March 11 of last year started off simple enough. I had a staff retreat in the day, so I dropped Rhys off at my mom’s. While on my way back to pick him up, it all went down. Tom Hanks. The Utah Jazz. The shutting of every border.
A year into this tragic, absurd, and extremely trying time, I would’ve expected to feel a lot of heavy things. Disappointment in the ableism and disregard for the most vulnerable that I saw from so many people and institutions I had trusted. Grief at all that was lost. Those feelings are legit, and they’re around somewhere, but they aren’t dominant today like I might’ve thought.
Instead…
I remember the feeling of resolve I felt that night. The person I love most has fought to breathe her whole life, and now the most global threat was a highly transmissible respiratory illness. As disappointing as it was to give up all the plans we had for the year, the sheer determination to keep her safe, to keep my family safe took over.
A year later… we’ve done it. And I feel that reminder that with God’s grace and the love of community, we are capable of hard things.
On one hand, it’s easy to get stuck on the feeling of losing a year of our lives due to this major disruption. But I think it’s simultaneously true that we invested a year doing the best we could to save as many lives as we could.
Fittingly, I get my second shot this weekend. I am looking forward to reengaging so many things that have been out of reach the past year with a whole new, much deeper sense of appreciation.