A deep clean of the weekly calendar
Earlier this year, I challenged myself to radically cut back on the things that were keeping me busy.
I mapped out how the 125 waking hours of a week in my life typically gets allocated. I looked at the hours that were dedicated to work, errands, creative projects, and other obligations and challenged myself to find a way to free up a third of it.
I knew it would call for some pretty difficult cuts, but I knew I needed to do it. I ended last year feeling fairly burnt out, and my kids were growing at the rate of mushrooms after a storm.
A few months removed from drastically decommitting to things, I know I did the right thing. But it wasn’t an easy call.
Being busy comes naturally to me. I like to say yes. Overall, it’s a trait I like about myself. I think at times where I’m the most engaged and enthusiastic in life, I have a lot of things going on. However, I’ve also had quite a few experiences where that crosses the line from a healthy abundance to simply too much.
As an enthusiast, I’ve discovered that one of the most important lessons for me has been to understand where that line separating the two exists.
Last week, I celebrated a birthday and moved more firmly into my mid-thirties. I enjoy this age. I can be geriatric in the company of running backs and TikTok influencers, but a total kid in the company of congresspeople and Facebook users. One thing I’ve noticed as more and more of my adulthood moves into the rearview mirror, however, is the increasing importance of being selective of how I spend my time.
In earlier years, the consequences for saying yes to too many things were pretty mild. There were no kids to worry about. I could handle the sleep deprivation a little easier. Most of all, it was often in my benefit to say yes to things. It helped me build a diversity of experiences that enrich my life and create opportunities for me to do things I love.
But with age comes the realization that sometimes you have to pick and choose. I have quite an expansive range of interests and a really strong appetite to do things… which makes it mathematically impossible for me to actually do them all. I’ve experienced the benefit of being a little out of touch with that reality, in that my drive to do as many things as I can fit has taken me to places I never imagined. But now, I’m seeing the benefit of being selective.
You can enjoy life a little more when your commitments are more of a curation than a collection.
Perhaps my biggest alert was when I realized I had so many of the things I had always wanted in life. A big family. A creative job that lets me help people. A lot of opportunities to see the world. But I started to notice the days themselves felt like sprints to the finish in order to get everything done. I wanted to actually have the time to slow down and savor having a life I’ve always dreamed of.
I haven’t totally thrown out the idea that it can also be very valuable to take a big swing at a goal that seems impossible and out of reach. You often surprise yourself! But, having experienced that, I’m now finding most of the delightful surprises in my life are coming from the times I give myself a little bit more space for serendipity.
It’s a very rare, privileged, and special position I’m in, to be able to have practically every moment of my day filled with something I find valuable and meaningful, whether it’s hanging out with my kids or preparing for a storytelling trip to Africa. Even actions like cooking or walking the dog feel special. They just don’t feel as special when it feels like they need to be rushed so I can pack it all in.