November 2020

 
#306 Rhys' Baptism.JPG

#306 Baptizing Rhys

01 November 2020 // San Diego, California

The past couple weeks have been a LOT, but one beautiful thing that happened was getting to have Rhys baptized on All Saints Day, the day after he turned one.

To be honest, I’ve viewed my faith pretty individualistically for most of my life. And there’s some importance to make sure the decisions nobody can make for you are coming for your true self. But, my belief is that God is relational and experienced in community.

To me, it’s beautiful to know that my faith is something that has been passed through generations, and that it has movement that will go far beyond my own lifespan. That it has expressions and elements that are foreign to my own culture.

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#307 Sippy

02 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Lots of posts starting off with “no matter who wins tomorrow...”

And most of them I basically agree with.

At the same time lots of real concerns of real people are really at stake.

The waiting room of an ER is no place to be singing “Don’t Worry Be Happy.”

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#308 Biden-Harris

03 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Have you listened to your neighbors? Do you know their deepest fears? Their concerns? Their dreams? Their names? Do you recognize the impact systems and structures have on these? Did you make a decision from a place of love? Have you gone beyond the mere feeling of love and moved towards the ferocity of love in public? Do you know what your next steps are after today?

Octavia Butler with the words.

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#309 Late Night Waiting

04 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I don’t like to be too preachy here, but I keep seeing the same idea repeated again and again by, um, actual preachers: It doesn’t matter who wins, God is on the throne.

You can expect to hear this on queue each election, like Mariah Carey’s Christmas jams in mid November.

It’s a true statement, but also incomplete.

This shouldn’t be a phrase used to placate our concern for the poor, the vulnerable, the sick, or the oppressed- those who have the most at stake in each election. This shouldn’t lower the volume of our cries for justice.

Speaking to my Christian faith, while God is on the throne, Jesus completely rewrote the playbook on what you do with that kind of power. He got up to wash feet.

American Christianity is already too throne obsessed. The world at large can recognize all that we’ve compromised in a pursuit of power. Can a reminder of God on the throne be helpful for some of us? For sure. But a true awakening to how we find Christ among the marginalized? That’d be truly revolutionary.

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#310 Evening Walker

05 November 2020 // San Diego, California

You never really get how much representation matters until it hits home, I think.

“When Kamala Harris was born, Black people weren’t allowed to vote and Asians were by and large banned from entering into the United States. Now, a Black/Asian American woman will hold the Vice Presidential seat. Regardless of your political views, this is worth celebrating.”

– Raymond Chang

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#311 Sand Play

06 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I love seeing the video clips of people in New York absolutely losing it every time a USPS truck goes by.

I want us to keep up this level of appreciation for the “ordinary worker” well beyond 2020. Reroute some of our celebrity gaze, there’s plenty to spare.

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#312 Biden Wins

07 November 2020 // San Diego, California

A lot can feel very complex right now.⁣

How do we build unity without sacrificing justice?

How do we dismantle the conditions that led to the last four years?

How do we hold new leaders accountable?⁣

How do we keep momentum, fight complacency, and resist accepting a “return to normal” as a substitute for a better future?

I’m learning a lot but I sure don’t have all those answers.

There’s room for all that complexity.

But there’s also clarity.

⁣You can check in with your soul and body and ask, what thoughts or feelings can I absolutely not deny right now?⁣

For me, and for so many, it’s joy. Relief. And yes, hope.

It’s immediately thinking of the next generation with bigger dreams.

⁣It’s wanting to celebrate in community, but also wanting to protect that community, so adapting to a car parade on my street.⁣

I saw Blair Imani share, “I’ve never heard of an organizing framework that says don’t celebrate.”⁣

I heard of a Dreamer friend, who went out and bought shelf organizers this week. And something so simple was so worth celebrating. A chance to unpack. A chance to dig in and plant roots and to make a home and pursue good for the land.

Let complex things be complex.⁣

Let what’s clear be clear.⁣

And like my friend Kathleen wrote yesterday: if you lead with Love, you will be on the right path

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#313 Wet Green Leaves

08 November 2020 // La Mesa, California

My transition into more meatless weekdays is making me happy. Mostly because I keep discovering one solid meatless option after another. Some faves?

Shakshuka

Radishes and Polenta

Roasted Shishito Peppers

Kimchi Fried Rice

Buckwheat Soba and Tofu

Impossible Lumpia

Cucumber Sprout Sammies

Mint and Peach Naan Flatbread

What else should I add?

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#314 Leafy Stomp

09 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I don’t quite understand the point of resigning from your job in protest of your boss’ evil scheme if you know your replacement would just be a yes man who doesn’t stand up to him?

Couldn’t you just start doing your job like the sloth in Zootopia instead?

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#315 Impossible Lumpia

10 November 2020 // San Diego, California

This time a year ago, I wasn’t just just getting acquainted with my newborn son. I was also starting to get acquainted with a new version of myself. Dad mode.

My transition to being a dad will always be intertwined with me entering my thirties, and the dramatic way a pandemic reset our world. None of the dust has settled. But all these things have certainly made me be more intentional about what’s really important.

I hope I’ve grown in the direction of Love. I think I have. But I know it hasn’t always looked like the sweet sentimental version of Love. Especially this year, it’s often been the fiercely protective side of Love. The kind that doesn’t humor toxic behaviors or ideas. The kind that goes to bat for the vulnerable.

The stakes are higher, but at the same time, the simple moments are also elevated. I’ve gotten more joy from reading the same picture books over and over, from bath times, and from piggyback rides in the park than ever makes sense.

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#316 Carseat Driver

11 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Last week, while everyone was frantically hitting refresh, I came upon a post from Latif Nasser showing how a crest of consistently blue-voting counties from Arkansas to the Carolinas lines up perfectly with the shoreline of North America during the Cretaceous Era. The links? Being underwater ➡️ fertile soil ➡️ farmlands ➡️ slavery & sharecropping ➡️ high Black populations today.

(Look this up, it’s fascinating!)

🗺

Maps tell stories, which is why I’m kinda obsessed with them and could stare at them all day. Even when they aren’t electoral maps! In fact, I’d say the red-and-blue one we’ve all been staring at isn’t the best storyteller.⁣

If you were to grab three West Virginians, odds are, one voted for Biden. Statistically. But you probably wouldn’t expect that if you automatically see red with West Virginia. The reverse it true for a consistent blue state like Oregon. Mississippi has a wall of blue counties, roughly 4x the amount of blue counties in the state of New York.⁣

🗺⁣

Why does this stuff matter, beyond reminding us of the Electoral College’s shortfalls?

🔵🔴 If we do need a road that leads us away from the divisive, polarized climate right now, research shows that the binary red-and-blue map increases perceptions of polarization and political stereotyping, versus more accurate purple maps.

🔵🔴 These maps also lead to the erasure of organizers who work to mobilize voters and participants in communities in states where we have the most stereotypical views. We saw the impact of Black women in Georgia and Navajo leaders in Arizona. There are many others creating movement in Missouri, Alabama, Texas, and many other places. When their efforts are ignored by a national audience, it becomes easier for their urges to be ignored by national leaders.

🔵🔴 And ideological stereotyping allows us to paint places with a broad brush, envisioning the South as racist while ignoring the problems in our own backyard. I’m writing this from California where this happens alllll the time. Like Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi’s TED Talk points out, there’s danger to telling a singular story.

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#317 Upas Park

12 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Unity. We need it. But also, it’s a loaded concept sometimes, huh?⁣

How can we seek unity in a way that doesn’t undermine justice? A concept of unity that doesn’t address damage done to people on the margins isn’t really unity at all.⁣

I have more questions than answers at this point, but I’ve also been thinking a lot this week about the community in Colombia I had the chance to visit last year. They were torn apart by years of violent conflict, and are have since faced many of the same questions.⁣

🇨🇴🇨🇴🇨🇴⁣

The biggest thing I learned: You can’t have healing without justice.

That doesn’t just mean punishing the “bad guys.”⁣

🌐

It starts with truth-telling and people owning up to the harm that they caused others. I was amazed with how open some former fighters were about the damage they know they caused. Until people are unable to acknowledge how their decisions have harmed others, it holds healing at a standstill.

🌐⁣

It also means creating a system and conditions to prevent a return to violence and harm. I was moved by ordinary people working with the next generation to make it harder for outsiders to recruit them into war.

🌐

It’s a process, not an overnight fix. A former combatant, very eager to start a new life, admitted that forgiveness was at a point too far down the road from where he was right now. But he was taking steps towards being able to physically be around his community again.⁣

🌐⁣

Healing is possible. But it takes time. It takes truth. It takes justice. But it’s definitely possible.

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#318 House of Finland

13 November 2020 // San Diego, California

You never really get how much representation matters until it hits home, I think.

Disney’s UK Christmas advert hit all the right notes for me.

Then I see the preview of Joshua de la Cruz having his Lola over for Blue’s Clues episodes, and it feels just right.

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#319 Park Player

14 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I found myself missing parties and people and travel and so many things this week. Cautiously... the news about Pfizer’s vaccine this week is really good news!

And we’re just on the cusp of a really hard stretch of this pandemic. But I’ll take a light at the end of that spike-rimmed tunnel.

The “grey lining to a silver cloud” would be that they’re getting data (aka positive cases) at a much quicker rate cause cases are surging. Be careful out there!

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#320 Jigueros Preserve

15 November 2020 // Fallbrook, California

I discovered the Chinese phrase 報復性熬夜, which sort of means “revenge to stay up.” This describes people who have their hands full all day that they stay up later because they treasure their freedom before bed. 

I get 3-5 hours of “free time” each night between when I put the kid down and when I go to sleep. This is definitely me. I just wanna know how to pronounce this!

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#321 Roast Shishito

16 November 2020 // San Diego, California

You kind of have to go out of your way to add roast shishito to a recipe. It’s not the most common ingredient. And yet… it makes so many things better! What a versatile pepper.

Thanks for always pushing me to be a little more creative, Meatless Monday.

#322 Shakshuka

17 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I like that Stacey Abrams herself insists that mobilizing isn’t a one person effort, and that the narrative of putting changemaking on the shoulders of one individual, no matter how incredible, isn’t sustainable.

That said, I was watching her All In documentary and found that her challenges of being underestimated or tokenized hit home. It was a lesson in playing the long game and leadership through teamwork. I couldn’t pick just one quote to illustrate!

“We are strongest when we see the most vulnerable in our society, bear witness to their struggles, and then work to create systems to make it better”

“Because I learned long ago that winning doesn’t always mean you get the prize. Sometimes you get progress, and that counts.”

“I was raised to believe that my faith should never be a sword to strike down another community, it should always be a shield to protect.”

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#323 Can We Travel Yet

18 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Some of you might’ve never seen a cross-cut of a persimmon before, so here ya go!

It’s been 15 months since I’ve been out of state. My travel hiatus started pre-COVID, since we were in the late stages of a complicated pregnancy last fall. Needless to say, I am so ready to head out on an adventure without borders as soon as it’s back on the table!

Lately I’ve been feeling more optimistic about next year and future adventures and being able to collect stories from places afar. And it’ll all be with a richer appreciation for the adventure.

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#324 Bienestar

19 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I learned about a seminary professor from Casper ter Kuile who requires students to learn the names of 10 species of plants and animals in their neighborhood. After all, they are part of getting to know one's "congregation.”

My congregation includes parrots, skunks, jacarandas, snapdragons, and a whole lotta alley cats.

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#325 T Gwynn

20 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Some favorite things from my Big Sur trip:

🗺 The Hwy 1 drive is a highlight in and of itself, and there are a few trails partway to stop at if you wanna interrupt the drive with a hike

🗺 Walking the Garrapatta Trail was super easy with a kid strapped to my back, and such a photogenic trek

🗺 Big Sur Creek runs through a lot of the main camp areas and has plenty of secluded points. Perfect for Rhys and I to splash around in.

🗺 Carmel and Monterey have a lot of good spots to eat. We didn’t really get to do much there, but at least we know where to look!

🗺 This place is a photographer’s playground, but while it’s easy to take a good photo… it’s a bit more challenging to take an original one. But, creativity loves a challenge like that!

Unfortunately it’s not the most dog friendly place, which is why there are some key highlights missing from here. We’ll have to get a sitter next time. Speaking of next time, what else can’t I miss?

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#326 Autumnal

21 November 2020 // San Diego, California

It makes sense that this is part of getting older, but it feels like each month that goes by makes me less and less interested in trying to please everybody and making approval the goal.

Simultaneously, I become more and more convinced that by being transparent and honest, I’m being kind. Even when the truth isn’t an immediate crowd pleaser. If nothing else, I owe people my clarity.

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#327 Frazier Park

22 November 2020 // Frazier Park, California

I’m an oversubscriber. I definitely have the habit of seeing a few too many podcasts, YouTube channels, etc. that look appealing. And we all know where that ends up. A whole bunch of unheard episodes that I never end up getting to blocking out things I genuinely want to watch.

This week, I took the time to pare down some of my YouTube subscriptions, and to clear out a lot of my podcast backlog. And that was so helpful. I’m actually excited about what’s left and eager to learn and get inspired.

Curating is always better than collecting.

#328 Good Morning Park

23 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Moment of honesty here, the past two months have been hard.

Because of some pretty complicated issues going on in my family, our childcare situation fell through. Because we’re in the middle of a pandemic, we don’t really have any other options but juggling Rhys while doing our jobs from home. It’s a LOT.⁣

I wake up basically as early as possible to do as much work as possible before Deanna starts working. Then around 10, I’m with Rhys all day, only getting stuff done during naps. He’s also a carbon copy of my energy level, a very early walker, and not the biggest napper, so those hours are a handful. I’ve taken so many meetings with a wild rumpus going on just off camera as I carefully DJ that mute button.

Here’s what’s kept me going (other than not really having a choice)– I know I’m doing the right thing, and I know someday I’ll miss this.

Even though days feel pretty long, I can still feel pretty good knowing that I’ve made my family the priority, been firm with boundaries, and left nothing undone to take care of them. It’s the sort of thing that you don’t regret.

⁣And it’s come with the huge perk of getting to spend so much time with Rhys during this pretty dynamic time in his development. We go on near-daily adventures to parks so he can explore, and Rhys has become much more of a daddy stan lately! (Moms really have the early advantage, and rightfully so, but it’s nice to start getting some of that.)

Things are hard now, but someday, you’ll actually miss this.⁣

I don’t know if that applies to your situation the way it does to mine, but if it does, give yourself that reminder as much as you need to. I’ve needed it!

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#329 Follow Me

24 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

When you wanna be a travel influencer but spend all your days with a one year old and the only place you go is the dining room.

Can’t wait for the world to reopen again.

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#330 jANET rETURNS

25 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Here are three books that have been getting quite a bit of hype over the past year... deservedly so in my opinion!

Most of my reading this year has been towards the heavier side of nonfiction, but sometimes the truth is best told in a story. Here are #somebooknotes

📙 Where The Crawdads Sing was great as a genre defying, expectation juking tome. Characters were richly developed, and I loved the love the novel had for its setting and its ecology in particular.

📘 Such a Fun Age was really effective at showing how good intentions don’t always have good impact.

📗 The Vanishing Half was a strong second novel for Brit Bennett, and introduced the topics of colorist, identity, and generational trauma through a family epic.

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#331 kERN rIVER

26 November 2020 // Sequoia National Forest, California

What I’m thankful for feels kind of obvious: my family and the way this wild time has strengthened our ties. We’ve been safe and healthy. We have jobs we find meaningful, and we’ve grown so much in terms of finding our voice, setting boundaries, and being emotionally honest. It hasn’t been easy, but we have it good.

That said... here’s a quick list of some less predictable stuff I’m also thankful for this year.

🔸 My green micropuff jacket in heavy rotation these days.

🔸 Buying an oversized tent four years ago and reaping the rewards now with a kid.

🔸 Dancing to KOKOKO with Rhys

🔸 MLB The Show.

🔸 Hummingbirds.

🔸 Over The Moon.

🔸 Ramy, season two.

🔸 Healthy enneagram 8s.

🔸 These accounts: @blackliturgies + @blackcoffeewithwhitefriends + @mspackyetti

🔸 Trader Joe’s Greek Yogurt Oatmeal Cookies.

🔸 The “We have _____ at home” dad meme.

#332 wEIRD yEAR thANKSGIVING

27 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Processing in real time the challenges of this year, the truth of all I have to be thankful for, and the indigenous pain associated with today.

I do think the most honest expression of gratitude leaves room for grief. Both remind us of our place in a much bigger story.

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#333 cRUNCHY lEAF pARK

28 November 2020 // San Juan Capistrano, California

This is usually one of my favorite times of the year. All the gaps in the usual hustle give me a chance to catch up on some of my favorite makers’ creative work, and I tend to end up really inspired for things I want to make.

This year is sort of like that, but a couple things are different.

1) I’m really hungry for creative adventures. I’ve missed being able to launch out into the world, gather stories, and tell them creatively. It looks more and more like that’ll be back on the table in 2021, and there’s a lot of bottled up creative energy going on.

2) I’m less interested in simply doing things, this time around, but truly enjoying the process. I want my creative outlets to feel more and more like a playground. I think that time is coming.

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#334 Hate is a Virus

29 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I haven’t watched this show in like 20 years (unless you wanna count Slumdog) but Dave Chang’s win makes me happier than makes sense.

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#335 bIRD pARK gROVE

30 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I read a thread online about what people would be doing by 6pm if the pandemic were to just suddenly end around 3.

Just a hunch, but I don’t think the pandemic’s going anywhere by 3-6 pm.

But the responses… hopping on planes, partying with octogenarians, even licking Times Square.

On the flip side I do think we’ll see something to be hopeful about in 3-6 months, so I am saving these replies so I can really savor doing those things then.

(Most of them. No licking Times Square for me)