How many of these have you seen and CAN WE TALK ABOUT STATION ELEVEN?
2021's Books
One last best of 2021 post- the books I read.
Probably aiming to scale this a back this year… and not just cause of the kids. I’m always torn between wanting to read a bit slower to take it all in and feeling restless with how many good books are out there and the pace I would actually need to read to get through them all in my life.
But also, yeah, the kids.
Last year’s batch, though, that was a good mix!
Need a Reset Button on 2022?
Here’s to the New New Year.
No Celebration Without Legislation
Happy MLK Day… kind of.
In case you missed it, Martin Luther King’s family has asked for no celebrations of MLK Day until action has been taken to protect voting rights.
As of now, none has been taken.
Does it feel weird, and maybe even jarring to be told not to celebrate someone for whom our society has developed a deep respect and reverence?
Well, true disrespect and irreverence comes in the form of erasing some of the hard earned liberties he and others gave their lives fighting for. Especially voting rights. Over the past decade- and in particular the past few months- a number of laws have been passed, mostly at the state level, stripping voting access and strength away from communities of color.
Gerrymandering, closing polling sites in Black & Brown neighborhoods, dividing a district to fracture the power of a community, and outlawing practices that are hallmarks of voter efforts in communities of color are all voter suppression.
Win by making an impact. Not by curating your poll numbers.
Personally, I don’t have a whole lot of confidence on the immediate horizon. But I’m thankful for Bernice King lending some of her own:
“There is hope. We have yet to engage as fully as we can. And there are people remaining to be won over to the cause.
I know it looks bleak, but lift your heads, spread ways to help, and keep the faith.”
2021 Memorable Meals
A while back I decided I would keep tabs on my most memorable meals over the course of a year. What makes a meal memorable is widely subjective and inconsistent… and that’s the great part.
Sometimes a meal is memorable because the food is incredible, like the hamachi I had in Phoenix. Sometimes, it’s that, plus the restaurant brings the meal to life. I still think back to the Napoleon House in New Orleans as one of those places with the perfect vibe. But other times, an amazing meal can come out of somewhere unexpected- like a drive-thru burger stand in Forks, WA.
Sometimes I love the creativity and cleverness of the eating experience itself, then again, it’s sometimes not even about the food really. A night featuring a ridiculous conversation with some friends you can totally lose yourself with also qualifies.
For me, there’s nothing quite like the stuff I get served by local communities and families while traveling. It’s impossible to not receive that much generosity and hospitality without being changed in some way. A whole community had the feast they’ve been waiting two years to throw on the day I came to visit?? That doesn’t seem right. And deep down, it’s easy to think that the sacrifices you know about will lead you to exaggerate the quality of the food a little, except then you try it and it really is objectively one of the tastiest things you’ve tried. And you know that everything from the food itself to the moment that surrounds you as you eat it can’t really be recreated.
Dreaming Is...
I’ve got to be honest about it: that was a pretty crappy start to the year.
Expectations were set low. I thought this year could be fun, but I knew that the hello-two-newborns thing would make for a more subdued, less restful January. So I went in with more measured anticipation.
New Year’s Day, Rhys gets daycare exposure to the ‘cron. He and I get sniffly and I figure we have it. But as it turns out, we keep testing negative so he must’ve brought home some other rhinovirus instead. Why be mainstream when there are more indie viruses out there?
Either way, it was still a miserable cold. Made worse by the fact that we got a week and a half with no daycare or grandparent help. Just trying to recover while juggling the three niños.
In spite of all that, I’m still really excited about the year ahead.
There’s this huge anti-goals, anti-resolution sentiment going around, and I totally get it. Resolutions have been sold to us as effort-based promises to better things by bettering ourselves. It’s so intertwined with hustle culture and I fully support everyone who decides they aren’t playing that game anymore.
But also, it’s clear that these are the sentiments of a traumatized world.
When people experience traumas, especially childhood traumas, one of the first things to go is one’s creativity and ability to dream. Kids are natural at dreaming up different worlds and futures. Unless trauma and instability get introduced.
Dreaming is healing and reclaiming.
I’ve always been a New Years guy. I love having a blank slate to project dreams on. I love wondering about the next chapter’s adventures. And I love what the word resolution really means. Not some behavioral change, but literal resolve. The determination to stick with your North Star.
This year I want to breathe easily out of both nostrils. I want to become a regular at my favorite coffee shop. I want to get one kid potty trained. I want to do deep dives into the works of bell hooks, Jesmyn Ward, and Hayao Miyazaki. I want to travel. Slowly. I want to spend a good chunk of time in Europe and Africa. I want the year to pass slowly and I want it to be the kind of year where passing slowly is a good thing.
Family Matters
New year, new babies… time to update the family theme song. I always thought Family Matters went the hardest with their opener.
This was actually the result of not having a whole lot to film during a two week quarantine. Speaking of openers, on New Years Day we learned Rhys (and thus all of us) were ‘rona exposed last week. We still don’t have test results, and it’s tough to separate a symptom from newborn-induced sleep deprivation, but since Omarion gets around as easy as Beignet’s hair… I’m assuming it’s here. Mildly. Thanks for the shots.
The harder blow was losing daycare and grandparent support for two weeks. I’d already been feeling the challenge of the three-under-three thing, which is why daycare was too tempting to pass up, even when I had a strong feeling that last week might’ve been a good one to sit out.
We’re now halfway through the two weeks and I’m pleasantly surprised with how we’ve made it work. I’ve gotten good moments with each of the kids, and in some ways I’m more at ease with three super-littles at home than I was before.
In spite of this, I still feel really good about this year in a way that kinda breaks logic.
January 2022
#1 Rhys Runner
01 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Here’s one way to start the year… with a COVID exposure notice from Rhys’ preschool. And a sniffly nose.
So far nothing beyond mild symptoms and everyone who can get vaccinations has the max amount possible, so I’m not especially worried- which feels kind of funny given how cautious we’ve been for two years. But we have good reason to be more reassured.
So this New Year starts with a quarantine that takes us into mid January and 18 straight days of taking care of three babies at home.
It’s funny cause I still feel pretty good about this year. Some new adventures seem likely. And of course, being a family of five. And I’m hoping it’s the case where we look back like, wow, it ended on a way different note from where it started.
Cause this is our starting note.
#2 Clean Corner
02 January 2022 // San Diego, California
A handful of random thoughts that came to mind when curating my list of 2021 favorites.
▶️ Derek Delgaudio’s heart-filled, philosophical magic show about identity was so wonderful. It came out so early in the year that I almost forgot to include it among 2021 things. About time to give it another view.
▶️ Included Minari on the movies list even though I think it would technically be a (2020) on the papers. This thing of releasing movies that might be the best of the year at the very end where nobody has a chance to see them except pro reviewers is a bit elitist, so now, if people can’t find your movie easily until 2022, you’re a 2022 film in my book.
▶️ Throughline got really good again this year. Loved that podcast a lot when it launched in 2015, but circa 2017, it started focusing on high level political themes that were already dominating airwaves. Love the return to their roots. Black History specials on Marcus Garvey, Octavia Butler, and Banyard Rustin nailed it. Filipino nurses. Tenochitlan. The history of Afghanistan.
▶️ Pretend I didn’t forget Jelani Aryeh’s album on that list. After picking two of his songs I thought he was already there.
▶️ I only highlight shows once and Ted Lasso was already a favorite from last year, but if they keep making episodes like the Rick Astley funeral one, episodes just might have to become a category.
#3 Goodnight Moon
03 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Y’all don’t have to quote tweet problematic politicians, shock jocks, etc. to argue a better point.
The amount of people who believe an idea is proportionate to the amount of times it’s repeated.
#4 Sweet J Sweet
04 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Betty White’s getting much deserved love and I gotta note, it really is nice to watch somebody who knows how to simply enjoy being who they are.
Self awareness, good humor, but a sense to do what’s right. Put it together and it’s a pretty fantastic life.
#5 Tummy Time
05 January 2022 // San Diego, California
It’s not getting enough buzz, so lemme do my part to talk about how good Swan Song is.
If you are roughly my age and have similar tastes, Eternal Sunshine likely rocked your world for good in the early 00s.
This hits those same heart muscles.
An even better comp in terms of emotions and plot is Never Let Me Go, which also happens to be one of my favorite novels ever.
#6 Quarantine Week
06 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Tribalism is a ridiculously powerful force.
Working in marketing shows you that people make decisions based on identity.
The need to belong blows our other reasoning skills and motivation out of the water.
The past two years have been such a live demo.
It doesn’t happen with everybody.
It doesn’t happen easily.
But it happens.
Sometimes watering the seeds of a different story actually goes somewhere.
Folks with an extremely tribal view of the world have come to anticipate caricatures out of people from outside their group. Always happy to subvert those expectations.
#7 Jump Shot
07 January 2022 // San Diego, California
New year, new babies… time to update the family theme song. I always thought Family Matters went the hardest with their opener.
This was actually the result of not having a whole lot to film during a two week quarantine. Speaking of openers, on New Years Day we learned Rhys (and thus all of us) were ‘rona exposed last week. We still don’t have test results, and it’s tough to separate a symptom from newborn-induced sleep deprivation, but since Omarion gets around as easy as Beignet’s hair… I’m assuming it’s here. Mildly. Thanks for the shots.
The harder blow was losing daycare and grandparent support for two weeks. I’d already been feeling the challenge of the three-under-three thing, which is why daycare was too tempting to pass up, even when I had a strong feeling that last week might’ve been a good one to sit out.
We’re now halfway through the two weeks and I’m pleasantly surprised with how we’ve made it work. I’ve gotten good moments with each of the kids, and in some ways I’m more at ease with three super-littles at home than I was before.
In spite of this, I still feel really good about this year in a way that kinda breaks logic.
#8 Gumtree Grooves
08 January 2022 // San Diego, California
2022 goals all set up.
START
Practicing improv again
Taking Rhys out on special weekly outings
Becoming a regular at a local venue
STOP
Getting fast food too often (1x month; 2 if traveling)
Eating meat on Wednesday
Using Amazon too much (3x limit per month)
VISIT
Alaska
A surprise location with Daniel
Somewhere abroad with the family
LEARN
Writing skills from three Skillshare courses
How to prepare a will
Improving camera presence w/ impromptu recordings 4x a week
MAKE
50 digital drawings
A Filipinos-in-Space art show
A sustainability TikTok channel
READ
3 bell hooks books
3 Jesmyn Ward books
A fantasy series written from a non Western POV
WATCH
The World Cup
6 Studio Ghibli movies
Movies/Shows from 9 different countries
TRY
Climbing 3 Mountains
Getting a Filipino tattoo
Spearfishing
#9 Bubs’ Life Now
09 January 2022 // San Diego, California
I’ve been drawing up a storm lately and loving it. And here’s a new piece I’ve kicked up inspired by my love of baseball and taking things internationally…
Sadaharu Oh.
I remember being really impressed as a kid when I found out there was someone who hit more home runs than Hank Aaron. A lot more. That piqued my interest in Japanese baseball which would only be validated a few years later when Ichiro came to the big leagues.
Not only was Sadaharu legend, but he took a distinctly East Asian approach to the game. His mental game was all about zen. He applied aikido to his swing- the art of redirecting momentum to deal with the pitches thrown to him. He ended up forming a lifelong friendship with Hank Aaron after the two of them met the demand to face each other in a home run derby.
There’s more to baseball than the MLB. One of the most fun sporting events I’ve ever been to was a Korean (KBO) baseball game… with cheerleaders, fast paced play, and parodies of pop songs for every player.
I think a gold tier bucket listy thing for me would be seeing a live game in every country that has a robust baseball league- Mexico, Japan, Korea, and the Dominican, followed by Cuba, Venezuela, Taiwan, and maybe even Australia and the Netherlands.
#10 Tree Recycling
10 January 2022 // San Diego, California
One of my goals last year (and again this year) was to donate over 1,000 trees to be planted.
My tips?
Tree planting can double as community development
Make sure locals are leading efforts
Make sure the org prioritizes whole ecosystem health over sexy numbers
#11 The Banyonplex
11 January 2022 // San Diego, California
I’ve got to be honest about it: that was a pretty crappy start to the year.
Expectations were set low. I thought this year could be fun, but I knew that the hello-two-newborns thing would make for a more subdued, less restful January. So I went in with more measured anticipation.
New Year’s Day, Rhys gets daycare exposure to the ‘cron. He and I get sniffly and I figure we have it. But as it turns out, we keep testing negative so he must’ve brought home some other rhinovirus instead. Why be mainstream when there are more indie viruses out there?
Either way, it was still a miserable cold. Made worse by the fact that we got a week and a half with no daycare or grandparent help. Just trying to recover while juggling the three niños.
In spite of all that, I’m still really excited about the year ahead.
There’s this huge anti-goals, anti-resolution sentiment going around, and I totally get it. Resolutions have been sold to us as effort-based promises to better things by bettering ourselves. It’s so intertwined with hustle culture and I fully support everyone who decides they aren’t playing that game anymore.
But also, it’s clear that these are the sentiments of a traumatized world.
When people experience traumas, especially childhood traumas, one of the first things to go is one’s creativity and ability to dream. Kids are natural at dreaming up different worlds and futures. Unless trauma and instability get introduced.
Dreaming is healing and reclaiming.
I’ve always been a New Years guy. I love having a blank slate to project dreams on. I love wondering about the next chapter’s adventures. And I love what the word resolution really means. Not some behavioral change, but literal resolve. The determination to stick with your North Star.
This year I want to breathe easily out of both nostrils. I want to become a regular at my favorite coffee shop. I want to get one kid potty trained. I want to do deep dives into the works of bell hooks, Jesmyn Ward, and Hayao Miyazaki. I want to travel. Slowly. I want to spend a good chunk of time in Europe and Africa. I want the year to pass slowly and I want it to be the kind of year where passing slowly is a good thing.
#12 Navigating the Forest
12 January 2022 // Escondido, California
Anger doesn’t show strength. But it isn’t a weakness either.
I see anger differently. It’s an emotion that isn’t supposed to be impressive/unimpressive. It signals to us our sense of right has been violated.
Lashing out at others or throwing a tantrum is often a mistake, at least usually. But the emotion beneath is just a human experience
#13 Rhys at Hoyt
13 January 2022 // San Diego, California
A while back I decided I would keep tabs on my most memorable meals over the course of a year. What makes a meal memorable is widely subjective and inconsistent… and that’s the great part.
Sometimes a meal is memorable because the food is incredible, like the hamachi I had in Phoenix. Sometimes, it’s that, plus the restaurant brings the meal to life. I still think back to the Napoleon House in New Orleans as one of those places with the perfect vibe. But other times, an amazing meal can come out of somewhere unexpected- like a drive-thru burger stand in Forks, WA.
Sometimes I love the creativity and cleverness of the eating experience itself, then again, it’s sometimes not even about the food really. A night featuring a ridiculous conversation with some friends you can totally lose yourself with also qualifies.
For me, there’s nothing quite like the stuff I get served by local communities and families while traveling. It’s impossible to not receive that much generosity and hospitality without being changed in some way. A whole community had the feast they’ve been waiting two years to throw on the day I came to visit?? That doesn’t seem right. And deep down, it’s easy to think that the sacrifices you know about will lead you to exaggerate the quality of the food a little, except then you try it and it really is objectively one of the tastiest things you’ve tried. And you know that everything from the food itself to the moment that surrounds you as you eat it can’t really be recreated.
#14 Manzanita Counter
14 January 2022 // San Diego, California
I’ve been posting a lot of my favorite things I’ve been watching lately, and so it’s likely you’ve seen me name drop Maya and the Three. But I’ve been holding back on getting too into it.
Until now.
If you’re at all interested in the precolonial Americas, especially the legends and beliefs of Aztec and Mayan civilizations, you’ll love the playful way they’re deployed in this adventure.
If you’re an animation fan, I’ve got to highlight the bold, Mayan-codex-meets-comic-book visuals all throughout. Into The Spiderverse is a fair comparison.
If you want a representation win, I’ve got to note how pleased I was to see the Afro-Latino/Caribbean world incorporated… and through one of my favorite characters.
I’ve got to highlight the fact that I love the way this story explored the big theme of death and adventure- not as something stigmatized, but as something that gives the story it’s meaning. A more Mexican perspective I’ve grown to appreciate.
Here’s my deep dive into some of the Mesoamerican roots of Maya and the Three- I loved doing these videos for Raya, and now Maya. Hopefully we keep getting more stories richly immersed in real world cultures.
#15 Super Rainbow
15 January 2022 // San Diego, California
I just jumped on the My Three Lives thing happening on TikTok. My three lives? The best categories I can think of are my life as a traveler, as a climate storyteller, and as a dad of three.
TBH this felt like a brag reel to make but the My Three Lives trend is a good way to give a quick preview about what to expect from me online (plus some digital drawings and very Asian things)… and I’ve never been good at explaining that succinctly.
#16 Night Roads
16 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Anyone else have their year start off pretty crappily but believe deep down that it’s still gonna be a good year by the end? Here’s to that stubborn optimism.
#17 High Swing
17 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Happy MLK Day… kind of.
In case you missed it, Martin Luther King’s family has asked for no celebrations of MLK Day until action has been taken to protect voting rights.
As of now, none has been taken.
Does it feel weird, and maybe even jarring to be told not to celebrate someone for whom our society has developed a deep respect and reverence?
Well, true disrespect and irreverence comes in the form of erasing some of the hard earned liberties he and others gave their lives fighting for. Especially voting rights. Over the past decade- and in particular the past few months- a number of laws have been passed, mostly at the state level, stripping voting access and strength away from communities of color.
Gerrymandering, closing polling sites in Black & Brown neighborhoods, dividing a district to fracture the power of a community, and outlawing practices that are hallmarks of voter efforts in communities of color are all voter suppression.
Win by making an impact. Not by curating your poll numbers.
Personally, I don’t have a whole lot of confidence on the immediate horizon. But I’m thankful for Bernice King lending some of her own:
“There is hope. We have yet to engage as fully as we can. And there are people remaining to be won over to the cause.
I know it looks bleak, but lift your heads, spread ways to help, and keep the faith.”
#18 Best Books of 2021
18 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Loved the books I read last year. Especially all the good climate and nature books.
Probably aiming to scale this a back this year… and not just cause of the kids. I’m always torn between wanting to read a bit slower to take it all in and feeling restless with how many good books are out there and the pace I would actually need to read to get through them all in my life.
But also, yeah, the kids.
Last year’s batch, though, that was a good mix!
#19 Climate and Stories
19 January 2022 // San Diego, California
So, decades ago, people discovered a bunch of ancient papers in the city of Novgorod, Russia. They included shopping lists, business records, prayers, spells, school exercises from 700-800 years ago. And a collection of drawings by a boy named Onfim.
Most of his drawings were on the back of his schoolwork. Like one that starts with the alphabet and ends with a picture of him on horseback, impaling an enemy with a spear. One starts off with the alphabet but ends with a note that says, I am a wild beast. And a drawing of said wild beast. In one he copies scripture… then draws people with pitchfork hands.
I think I’m loving this discovery because it reminds me that kids’ imaginations are somewhat universal. And it makes me think that our scrap paper today, may be somebody’s interesting artifact tomorrow.
#20 Juniper Outside
20 January 2022 // San Diego, California
These days, Bluey is big in our house.
If you’re a bit more distant from the world of cartoon dogs, Bluey is a series of eight-minute episodes featuring a family of heeler dogs. The show is made in Australia, all written by one guy, apparently. Two seasons have made their way to the U.S. via Disney+, and we’re eagerly awaiting the third.
A few things about Bluey stand out. First, the way the show depicts the way the two sisters play together with make-believe is spot-on. Second, the parents are somehow both realistic and aspirational. Mom and dad are relatable and slip in side commentary clearly meant for viewing parents. At the same time, they are both great parents who own their errors and play with their kids constructively. My theory is that Bluey’s dad was created to give Australian dad’s a role model of sorts without realizing it, as they watch along with their kids.
While the show is generally pretty lighthearted, there is about one in every five episodes that has the potential to make you cry.
The most recent example was when Bluey and her younger sister Bingo pretend to be different animals living in the packaging of some furniture their parents are building. As they go from being fish to lizards to primates, Bingo also goes from being a baby to a toddler to a teenager to growing up and going to space.
To spoil the ending, an empty-nester Bluey wonders what happens next, when mom and dad invite her to sit where they’ve been watching the kids play. “This is Heaven,” says dad, which can be taken so many ways.
This is really good?
Your kids grow up and then you die and you watch them from above smiling?
This is what God’s P.O.V. is like watching humanity evolve and do its thing?
All of the above?
#21 Twin Cart
21 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Nuanced topic time. HUMILITY.
I’ve always found humility to be such a beautiful trait. It seems like I’m stating the obvious, but in reality, people are actually more comforted by projections of confidence and people who double down on what they’ve said and done. Those personas tend to attract the crowd.
I’ve never thought of humility as a strength of mine, though anybody who does think they’re good at it has to swallow a good deal of irony. I do know that I value humility enough to really enjoy the presence of truly humble leaders. The ones who prefer to lead by example, who can own an apology. I love working with them. Learning from them. In many ways trying to emulate them.
That’s taught me a couple big things.
💠There are a lot of things that masquerade as humility, a big one being self-deprecation. It can be easy to fake your way into being seen as humble by acting like your own worst critic, but that usually comes from the same wounded ego that births arrogance. It also comes from this weird zero-sum myth that in order to value others, we can’t also recognize our own value.
Sometimes, the people who’ve gotten used to the self-deprecating imitation of humility can be the hardest to work and live with. There’s a wounded ego and a fluency in manipulation.
💠 When Naomi Osaka wrote a reflection on her tennis career last year, she noted that she was often praised for being humble, when really people were seeing a lot of self doubt.
The rules are different for different people. Most of the people I thought of as my role models of humility were older white men. It’s easy for their silence to be seen as humility, while for women, POC, or other underestimated groups, silence may be mistaken as not having anything to contribute.
Sometimes being quiet and blending into the background can be more self serving than anything. Sometimes taking up space can open doors for others. The real question is: is this ultimately about you?
💮💮💮
I think I value humility more than I ever have, but I’ve come to appreciate that it takes way more forms than I initially realized.
#22 VIP Blend
22 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Station Eleven was so good in so many ways. Seems like ill timing for a pandemic story but it was actually perfect. Here’s what did it for me:
• Small acts of good still remaking the world even when it all seems out of control.
• Art and community help you begin again.
#23 Playing with Zara & Ollie
23 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Working in the nonprofit, help-people, protect-the-planet world, you discover a lot of cool organizations working parallel to yours. And you learn from each other and evolve in tandem, because, we’re all ultimately working towards the same big picture. Love. Justice. Sustainability.
About a month ago, some stuff came out about an org I really looked up to. Some not-good stuff, about a toxic workplace and harmful leadership. And part of what was so jarring was that the organization’s messaging was always so good, but what was going on behind the scenes was totally out of sync.
It was surprising, but at the same time, this keeps happening. I feel like a couple times each year I learn of a couple more respected organizations losing trust, and it’s the same thing over and over: toxic leadership/culture or abusive behavior from a founder. And this exists in a lot of other places than the nonprofit world. But why? Especially when the culpable parties are so good at saying the right thing, you’d think they’d know better?
I still find it puzzling, but I think the observation I keep coming back to is that ego tanks charity. Not just charity as in charity organization, but charity as in love.
Do a good thing long enough, and you might get noticed. You become the face of a movement. And if you’re not careful, it can be difficult to separate a threat to justice from a threat to your ego. That’s not good.
I don’t think having a public presence always needs to lead to this, but I don’t want to pretend I’m immune. I absolutely love what I get to do, and I think it matters. But the past couple years have to not let that be a stand in for my identity. Sometimes it’s harder to have that healthy boundary when you really do love what you do.
I’ve been working on those boundaries and funny enough I’ve been loving the work more as a result. I’ve tried to break the American habit of using my profession to introduce myself. I make sure I talk about a balance of things. I’ve tried making sure my pursuits of justice and sustainability aren’t limited to the working hours.
You matter. Your work matters. And they both matter too much to mistake one for the other.
#24 Kimchi Tofu Stew
24 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Honestly, baseball’s Hall of Fame system is kind of a joke. HR king, hit king, top five pitcher absent? Lincecum out that soon?
I think we should do a Michelin star thing instead:
4 stars - Aaron, Mays, Bonds
3 stars - Schmidt, Feller
2 stars - Jeter, Ozzie
1 stars - Lincecum, Raines
#25 Smiley Kai
25 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Over the past few months, I’ve gotten a lot of joy from seeing and being around people I know. I can remember virtually every interaction. I get a warmth from people’s presence.
There are a lot of reasonable explanations. The social isolation from a pandemic. The social isolation from having a pair of two-month-olds. But one I especially appreciate is one I barely understand.
There’s a lot of science behind the idea that people “rub off on you”
Really fascinating stuff happens when you know somebody. When you spend time with them. How their voice, their features, their mannerisms and habits imprint on your brain to the point where it’s almost like a copy of them is stored there. That’s why in someone’s absence you can conjure up things in their voice, you can know what that person would’ve said.
The idea that people can live on through our kindness, through our embodiment of their best traits… it’s more than just sentiment.
I know a lot of us are feeling somebody’s absence in our lives. I’ve been thinking of a friend I lost this week, but also of how much simple joy she found in being around others. Something I’ve felt a lot more myself in the past few months.
It reminds me of something Thich Naht Hahn said, in anticipation of his death.
“Tomorrow, I will continue to be. But you will have to be very attentive to see me. I will be a flower, or a leaf. I will be in these forms and I will say hello to you. If you are attentive enough, you will recognize me, and you may greet me. I will be very happy.”
#26 sTUFF ON MY dESK
26 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Remembering a great friend list a year ago today.
Simultaneously sad and thankful and feeling truly better for her traits that rubbed off.
“Sustained grief is particularly disturbing in a culture that offers a quick fix for any pain.”
–bell hooks
#27 dRAWING tABLET
27 January 2022 // San Diego, California
I love learning about obscure stuff in passing that ends up feeling sentimental for reasons I can’t explain. Today’s entry? A schoolboy’s drawings from the back of his homework from medieval Russia.
So, decades ago, people discovered a bunch of ancient papers in the city of Novgorod, Russia. They included shopping lists, business records, prayers, spells, school exercises from 700-800 years ago. And a collection of drawings by a boy named Onfim.
Most of his drawings were on the back of his schoolwork. Like one that starts with the alphabet and ends with a picture of him on horseback, impaling an enemy with a spear. He copies scripture… then draws people with pitchfork hands.
I think I’m loving this discovery because it reminds me that kids’ imaginations are somewhat universal. And it makes me think that our scrap paper today, may be somebody’s interesting artifact tomorrow.
#28 tAM vN
28 January 2022 // San Diego, California
A federal court just revoked some serious oil and gas leases.
It’s always weird when a win this big seems to come out of the blue but we’ll take it.
(Not really out of the blue, it’s thanks to a lot of hard work from those who pushed for it)
#29 dON lORENZO
29 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Bought some plane tickets yesterday for the first time in a while, and started planning another trip.
Both adventures are still a little ways out, but it felt so good to start getting them on the calendar again.
#30 VINH HUNG
30 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Two newborns and a two year old… this was the day I needed this tweet man.
When the tangled, boisterous, sounds of our children are gone temporarily, it’s often a relief. But I can already feel that when time removes them permanently, I will remember these days with fondness and will experience some corner of the fresh silence as a loss.
#31 bEDTIME procrastination
31 January 2022 // San Diego, California
Nonprofits are a whole world, and its wild to think I’ve spent the past ten years working in, with, and around nonprofits.
Its not at all a perfect sector. One perspective out there is that nonprofits exist because of various failures of society. And as we learn new things and the world changes rapidly, the nonprofit space can get very complicated very quickly.
These complexities can be frustrating when you just want to simply do something good, but I’ve learned that each one is a teacher and even a decade into this, I’ve got a lot to learn. At the end of the day, my experiences with nonprofits have helped remind me of all the good in the world, and have helped introduce me to some people I love and admire. But that isn’t always everyone’s experience.
I made this video for those who care about things and discover cool organizations and know they should do some homework before donating, but might not really know where to get started.
2021 Moments
This was one of the most complex years of my life to reflect on, because it was so full of paradoxes and contradictions.
I’m proud of my creative work. A bit disappointed in my modest travels.
From personal experiences to pop culture, grief seemed like a recurring motif.
But two of the people I love most in the world just showed up towards the end of it in the form of newborn twins.
Big losses. New life. Beautiful moments. Frustrating roadblocks.
All while sort of being trapped in some liminal space of not-quite-lockdown but not exactly an open road, either.
Maybe that’s what getting older and more mature looks like. The years are less black-and-white, good-or-bad and all a symphony of contrasts. Or, maybe, 2021 really was just a wild card.
Either way, I’m thankful for it- both the parts that arrived with absolute clarity and the parts that won’t make sense for years, if ever.
And I’m so thankful to have you as a part of it.
It's Not Christmas
Definitely didn’t send anybody cards this year. Made this for you all instead. Hope it’s been a great Christmas!
All The World
Happy jolbokaflod to all those who’ve adopted Iceland’s practice of exchanging books on Christmas Eve and spending the night reading. I’m hoping to do a good bit of that since it’s coming down to the wire for me to finish my 2021 reading stack.
One thing I like doing with books, movies, and different pieces of art I enjoy is looking for connective threads that seem to tie them all together, even though they seem to have little in common. One theme that always seems to do it for me is that I love stories that remind me how vast and full of possibility life really is, whether those are movies like Boyhood or Soul, books like Pachinko, shows like Parts Unknown, or improvisational jazz. Or that podcast episode I named Juniper after.
There are a few books in Rhys’ stash that seem to fit that theme too- though perhaps none more so than All The World, which visually follows a large, culturally blended family throughout a day of beaching, going to the farmer’s market, taking shelter from the rain in a cafe, and making a big meal together. The message that the world is big and small, me and you- encompassing everything and yet somehow strangely intimate just matches the way I see things.
According to the sticker on its cover, the book won some award for being this good, though I had never heard of it until we started building a little book collection for Rhys and now, Kai and Juniper.
Any other books- for littles or for grownups- that make you feel like the world is full of possibility?
90s Nostalgia for Breakfast
While it’s been a really tough time for restaurants, I am truly impressed with the creativity of all the pop ups I’ve seen lately, and Freshman Year SD is probably a prime example.
This place is dripping in 90s nostalgia. The menu screams fun, and new items constantly rotate in and out with proven favorites.
My favorite part is the fact that the food is based on pre-orders, allowing the ingredients to be bought late in the week from local farmers. Buying a much more precise amount keeps food waste to a minimum.
Oh, and I guess it’s important to mention that the food is absurdly good. Whenever I think I’m ordering too much, I end up not regretting it once the food arrives.
Do you have a favorite pop up that’s started in the past few months?
Creativity Starts With Curiosity
Let’s split a kakigori and chat about creativity.
Creativity starts with curiosity.
I think it’s easy for us to think of creativity as a personality trait where people simply have a plethora of novel, clever ideas inside them at all times.
I actually think creativity isn’t so much about the answers inside of you, but the questions.
It’s about getting comfortable with the things you don’t know, whether it’s some scientific phenomenon or a personal experience that left you wondering what it all really meant. It’s about being able to explore that mystery with playfulness, honestly, and a sensitivity to all the ways that’ll impact you.
Want to be more creative? Let yourself be little more curious.
Life With The Twins
If you see photos of the family and one of the kids isn’t in it, it’s not like a fourth Jonas Brother situation… it’s just freaking tough to get us all in the same frame. Though Beignet would be JoBro No. 4 fo sho.
So far, having three way under three has lived up to the looks I get whenever I tell people I meet about all the kids I’m living with. Doing the newborn thing with Rhys feels like such a breeze in comparison. And it doesn’t help that I came down with a pretty bad head cold on our first week of being home after one really bad night’s sleep- I haven’t really been sick in years, so the timing of this is just incredible.
One of the biggest tensions in my life over the past couple of years has been the gap between my usual appetite for adventure and the fact that I don’t leave my house a whole lot these days. But I guess when it comes to it, adventure is less about leaving a physical place and more about leaving ones comfort zone behind for something better. In that case, that comfort zone has been long obliterated.
The Twins Come Home
Feeling like the last week has been a roller coaster, but accepting that the roller coaster goes on for the rest of our lives and is a really beautiful ride.
December 2021
#335 Juniper’s First Bath
01 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Overheard several times in the delivery room yesterday:
“There’s a lot of baby in there!”
Kai’s pretty much the same size as Rhys at birth, and Deanna managed to fit a whole other kid in there.
Juniper & Kai were born at 38 weeks and a day. When I found out we were having twins, I figured they’d come way early. I started clearing my calendar as early as October.
Of course, they’re better off having spent more time inside, but that was quite the feat for Deanna.
#336 Big Bro
02 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Today we went home to rejoin Rhys in full big brother mode.
Nothing like bringing home newborns to make your firstborn feel HUMONGOUS.
#337 Clek Combo
02 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Deanna loved the name Kai for a long time. I always thought Kai sounded like a good name for a super-chill guy who loves going barefoot, so I was cool with it. Then I learned a bit about what it meant.
In Hawaiian it means ocean. The memory of a dear friend who loved the ocean kind of sealed the deal for me.
Kai is apparently a pretty multicultural name and seems to mean a lot of things in a lot of languages- in Welsh, which is where Rhys’ name has roots, it means ‘Keeper of the Keys’ which has a cool adventurey ring to it. It means fire in Scottish, and food in Māori.
In Japanese it means shell, but also open and restore-two values I hold pretty sacred.
Kai’s middle name, Noam, is a masculine variation of my mom’s name, Naomi, which means pleasant.
I thought Kai’s mural should definitely incorporate some ocean elements, and since he has island heritage, I had a lot to work with! Bonus fact: Deanna made me redo the Philippine Eagle since she thought my first take looked too much like a creepy plague doctor in a Venetian beak-mask.
#338 This Big Brother
04 December 2021 // San Diego, California
While having newborns makes it hard to get anything done, there’s one big exception to that rule… it’s an excellent time for binge watching shows and movies. Here’s my paternity leave watchlist:
The Rescue
14 Peaks
Don’t Look Up
My Neighbor Totoro
The Flight Attendant
Psych
8 Bit Christmas
Money Heist
Spirited Away
Shrill
Hanna
Boogie
Found
Ingrid Goes West
Green Snake
Howl’s Moving Castle
Barry
Little Fires Everywhere
Neh
Barry
#339 Juniper Hangtime
05 December 2021 // San Diego, California
I thought my drive to my kid’s preschool was taking a bit longer… this 15m trip took an hour. And the problem is all over the whole city.
Glad that San Diego has been putting more into public transport lately, but we are so far behind the 8-ball.
#340 Sneaking rest
06 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Juniper was named after a tree and a podcast.
You didn’t think I’d have three kids without at least one of them getting an arboreal name, right? And junipers are pretty great, especially high desert junipers. I love their propensity to fight to grow upwards; even if erosion greatly shifts their base, they’ll manage to course correct and find their way upright.
But let me tell you about the podcast. In my opinion, an episode of Radiolab called “23 Weeks, 6 Days” is the best example of storytelling ever done via podcast.
It tells the story of a girl named Juniper who was born very, very, very premature. As the name suggests she was born right at the cutoff of what’s considered viable. And she and her parents had to fight- through holes in organs, six months in the NICU, extended times with limited responsiveness, and a major surgery performed on a one-pound baby.
I love all the ways that episode shows her parents going to bat for her. And a rerelease of the episode ended with the reporters spending time with her at age 4. It was a simple scene of her playing at home, but her dad explained simply “after you’ve been through what we went through, everything happened in those couple of hours.”
“The entire world was contained inside that morning. And all of the blank chapters of her life were inside that morning waiting to be written.”
That changed the way I look at every single moment. They all contain possibility as long as we’re here breathing.
•••
Juniper’s middle name is Phileena. At first glance it looks like a portmanteau of Philippe and Deanna, but that was a total coincidence and not what we were going for. Though, Filipinos do love a good (and sometimes not always good) mommy-daddy name mashup.
Phileena is an Anglicized, feminine version of my dad’s name, Felino. He passed away when I was five. Now he’s a grandpa to three.
#341 Together the Twins
07 December 2021 // San Diego, California
As a student, I would drive between my university town of Santa Barbara and my family’s home in San Diego regularly, usually at the beginning and end of each term, as they were punctuated by breaks and holidays.
When I mentally recreate the inside of the 2002 Toyota Avalon I drove, the burned mix CDs I inserted into the deck, and the knowledge that the big dark expanse over my shoulder was actually the Pacific Ocean… all the feelings come rushing back.
I think of M83 and of Montreal playing on those mixtapes, among other bands that felt like new discoveries. I recall the taste of a red velvet flavored hot cocoa from Coffee Bean… a frequent treat I’d pick up as a roadside companion. The darkness of the road at night felt centering, like a suggestion that all I could not see was really there- like all the dreams I had for each semester I faced. The people I had just met who might turn into lifelong friends. The girls I started talking to who seemed to take an interest in whatever I was saying. The places I might go. Service trips, study abroad, the anticipation. The big steps taken towards some ambiguous but lofty seeming future. The vast freedom and excitement of a night out in my college town with a big party school. Cheap vodka spilled on floors and Kid Cudi blaring through walls. The record store downtown. The vintage store next to it. Picking up new clothes to build a new look, not so much to impress but to be a little bit more of yourself. Santa Barbara, ‘08, baby.
Whenever I pull all these little sensory bits out of the closets of my memory, I’m almost overwhelmed with love for those moments. It’s gratitude and nostalgia mixed with a little wonder about what exactly makes that season of my life such a magical one.
I think it has to do with what I saw in the darkness.
Possibility.
#342 Do What You Love
08 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Feeling like the last week has been a roller coaster, but accepting that the roller coaster goes on for the rest of our lives and is a really beautiful ride.
#343 tREE fIELD tRIP
09 December 2021 // El Cajon, California
There’s a line in Sam Sparro’s song Black and Gold: “If vision is the only validation, then most of my life isn’t real.”
I feel that.
I think about the way I felt when my kids were born. I think about the way I feel when I’m exploring modern life in an ancient city. I remember walking out of the theatre after a stirring film.
Life is full of stuff that we can’t exactly see, quantify, or observe, but when we get down to it, these are the parts of our lives we treasure the most. We can’t even really describe these experiences. In these examples, I did my best, all while recognizing that words have their limits.
#344 Rhys and the Lights
10 December 2021 // San Diego, California
I think it’s easy for us to think of creativity as a personality trait where people simply have a plethora of novel, clever ideas inside them at all times.
I actually think creativity isn’t so much about the answers inside of you, but the questions.
It’s about getting comfortable with the things you don’t know, whether it’s some scientific phenomenon or a personal experience that left you wondering what it all really meant. It’s about being able to explore that mystery with playfulness, honestly, and a sensitivity to all the ways that’ll impact you.
#345 Freshman Year matcha
11 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Being curious isn’t something you need to learn… kids are the most curious of all. You just gotta find your way back.
Adults tend to research stuff to prove a point, where as kids do so out of pure curiosity. Free yourself from having to be an expert on everything.
Being too busy prevents you from noticing, which is step one from curiosity. Stay away from hustle culture.
Trauma also damages curiosity. I am so sorry if that has happened to you in a severe way, but it is so worth it to invest in what it takes to heal.
#346 Juniper Mat tIME
12 December 2021 // San Diego, California
If you see photos of the family and one of the kids isn’t in it, it’s not like a fourth Jonas Brother situation… it’s just freaking tough to get us all in the same frame. Though Beignet would be JoBro No. 4 fo sho.
So far, having three way under three has lived up to the looks I get whenever I tell people I meet about all the kids I’m living with. Doing the newborn thing with Rhys feels like such a breeze in comparison. And it doesn’t help that I came down with a pretty bad head cold on our first week of being home after one really bad night’s sleep- I haven’t really been sick in years, so the timing of this is just incredible.
One of the biggest tensions in my life over the past couple of years has been the gap between my usual appetite for adventure and the fact that I don’t leave my house a whole lot these days. But I guess when it comes to it, adventure is less about leaving a physical place and more about leaving ones comfort zone behind for something better. In that case, that comfort zone has been long obliterated.
#347 gAGLIONE coUNTER
13 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Ugh- glad I don’t get sick like this very often, but really wish this head cold didn’t find me right in the middle of parental leave while the twins are learning how to sleep.
#348 bARELY hOLDING on
14 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Nice new Chance the Rapper mint flavor, Ben & Jerry’s… now here’s your friendly reminder that 10 years ago I slid a little note into your suggestion box for Jack Johnson’s Banana Pancakes.
Is the reference a bit more dated now? Maybe, but you’ve had 10 years. I think it sounds tasty.
#349 nOT lOVIN’ THE MAT
15 December 2021 // San Diego, California
People who haven’t had Covid.. what’s your secret?
Worried I’m gonna jinx it here, but privileged enough to have a WFH job and kept all my 2020 at home minus grocery runs and playground outings with my then 1yo. Since then, three shots to the arm, the priv of generally good immunity and checking local case rates like the weather.
#350 fIRST fAMILY poRTRAIT
16 December 2021 // San Diego, California
I’ve done so much thinking about creativity over the years. How do you even define creativity? How do you practice it.
Here’s one thought that I simply can’t shake.
Creativity starts with curiosity.
I think it’s easy for us to think of creativity as a personality trait where people simply have a plethora of novel, clever ideas inside them at all times.
I actually think creativity isn’t so much about the answers inside of you, but the questions.
It’s about getting comfortable with the things you don’t know, whether it’s some scientific phenomenon or a personal experience that left you wondering what it all really meant. It’s about being able to explore that mystery with playfulness, honestly, and a sensitivity to all the ways that’ll impact you.
Want to be more creative? Let yourself be little more curious.
#351 cIRCLE yeAR
17 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Preemptive Love has been one of my favorite orgs for a long time so their toxiscity is a gut punch, but I can sense it was still written from a place of hope that things could be different.
Thing is, when calls come from current and former employees… that’s a whistle that doesn’t get blown easily.
People don’t end up at orgs like PLC just for a job. It comes with big belief in the vision and a willingness to do more than what’s required. You know the local partners and the good parts, and weigh the costs of speaking up. You don’t unless you think there’s no better way.
#352 Twin Personalities
18 December 2021 // San Diego, California
While it’s been a really tough time for restaurants, I am truly impressed with the creativity of all the pop ups I’ve seen lately, and Freshman Year SD is probably a prime example.
This place is dripping in 90s nostalgia. The menu screams fun, and new items constantly rotate in and out with proven favorites.
My favorite part is the fact that the food is based on pre-orders, allowing the ingredients to be bought late in the week from local farmers. Buying a much more precise amount keeps food waste to a minimum.
Oh, and I guess it’s important to mention that the food is absurdly good. Whenever I think I’m ordering too much, I end up not regretting it once the food arrives.
Do you have a favorite pop up that’s started in the past few months?
#353 Juniper Thoughts
19 December 2021 // San Diego, California
While it’s been a frustrating year for those pursuing climate justice, there were also some key wins. Here are a few of my favorites:
• The StopCambo campaign successfully stopped Cambo
• There was that one week Shell took like three big Ls
• Exxon/Chevron stakeholders demanding emission cuts
• Founding of BOGO Alliance
• Debt for Nature swap in Belize
• Nebraska going clean energy
#354 Maya Commentary
20 December 2021 // San Diego, California
This week more than others makes humanity feel like a hot mess, then I remember it somehow succeeded at sparing me of Spider-Man spoilers. So we’re capable of some assignments
#355 Tummy Time Down
21 December 2021 // San Diego, California
“The moment we choose to love, we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love, we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. I believe whole-heartedly that the only way out of domination is love. And the only way into really being able to connect with others, and to know how to be, is to be participating in every aspect of your life as a sacrament of love."
There was no way I could choose just one bell hooks quote. But I love that in choosing several the throughline of love becomes so obvious.
I’m not gonna pretend to be extremely well versed in bell hooks’ writing. Still haven’t gotten to reading one of her books in full, yet, but that’s on the docket for 2022. But from every excerpt, her vision is so clear. Even if you haven’t read much of her work, she’s no doubt influenced the people who influence you.
Can’t wait to do my own deeper dive.
#356 jUNIPER, zARA, & iVY
22 December 2021 // San Diego, California
I can think of a few very important conversations I’ve had with friends that were prompted by the impact of Joan Didion’s writing.
Some days it feels like life requires a lot of conversations that make it feel like you’re talking to a brick wall. Other days you’re blessed by the memory of folks like Joan Didion and bell hooks who remind you that words can make a pretty big impact.
#357 thE aUNTS mEET tHE tWINS
23 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Molly Jong-Fast wrote a pretty good, timely, encouraging read in the Atlantic about why in spite of everything now, there’s still a case for hope.
Unfortunately, the Atlantic’s paywall glitched, preventing even paying subscribers from reading beyond the paywall which kicked in just before the article got to the hopeful part.
Something so ironic about that.
#358 jUNIPER ON cHRISTMAS eVE
24 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Happy jolbokaflod to all those who’ve adopted Iceland’s practice of exchanging books on Christmas Eve and spending the night reading. I’m hoping to do a good bit of that since it’s coming down to the wire for me to finish my 2021 reading stack.
One thing I like doing with books, movies, and different pieces of art I enjoy is looking for connective threads that seem to tie them all together, even though they seem to have little in common. One theme that always seems to do it for me is that I love stories that remind me how vast and full of possibility life really is, whether those are movies like Boyhood or Soul, books like Pachinko, shows like Parts Unknown, or improvisational jazz. Or that podcast episode I named Juniper after.
There are a few books in Rhys’ stash that seem to fit that theme too- though perhaps none more so than All The World, which visually follows a large, culturally blended family throughout a day of beaching, going to the farmer’s market, taking shelter from the rain in a cafe, and making a big meal together. The message that the world is big and small, me and you- encompassing everything and yet somehow strangely intimate just matches the way I see things.
According to the sticker on its cover, the book won some award for being this good, though I had never heard of it until we started building a little book collection for Rhys and now, Kai and Juniper.
Any other books- for littles or for grownups- that make you feel like the world is full of possibility?
#359 KAI & jUNIPER’S fiRST cHRISTMAS
25 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Definitely didn’t get to send out Christmas cards during our first year celebrating with three under three. But I did make a TikTok, so we’re good.
#360 Kai Guy
26 December 2021 // San Diego, California
“Do your little bit of good where you are. It’s those little bits of goodness put together that overwhelm the world.”
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Very few people have influenced my work for the better quite like Desmond Tutu. His Truth and Reconciliation work piqued my initial interest in South Africa, where I’d spent formative chapters of my twenties. His book No Future Without Forgiveness impacted my concept of mercy. His conversations about joy with the Dalai Lama helped articulate so many things I knew deep down.
His quote above on little bits of good has particularly been really encouraging over the past few years at points where it’s felt like the world has spun too far out of control for things to be better.
All the hallmarks of Tutu’s legacy: restoring relationships, being guided by an open minded faith, a sense of humor—are all a solid match for what I want out of my own life.
He stood up to some of the worst stuff humans are capable of- prejudice, apartheid, violence, and he laughed at it. Subversively. The smile rarely left his face in spite of it all, like he knew how things turn out in the end.
I’ve spent my whole career doing justice pursuits- for refugees, for true climate- and the gravity of it is often a funny contrast with the fact that I don’t like taking myself too seriously. I love Desmond Tutu’s example of a powerful, beautiful way to make that happen.
#361 Morning at Bird Rock
27 December 2021 // San Diego, California
My most unpopular pop culture opinions of 2021:
+ Couldn’t get into Succession
+ The slow pace of Invasion was the best thing about it
+ It was very easy to fall asleep to Loki
+ Enjoyed The Eternals
+ In The Heights is a climate change story
This one isn’t unpopular, but, I also think the folks panning Don’t Look Up and the people raving about it should spend some time talking to each other.
#362 The Stephens Visit
28 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Found the list of goals I made at the start of 2021. And I made them in neat detailed categories.
Let’s see how well I did…
Things to start:
✅ Planting >1,000 Trees (mostly via donation)
✅ Using Adobe AfterEffects to make animated maps/infographics
❌ Supporting Four Artists via Patreon (only got to 1)
Things to stop:
*️⃣ Making to-do lists (mostly)
*️⃣ Paying so much for housing (refinance)
(We refi’d, so yes. But then we moved to a more expensive place)
✅ Eating meat on Tuesday (in addition to Monday)
Places to visit:
✅ The Hoh Rainforest
❌ Alaska
❌ A new country
Well, that was a bit of a bummer.
Stuff to learn about:
✅ Japanese cooking
✅ All about moss
✅ About green banking and investing
Stuff to make
✅ 2 videos every month
✅ 24 digital drawings (almost made 40)
✅ 60+ TikTok Videos to figure out what works for me
I feel pretty good about this creative category!
Stuff to try
✅ Getting the COVID-19 vaccine (guess this list was made in Dec. 2020)
*️⃣ Using LinkedIn a bit more (Did it then remembered why I don’t like LinkedIn)
✅ High quality mezcal
Things to read
✅ About Housing Segregation
✅ 7 Books on Climate/Nature
✅ Octavia Butler
Glad I gave Octavia Butler my attention
Things to watch
✅ A movie in a theatre
✅ Three Asian-helmed movies
❌ Lovecraft Country
Final tally:
✅ 17
*️⃣ 3
❌ 4
#363 Admin Wall
29 December 2021 // San Diego, California
Having newborns makes it tough to get anything done, with one notable exception: binge watching. You spend so much time with your hands occupied, but while needing to entertain your mind.
Here’s what I’ve watched in the twins’ first month:
• Hanna – Dozed through some of the finer plot points but loved the tour of European cities
• Shrill – I’m perhaps not quite the target audience, but I get why it gets the love.
• 14 Peaks – Loved this so much. Made me want to climb.
• The Rescue – Made me feel good about humans, so that’s nice.
• 8 Bit Christmas – Simple & sweet.
• Invasion – The most common complaint is how slowly this story unfolds but that’s the best thing about it.
• Station Eleven – A bit confused so far, but curious to see where this goes.
• The Flight Attendant – That was just fun.
• Boogie – Liked it, made me more nostalgic than I expected.
• Hawkeye – Exceeded expectations.
• Don’t Look Up – Really want more recorded convos between the “a little too on the nose” reviewers and the “I feel seen” scientists.
• No Way Home – They mashed all the right buttons for a fun film and succeeded
Still in queue:
Encanto
Neh
Howl’s Moving Castle
Swan Song
Money Heist
Belfast
#364 Piecer at Hoyt
30 December 2021 // San Diego, California
The plot twists in 2021 were completely wild.
Going into it, I might have hoped for a little more travel, but in lieu of that we got signed up for a lifetime of adventure as a family of five.
I stayed the course with putting out consistent creative work and at the end of the year I’m pretty happy with some of the stuff I’ve made, and I’m excited to continue to making stuff.
There were some mountaintop moments.
And some crushing lows.
The journey to healing and justice is always worth it, but it’s also never linear.
It’s impossible to simply sum up this year as mostly good or bad. Either label feels like it’s ignoring something massive and unmistakable about the year. And that’s probably more true about life overall. We just have that pesky habit of trying to oversimplify.
Instead, I’m choosing to take it all in. The highs, lows, and seemingly ordinary. There’s a lot to remember
#365 Year End Sips
31 December 2021 // San Diego, California
This was one of the most complex years of my life to reflect on, because it was so full of paradoxes and contradictions.
I’m proud of my creative work. A bit disappointed in my modest travels.
From personal experiences to pop culture, grief seemed like a recurring motif.
But two of the people I love most in the world just showed up towards the end of it in the form of newborn twins.
Big losses. New life. Beautiful moments. Frustrating roadblocks.
All while sort of being trapped in some liminal space of not-quite-lockdown but not exactly an open road, either.
Maybe that’s what getting older and more mature looks like. The years are less black-and-white, good-or-bad and all a symphony of contrasts. Or, maybe, 2021 really was just a wild card.
Either way, I’m thankful for it- both the parts that arrived with absolute clarity and the parts that won’t make sense for years, if ever.
And I’m so thankful to have you as a part of it.
Juniper & Kai
Meet Juniper and Kai!
After a 1-in-500,000,000 pregnancy, months of waiting, and a dramatic entry, we are so happy to introduce the world to:
Kai Noam, born at 7:59 am on Nov. 29
and
Juniper Phileena, born a minute after.
Brother and sister are doing really well. Mom is strong. We are so, so grateful for our family.
We're The Luckiest
This week has been quite a handful, including Rhys bouncing back from being sick and three trips to labor and delivery and being sent home each time.
I think we might as well get used to a pretty high baseline level of chaos. But there’s nobody else I’d rather ride all these oncoming waves with.
I’m constantly amazed with @deanna.suzanna
At what her body can do- pregnancies are a bit more complicated for us, and yet here we are at at the very end of a full term of a twin pregnancy with 1-in-500-million odds. (Really, I’ll explain later).
At how good of a mom she is- Rhys has been through a lot lately and that’s caused us to have to huddle up more and brainstorm how to help him navigate big feelings and changes in the best ways we can. She has such good insight into knowing what he needs and what sits underneath certain behaviors and is totally natural at it.
At how much fun we have together- in spite of it all, still cracking jokes and being ourselves. Nobody else I’d rather walk into this madness with.
Our kids won the mom lottery, and I’m the luckiest of all. Sorry, Ben Folds.
One Hard Day
I know I share a lot of pics (like this one from June Lake last year) of my family lookin’ cute AYE EFFE and while that’s the reality of it, so too are the challenges.
Not gonna lie, yesterday was probably my toughest single day of parenting yet. I told Deanna it was probably a top fiver, then she asked me if I could think of anything that came close.
Rhys got hand-foot-mouth disease, which… even the name of that virus makes ya cringe. Thankfully it’s contagion risk to us is pretty low and it just needs to run it’s course, hopefully before the twins show up. We did have a false alarm over the weekend, though, so who knows?
Rhys is a fighter, though this thing is painful! Not much interest in food, naps, or play yesterday, just lots of telling me “mouth hurts.” 🥺 Pobrecito.
Anyways, this feed is about to have lots of sweet baby stuff, so I’m sharing these kinds of moments too so it’s not all good-vibes-only, but all of the real honest vibes. And as a reminder that you make it to the end of these days, fall asleep to watching travel YouTubers on the couch before even getting to open the can of cheap Korean beer, and it ends up being the deepest, sweetest, most well earned sleep you can imagine.
Idealist & Strategist
How do you respond to an injustice you saw coming the whole time?
“Not surprised. Disappointed and upset. But not at all surprised.”
That’s a sentiment I’ve found myself echoing each time upsetting news happens. The verdict in Kenosha. The relative inaction from COP26 in Glasgow. The unraveling of Haiti, Ethiopia, or Afghanistan.
These are all heavy and troubling, but if you paid enough attention beforehand the signs were always there. To paraphrase a Trevor Noah quip, Rittenhouse’s judge might as well have adopted him midway through the trial.
But I’ve been curious about my response- to anticipate bitter news ahead of time in order to soften its blow. I don’t doubt that it’s a coping strategy, but it seems at odds with the fact that I’m generally a hopeful person and I’ve been wondering if this learned response is beneficial, detrimental, or if it just is what it is. Oddly, the biggest reason something like the IPCC report didn’t sting too badly is that it largely anthologized thousands of reports I’ve seen over the years.
On one hand, I don’t ever want to lose sight of the truth that a better world is possible and that things don’t need to remain as they are. On the other, I think there’s wisdom in not expecting that better world to be delivered by the same systems who brought it to this point. There’s a maturity in being deliberate with your trust.
I don’t want to be cynical, nor do I want to be naive. But the most cynical idea might be the one that says these are your only two options.
I’ve come to accept that my reactions aren’t at odds with hope, and they more accurately reflect where my hope sits. It certainly isn’t in courts and conferences, though I think justice eventually remakes those things too.
One side of me is a wholehearted idealist. The other side is a strategic pragmatist. And I think I can do my part the best when those two sides play together.