation is that there are only four oxygen masks per row.
9. I didn’t know until very recently that you can actually travel with more kids under two than you have adults! Of course, they can’t both be lap infants, so you’ll have to book the seat next to you and probably attach a car seat. You’ll be paying more to be more outnumbered by your kids, so I don’t think I’ll be doing this too much by choice. But if you simply have no other option…
10. Strollers and car seats can be gate checked… meaning your kids can be wheeled around until the very last minute you hop on the plane. And this is almost always at no extra cost! For kids in a rear-facing car seat, I love the Doona, since it’s a car seat that turns into a stroller (why aren’t they all like this?), saving you a piece of gear. Sadly, they don’t make a twin model.
11. The one bit of gear I recommend: the WayB PICO lightweight car seat. For kids who are in a front-facing car seat. This thing weighs eight pounds folded up. Car seats are so bulky and are one of the least convenient things about traveling with kids, so I love that this solves the problem. Many car rental companies also offer complimentary car seat rentals, so check to see if this is available before spending anything extra.
12. These days I’ve been more interested in hotels and hostels with private rooms than Airbnbs, but rental homes still seem to win out when you’re traveling with a large family with little kids. The common space, the prospect of a backyard, and the partitioned off rooms are a big win. You’ll be spending more time in your accommodations so think before going the super cheap route. Maybe book a place with the right vibes to make it more part of the experience?
13. Most nicer hotels have cribs available. The motels and budget accommodations are about 50/50, but you can call ahead of time. In fact, you should since they’re usually first come first serve. Heads up if you have twins– make sure to overcommunicate this fact, because it always goes over people’s heads when I reserve two cribs. If you’re in a group with multiple rooms, I request cribs in two of them to make sure.
14. Look to see if you can find baby consignment stores at your destination… easiest in North America and Europe, but sometimes in parts of East Asia or big cities in Latin America. This will save you the trouble of having to check in larger items like pack-and-plays or high chairs. You can sell your gear back at the end. You’ll lose some money, but not as much you would by paying check-in fees.
15. Diapers and formula are sold in just about every part of the world… and it’s very likely that your preferred brand of formula is also manufactured overseas. Yeah, rural parts of the deep Congo might be exceptions to this, but if you’re going there,you already like to play this game on hard…
16. Read up on the cultural attitudes towards children where you’re going. I don’t know how else to say this, but white kids get a TON of attention in China… which might be no big deal, but might make other families uncomfortable. Scandinavia tends to give kids a lot of space, whereas there’s more hand-holding in the Philippines. In many Asian countries, there’s a big divide between generations, but in France you might see more of an effort to integrate kids into broader society. Respect these differences for what they are, while still knowing where your levels of comfort and discomfort are.
17. You’ll spend a lot of time thinking about how much harder it is to travel with kids compared to by yourself. Balance this by also thinking of ways the experience is better. Kids are naturally curious and haven’t lost their sense of wonder. We can learn from that, and try to see our destination with that beginner’s mindset.
18. Can you get some help with the kids? Obviously this is the big question even at home, but the fact that we were able to invite my mom to our Guatemala trip was a game changer. In the Philippines, we were able to hire a couple nannies, allowing us to go on more adult excursions. (They had worked with our family before, and we stayed a month.) Are you going somewhere affordable enough to pay for a regular nanny you already work with? This just might determine where you end up going.
19. Scandinavia, Japan, Australia, the Netherlands, and Canada have pretty good infrastructure for young kids, but what makes a kid-friendly destination largely depends on what you want to do there. If you have one-year-olds and you’re drawn to Australia for the surf… you might get some serious FOMO unless you have a sitter with you. Maybe wait just a couple years so the kids can catch their first waves with you?
20. Car seats aren’t used in a lot of parts of the world… so see how comfortable you are with that. (In these parts, kids ride on laps.) Because of our quantity of kids, we chose Guatemala over Ireland for this reason… finding an Irish car rental that could fit three car seats and three adults was nearly impossible.
21. Know that shit happens, everywhere. Like… kids have meltdowns. Kids get sick. Kids fall down and scratch stuff up. That’s just life with a kid. My take is that this can happen at home just as much as it can happen when you’re overseas, so don’t let it be the thing that holds you back. Just solve the problem that’s in front of you.
22. Remember that this is just as much your kids’ experience as it is yours… and it can be a lot for them. This doesn’t mean your entire itinerary needs to be Legoland, but think about their interests and needs alongside yours. After an intensive travel day, they’ll probably need time to roam more freely. Combining an introduction to a totally new place with some free time to play with familiar toys is a compassionate, balanced approach.
23. Before a trip starts, know what you want to get out of it. Our most recent trip was to start the lifelong process of giving my kids a connection to their Filipino roots. In these early trips, one big goal was to build a positive relationship with travel early. We might not check off 100% of the things on our list, but if we’re moving towards that outcome, it’s still a win.
24. My favorite tip… get a balcony. On those nights where the kids are in bed and you wish you could just leave and explore the city, a balcony will at least help you feel more connected to your surroundings. Get some locally produced wine or whatever other treat the area is known for, and connect with your partner.