Welcome to February, check out my now-three-month-old!
We started off month number three with a RAD W in the Rose Bowl 🌹, watching a burning magnificent sunset at Joshua Tree 🌅, and learning how to roll. Also managed to celebrate Cousin Zara turning one, stealing the show at a couple of speaking events, and finding a great new trail in Fallbrook. 🏔
I’ve loved being a dad from the get-go but we’re at an especially fun stage right now. So much physical development over the past couple weeks. ⠀⠀
He loves it when I beatbox and pretend his face is my drum machine. 🎛 He managed to throw a ball for the first time (barely missed the goal I made with my hands, but you miss all the shots you don’t take, y’know?) 🏀 He decided on a favorite toy and its a French puppy. 🐶 He has started putting together sounds that sound like the word “good.” With a little coaching, I’ve been trying to see if he can give me an I AM GROOT. 🌱
I’ve loved seeing so much personality come out lately. Quality playtimes every day.
February 2020
#32 Rhys’ First Dog Beach
01 February 2020 // San Diego, California
The fireworks went off about a minute and a half into a YouTube video titled- What to do when your RV’s generator goes out? I could hear them reverberating all throughout Desert Hot Springs as the clock struck midnight. Meanwhile, I was playing electrician on a camper we had rented for the evening.
#33 Super Bowl Swaddle
02 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Ambition can be a really valuable thing. It can also quickly turn unhealthy.
Ambitious is a word that pops up often when others describe me, and I think that’s fair. I get excited about what’s possible. I tend to be optimistic about what can get done. I don’t want life to end without knowing that I gave it my best.
That said, sometimes I feel the negative side effects of my ambitious nature. Operating from a place of scarcity. Getting caught up in outcomes and people’s responses rather than the process.
Lately I’ve been curious about what that thin line is in between the upside of ambition and it’s unhealthy expression. I think I’ve found one spot where it lies.
It’s the difference between self-actualization and insecurity.
When ambition is healthy, it stems from a person’s desire to live up to their potential. It can come from a place of knowing that their life has a valuable purpose and not wanting to miss out on the purpose.
It doesn’t stem from the arrogance of thinking you’re there already, but from a desire to get there and the humility to see that gap.
On the flip side, ambition rooted in insecurity comes from a place of always trying to prove something. Instead of believing that you have a purpose you have yet to fulfill, an insecure person believes that they really don’t measure up and need to put on more of a show so others think they do.
Seeing this difference has helped me set my sights on constantly making sure my ambitious nature comes from a healthy place.
#34 Atomic Habits
03 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Earlier this month I wrote something that seemed to resonate with a bunch of people:
“Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. Setting up good systems, habits, or processes changes the way you do things, which actually leads to consistent and lasting results. And for me, I think that would look like truly showing up and being totally locked in to the moment in front of me. As a dad. As a storyteller. As an advocate.”
It’s taken some getting used to but I’m trying to step back from achieving certain outcomes with my creativity, my work, and my life and to spend more time appreciating the moment at hand.
This isn’t to say that I’ve completely rejected the importance of goals, strategy, and discipline- but I do think I got so fluent at those things that I lost the balance of loving the process. Over the past few weeks, I think I’ve been finding my way back to it.
That’s led me to days where I don’t get as much done as I would’ve hoped. To having to say no to more things than I’m used to. To allowing myself to be distracted more.
Ironically this has led to one of my most rewarding and creative months. I got a cool speaking opportunity in front of a small but significant crowd. I got my first invitation to be on somebody’s podcast since becoming a dad. I was invited back to Colombia. Something I wrote was read and shared by a leading climate scientist, and got a lot of traction.
It turned out to be a productive month. But more importantly, it was a fun month. And one densely packed with life.
It’s funny how sometimes loosening up your grip ultimately makes you stronger.
#35 What You Love, What You Hate
04 February 2020 // San Diego, California
James Clear said “Frequently change your methods. Rarely change your principles.”
I love this because it applies so broadly to different areas of life.
Like with money. Pretty much every year I further refine the way I go about crunching the numbers for our budget and figuring out how to be more efficient. But the principle of not spending more than I’m making, of being generous, and of trying to save stays fixed.
Or with the marketing work I do. In just three years I’ve tried out so many different tactics. But the core philosophy of adding value, building a strategy on generosity, and being honest stays firm.
My parenting methods will need to adapt in parallel with my kids’ development, though the principle of being present and loving unconditionally is fixed. Fitness methods always change. The principle of stewarding my health well doesn’t. Travel methods change, but not the principle of being open minded and leaving things better.
There is room for principles to evolve, but on a rare and deliberate basis. After all, we all grow. But part of growth is taking the most important things we know to be true, and making them fit the given circumstance.
#36 Morning at Cafeina
05 February 2020 // San Diego, California
I think one of the biggest fallacies out there is that things only get worse, the world only gets more polarized, and that human security is more vulnerable now than its ever been.
Bad news is simply louder than good news. When a recession strikes, everybody knows the day the markets all crash. But nobody waves a banner when recovery has happened. It barely gets noticed. When there’s an outbreak of a disease it commands headlines. But as it is cured or fades into rarity, that story doesn’t get told.
Things like LGBT issues or climate change can still trigger debates if you go looking for them, but not the way they used to ten years ago. While there are certainly other issues that have gotten more polarized- migration or gun control, for example, things don’t only move in that direction. Things also get depolarized. Maybe we just can’t be mad at all things all the time, and in those lapses is a fight between progress and apathy.
Finally, while there still are a number of threats to human security en made, it’s easy to forget that there used to be way, way more. Relative to history, we’ve got things pretty good.
#37 Young Hickory Mug
06 February 2020 // San Diego, California
What’s that topic that would seem like a nerdy deep-dive to most people, that you could actually riff on for hours?
For me it’s the weird intersection of creative storytelling, nonprofit work, sustainability and human rights.
This week I got to go on a podcast and talk pretty freely about those favorite things. One topic that came up frequently for us was the item of nonprofit social media.
To me, a lot of organizations seem to just shoot darts all over the place. Really, every single post is a chance for you to add value to other people’s lives.
And actually, there’s not really any reason why that wouldn’t apply to the way any of us have the opportunity to use social media. You don’t need to be a brand or corporate account to think about using your platform to add value.
One little blurb that came out of my mouth was that posts can inform, encourage, or inspire, and best of all, do some combination of the three. Surprisingly, my host knew the guy at REI who came up with the #OptOutside campaign and this was almost his exact methodology. (We had maybe one word of difference, but really, it was almost verbatim).
You hear often enough about the link between social media and self absorption and what that is doing to our society. Maybe this is a good strategy to be a more mindful user.
#38 Shake Shack Snack Break
07 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Things go by too fast. Gotta find some stillness.
I heard a couple of interviews this week that we’re on totally different topics but they ended up related to each other much more closely after listening.
The first was a conversation with Jennie Allen. She talked about how she’s always a had an unusually strong sensitivity to how quickly time passes. It’s sometimes hard for her to not think about it. She talked about not being able to send her kids off to school without thinking of them after finishing school.
She seemed so aware that this was taking her out of the moment. That the way one should respond to this awareness is to be more deeply present. But it became more like a thought she couldn’t get rid of, like an anxiety.
I related so strongly to that. The only other person I’ve heard articulate this experience so well was Elizabeth Gilbert.
I know for many people understanding that life moves fast and that you shouldn’t wait can be very motivating. But more often than not, it’s simply a reason I feel anxious a lot of the time. It triggers a felt need to jump in front of the day, to get ahead early, and to make the day so packed with activity there isn’t much breathing room.
The other interview I heard was with Ryan Holiday. He spoke a lot about stillness and described it as a moment at the end of a day playing with his kids and their dog. Time could stand still. It didn’t matter anymore.
That’s what I want more of. I need to escape the trap of thinking it could come just by getting ahead of schedule, because there will always be a felt scarcity. Maybe an abundance mindset can apply to having an abundance of time as well.
#39 100 Days of Rhys
08 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Official: it’s my 💯th day of being Rhys’ dad.
Shall we party?
In a lot of East Asian cultures, 100 days of life was kind of a big deal. 🗾 With poverty, food scarcity, and illness being commonplace, parents couldn’t take survival for granted.
I’ve had a considerably easier time with Rhys than my ancestors over on that side of the world would’ve had but I’m thankful all the same.
It’s impossible to say something that hasn’t already been said by any given new dad. All the stuff you usually hear is accurate. It’s beautiful and it changes everything. 💚 My heart has been so full and alive the past 100 days. Tummy time, skin to skin, favorite toys, wrestling with the cloth wrap, fluent gibberish, bathtime- I’ve been loving it all.
One of the best parts of my life right now is that every 3-4 hours I have to stop whatever I’m doing and go play. 🤾🏽♂️ It makes the world much lighter. What a way to live.
Now... how to celebrate? 🥟 Soup dumplings? 🍱 K-BBQ? 🍲 Pho noodles for a long life??
#40 Rainy Day Planters
09 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Are you having any fun?
Once I was asked in a job interview what unique thing I would bring to the table. Without even thinking, I let out the word “fun!” The interviewer wasn’t expecting that answer, and really, I wasn’t either. I immediately started to wonder if I should’ve said something else.
I was worried that if fun was my calling card, people might question my work ethic, overlook my other skills, and not take me seriously.
But also... we probably already take ourselves too seriously.
And who works harder than a kid engrossed in play?
And as a kid, I loved Ken Griffey Jr. not just cause he dominated, but because he looked like he was having a ridiculous amount of fun at the same time.
We like to remind ourselves that life isn’t all fun and games, but sometimes we teeter dangerously close to zero fun and no games. A spirit of lightness and fun is one of the most refreshing things our world could use more of right now. Imagine if all the mean-spirited snarkiness in the world and in places of power were rooted in a sense of humor based on honesty and humility. That would be FUN.
#41 Mission Beach Bar
10 February 2020 // San Diego, California
It’s hard not to succeed on your quest if you make it a priority to help as many people around you on their quest.
Video games get this. That’s why when you’re on your mission to collect keys or relics or whatever, you’ll find one that can only be collected by helping an old man you come across repair a snowmobile. Or something like that.
This is a philosophy of mine that applies to work, but also life in a broader, more spiritual sense. If you make it a target to be relentlessly helpful, you’ll build strong and loyal relationships that ultimately help you get to where you’re trying to go.
It’s hard to say this sometimes, without sounding like I’m advocating for reciprocity. Scratch your back if you scratch mine. That is probably the most insincere and ineffective way to do this.
To really offer value, build intimate connections, strengthen relationships, and provide legitimate help, you can’t simply do favors and check them off a list. This needs to simply become the way you do things. Muscle memory. It takes practice.
But, man, help people. So much of life becomes doable when you master the art of showing up for others.
#42 Oceanography Center Walk
11 February 2020 // San Diego, California
There’s something powerful about being someone who has mastered the art of asking good questions.
James Clear lists it among the top three skills to develop that pay off in many different areas of life. Alongside reading and getting proper sleep, it’s worth the effort to learn how to ask good questions.
Asking the right questions obviously leads to more learning. It’s also a disarming, humble gesture. At the same time, being a good question asker can also be smart approach to discussing contentious topics. It can force your partner to re-evaluate his or her train of thought.
Curiosity is a muscle. If you want to develop a true learner, don’t stuff them with knowledge. Cultivate their curiosity.
One caveat is that it’s gotta be sincere. I once complimented someone on their ability to ask questions, only I was never again able to hang out with them without feeling like being on a Barbara Walters special. Insincere question asking feels robotic and manipulative.
But real curiosity? That’s such a gift. With a healthy dose of it, the mind will travel far.
#43 TRACKSUIT RHYS
12 February 2020 // San Diego, California
I’ve noticed something that the very best writers, speakers, and thought leaders do: they speak to ambiguity, and in doing so, they eliminate it.
I’ve noticed the times my words get the best response, and it’s when I have called attention to a subject where there’s a lot of confusion, and that confusion seems to be affecting people.
Minimalism isn’t a new topic by any stretch. You can find themes of it interwoven through teachings in Buddhism, Christianity, and other faiths. But these traditions are millennia old and so every new generation is ripe to hear their messages in a way that’s clear to them, because over time, ambiguity accumulates.
So when the likes of Thich Nacht Thanh and Thomas Merton spoke to the virtues of simplicity, moderation, and humility, the theme of minimalism came alive. But there was still ambiguity about how to turn this into an actionable behavior.
In the early 2000s and 2010s, new bloggers came along showing us how to do just that. Joshua Becker, Leo Babauta and others really contributed to resolving ambiguity. The term Minimalism went from being mostly used to describe an aesthetic to a lifestyle.
Then came The Minimalists- offering even punchier, unambiguous posts. Marie Kondo resolves the ambiguity of how to be minimalist while still appreciating the life of an object. Now countless vloggers like Matt D’Avella showcase what that looks like in real life. More ambiguity busted.
What’s next? Maybe leaders who help us resolve the ambiguity between minimalism and having a large family, or all the nuances of race and privilege when it comes to Minimalism. There’s so much room left to explore.
When I talk about the environment and faith, I call attention to the fact that we are constantly confronted by these two topics but never seem to ask how they go together. In team settings, when I start to notice people not being on the same page about certain things but trying to make it work in roundabout ways, I’ll call attention to that.
When you call out ambiguity, you can then offer a new, helpful framework for people to think about the item. This provides both clarity and motivation to act.
#44 YERBA COURT
13 February 2020 // San Diego, California
One of my favorite ways people describe Jesus’ teachings is this: they afflicted the comforted and comforted the afflicted. In other words, He made people who were troubled feel at peace and He made those who felt comfortable uneasy.
I think about this description a lot when I think about what impact I’d like to have as a voice and with my writing and speaking opportunities.
There’s a time for me to speak to offer hope, to relieve people’s anxieties, to build bridges between groups that don’t see things eye-to-eye. Yes to all of that.
But also. There’s a time to challenge. There’s a time to light a fire.
I’ve spent a lot of my life aiming to say the right thing to please a crowd. I have a performative side. And saying things that bring hope, quench anxiety, feed wonder, and build bridges often please a crowd.
But lighting a fire doesn’t. And being a good steward of my platform wouldn’t be complete if I never lit fires. If I never sought to make those in comfort uncomfortable.
So let’s light some fires.
Not infernos that incinerate whatever they touch.
But sparks.
Sparks that catalyze engines and get wheels turning.
Because that’s what it takes to generate movement and change.
#45 Milkbar Birthday Cake
14 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Weirdly hoping this is our most boring Valentines Day yet!
We have a weird little track record of Valentine’s Day coinciding with either a nasty illness or a humongous life transition.
In five years of marriage it’s looked like:
2016: Being so sick we spent our first Valentines Day in the hospital
2017: Celebrating early, since I was interviewing for and eventually landing my job
2018: Sick again!
2019: We found the house we ended up buying and would find out we were pregnant just a few weeks after... so yeah. That one takes the cake.
2020: ❓❓❓
We probably aren’t up for any massive life changes right now (I suppose there’s some exceptions. I’ll take a radioactive spider bite that gives me powers.) And we’re sure thankful to be healthier than those other two years. We’ve also got our three month old in the fold.
We did, however, order a cake and truffles from Milk Bar that was awkwardly delivered to my office, and that sounds like the perfect level of excitement for me right now.
#46 Home Life
15 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Think of someone you admire. Really admire. Like, legendary status.
Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Fred Rogers, Fannie Lou Hamer level. Y’know?
I heard somebody once say that every time you feel that spark of admiration for somebody as a hero, it’s cause of certain character traits and the fact that some of those traits are already in you, able to sprout with the right nurture.
One of the phrases I use a lot is- becoming the best version of yourself. It’s a beautiful, never-ending project. When it comes to my work in advocacy, creativity, and marketing, I think of it as inviting others to become the best versions of themselves.
It’s far from an original idea. The Old Testament highlights that everybody is made in the image of God. Value is embedded in everybody. Thomas Merton wrote a lot about a person’s true self. Same idea. All kinds of people talk about finding your inner child, though doing so actually takes a world of maturity!
I like this. I Iike the idea that the person each of us were made to be varies from person to person. It’s not about imitating your heroes, but finding your own true self. It’s the great plot twist found everywhere from the Wizard of Oz to Legally Blonde to Knives Out.
The thing you’ve been looking for has been with you all along.
#47 Harbor Island Harbor
16 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Have you ever thought about starting a nonprofit organization?
I did. In fact, if you went back and told my twenty year old self that I haven’t started one yet, I bet I’d be really surprised.
For the longest time, I knew that I wanted to work internationally, and I knew I wanted that work to help people. I wanted to eliminate poverty, fight injustice, and promote peacebuilding. I also knew I wanted to raise awareness for the cause, and help other people become passionate about it. I wanted to help other people find their purpose through helping other people.
I always figured my way to do this would be by starting a nonprofit organization.
I went to graduate school, getting degrees in international studies and nonprofit management.
I traveled to dozens of countries after school, discovering causes I cared about.
And I read a bunch of books by other people who started nonprofits, wanting to learn from their experience.
And after all that, I didn’t start a nonprofit!
I had a friend tell me that back in the nineties, young people were all about starting bands with their friends, but these days, young people start nonprofits.
But think of it this way, what do you think could help more people?
One hundred nonprofits in start-up mode, with teams of one or two people doing everything from fundraising to program work to the office admin just to survive?
Or one nonprofit with a staff of a hundred people, where each team-member could play to their strengths? With a fundraising department skilled at building relationships with donors. A field team that could develop the best program without having to worry as much about office work. Monitoring and statistics people who could make sure the organization was doing its best work. And office admin, finance people, and executive leaders who keep the wheels turning?
if everyone simply started organizations right and left to solve problems, we’d have countless orgs that are understaffed, struggling to survive. They’ll have a hard time making a big impact. What if instead we devoted all that energy to teams that were already established and doing good work, helping them grow and get even stronger.
Our culture tends to glorify heroes, founders, and charismatic leaders. And in the nonprofit world, that can actually become a problem. The savior complex has led to broken trust and disempowered people.
This isn’t to say that that’s the case for every nonprofit founder, or that nobody should ever start an organization. But people should think long and hard before committing to this. Ask yourself:
Are there already organizations out there working to solve the same problems I want to solve?
What is the most effective way I can contribute to this mission?
What are my real motivations?
When I asked myself these things, I started to see that it wasn’t for me. At least not right now.
All my preparation for running a nonprofit organization hasn’t gone to waste. These days, I work in creative storytelling and marketing for an organization called Plant With Purpose, an environmental nonprofit that’s older than I am!
The fact that the organization has already gone through the more difficult years of early growth, building an audience, and developing good systems allows me to focus on the things I enjoy the most, and that I do best...
...like launching a podcast!
...or telling stories from Haiti!
...or building a movement.
And maybe, just maybe, some day comes where I do start an organization. If that happens, I think I’ll be much better prepared for all the challenges that brings.
But right now, right here, I’m happy.
Thanks for watching, sign up for the newsletter below.
And remember, when compassion and creativity meet, amazing things happen!
#48 Kwaay Paay with Rhys
17 February 2020 // San Diego, California
What if the whole dream just doesn’t come true?
I was talking with a friend who moved to a new city to pursue her dream of an artistic career. It was a risky move, but one that seemed really right for her. When the next right step seems to be an equally good fit for your personal growth and your spiritual life and your career and purpose and everything… you just can’t say no!
But she’d been at it for a few years. Some big wins, but not the huge breakthrough she might’ve been hoping for. And when she said this was a question she’d been asking herself, I felt like I could relate. What if I never make the thing that reaches a large audience? That changes the way people see an issue en masse? What if that big surge of growth I’ve been looking for just doesn’t happen?
Then I realized, what if we asked another question?
What if the dream already came true and we didn’t know it?
I get to wake up most mornings looking forward to making things. She gets to rock crowds and temporarily take them away from their everyday lives and into the magic of a performance. I have an opportunity to speak about urgent and important issues. Somehow we’re able to do these things, have a blast, and still pay the bills.
Sure there will be other benchmarks, new levels, and next steps we’ll always be looking towards. But also… we’re doing it! And I know my twenty year old self would be pretty thrilled knowing everyday life could blend work and play so seamlessly.
Imagine if the genie gave you unlimited wishes, except with the catch that you’d never be able to realize it when a wish had been granted. That would be so anticlimactic! Here’s to the dreams that come true quietly.
#49 The Book of Unknown Americans
18 February 2020 // San Diego, California
“You just have to anticipate not being able to do as much as you used to.” –Ancient proverb from parents to newer parents.
This was, in fact, something I heard about a lot before having Rhys. And I was truly curious how hard that would strike. My off-switch doesn’t always work so well.
It is, in fact, no longer possible for me to work the way I used to. I’ve had to get stronger at telling people when there’s no longer room on my plate for things. I used to hate leaving tasks halfway done, but I’ve had to get used to doing that to take care of baby things.
But, I would hardly call this getting less done.
Some days we’ll read about more animals than leading zoologists. I’ll help this guy with more wardrobe changes than a fashion blogger. Sometimes those outfits ARE animals. We’ll read nine books a day. And I get to practice the art of hypnotism with mixed results.
I’ve had the best long weekend with our little man, and it keeps going!
#50 Cured Egg Yolk
19 February 2020 // San Diego, California
What do you do when you strike a creative rut?
Tell me if this sounds relatable. One day you’re firing on all cylinders. Your creative juices are flowing. It seems like you can’t put your ideas to paper quickly enough. You’d stay up all night working if you could.
But you can’t.
Then the next day comes. And suddenly, you’re stuck. Where does this story go next? What happened to all those ideas from yesterday? Why does this blank page just want to stay blank?
You’re not crazy for feeling like this. A few years ago, I got really curious about the idea of biorhythms. It’s a theory that different mental, emotional, and physical areas of your life ebb and flow. Some days your creative muscles are ready and able. But those other days…
It would be great if we could just wait around for our biorhythms or whatever to cooperate, but what happens when you need to constantly create things?
Let me share a few of my best tricks on how I stay inspired to create.
First, whenever an idea strikes, I capture it.
If I hear about an idea, from a friend, or a podcast, or a book that I can’t stop thinking about, I make sure to write it down somewhere. Oftentimes, the moment when these ideas strike are quite removed from the moment when you have a chance to sit down and start writing or creating something. When I do get to sit down, I want to be able to simply pull up the note of all the different things that have caught my attention.
I get a lot of ideas when scrolling through social media. So I take screenshots of links. I bookmark Tweets. On Instagram, I have quite a library of saved posts, from places I want to eat in town, to good quotes, and captions from others that made me think.
It’s like how before you cook a meal, you want to have all the ingredients ready, first.
A lot of people try to come up with ideas at the same time they try to write. And it’s so much harder that way. That’s why writers block is such a common thing. Ideas strike at the most random times. If you capture them well, then when it’s time for you to do the work, you just need to pop open your notebook and see what ideas are waiting for you.
It’s like opening your fridge and having a sense of what you have to work with for dinner. It’s just better than having to take the extra effort of going to the market each and every time.
Second, I write every night.
I journal every night before bed. And there aren’t really any rules as to what goes in my journal, just as long as I’m taking the time to write. Sometimes- hang on a sec-
This isn’t honest. I don’t use a notebook. I use Google Docs on my phone.
That’s better.
I’ll write about the day, but other times, I’ll just play with random ideas. About philosophy. About marketing. About anything really, whatever I need to let out of my head.
There’s no pressure to write well, or beautifully, since this won’t really make it past me. Unless I want it to. And a lot of times that ends up happening.
If I simply get out some thoughts and they never again see the light of day, then the exercise of thinking and writing alone is worth it. But quite often, I go back to these drafts. And sometimes they become the first iteration of something bigger.
Finally, I’ve traded entertainment for inspiration.
If at the end of a long day, you just need to put on Netflix to space out, there’s nothing wrong with that! Consuming series, movies, or books for pleasure is often talked down upon by creatives, as a reason why you’re not productive.
But, I’ve found that while I’m relaxing and taking in a story somebody else has created, I’m often challenged. I often feel strong emotions. I get new ideas.
I think of films like Parasite. Shows like Unbelievable. Books like Pachinko. These things entertained me. But they also inspired me. They had complex themes and raised as many questions as they answered. And they were entertaining at the same time.
It’s less about whether or not you watch, but how much you watch. And what you choose to watch.
This isn’t a perfect formula, but these are simple practices that help me keep up my creative flow. Thanks for watching, sign up for the newsletter below.
Remember, when compassion meets creativity, amazing things happen.
#51 UCSD Career Night
20 February 2020 // San Diego, California
What did you really need to hear your rookie year?
For the past three years a group of students at UCSD have invited me to talk about having a creative career, a nonprofit career, an international career, a career in sustainability, all that good stuff.
All the questions I got from students got the wheels turning. Here are some ideas that jumped out of our conversations.
Branding is all about making it clear how you help people become who they want to be. Want a good personal brand? Show how you can help.
The Growth Mindset is where it’s at! It’s one of the most valuable skills, because it gives birth to a bunch of other skills.
If it feels like you’re doing your work in front of a minuscule crowd, you’re in the sweet spot for taking chances and trying new things. If you’re doing your work in front of a massive crowd, then you must be doing something right!
One of the big things that separates a successful international nonprofit from the rest is whether or not the locals feel like they own the process of change.
School is one way to learn, far from the only way. 90% of the practical knowledge I put to use every day comes from podcasts, books, even Twitter accounts I follow. Keep investing in yourself.
The notion of not being able to earn a decent living doing nonprofit work is exaggerated. Plenty of decent, stable opportunities exist.
A job might not offer the highest pay, but do factor in other benefits, flexibility, growth opportunities, your ability to be yourself, a sense of purpose, and the team culture. Some of these are things money can’t buy.
Don’t worry too much about landing somewhere and getting stuck. Always keep looking for ways to do the work you want to do, even if you need to package it with other stuff that pays the bills. You keep evolving throughout the process.
#52 Boy Boy in a Basket
21 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Do you get more excited to see new places? Or for return trips?
Admittedly, I’m probably a bit biased towards the new sights. And that’s in spite of the fact that I’ve absolutely loved so many places I’ve been. But I guess my train of thought is that there are so many places in the world I want to see in my lifetime, I’ve got to be at least a little deliberate in getting out there to get to most of them.
That said, the appeal of going back to old favorites keeps growing over time, and there are definitely some places I’ve been where I could easily see myself having even more fun the second time around. Namely:
New Orleans – The food alone is reason to return. It felt like we barely scratched the surface on our last visit and that there’s plenty more to be seen and done. I especially want to look into an eco-friendly swamp visit.
Vancouver – Two years ago, we went for our anniversary and did a lot of fun stuff. I bet we could return, do none of the same things, and have an equally good time. That’s how much it felt like the city was overflowing with stuff that interested us.
Cape Town – A colorful city with a bit of an edge sandwiched between a mountain and two oceans. With penguins. It’s almost as if the city was designed for my tastes. If only it weren’t really, really far to get to.
Taipei – This was the last little solo-backpacking trip I took before getting married and I remember being surprised at how much I underestimated it. Taiwan has a lot of fun and quirky things, whilst being really accessible and easy to bop around.
Munich – Bavaria was my favorite part of Germany. And we only passed through on a Sunday when most things were closed. I could totally see myself enjoying more time in town.
Some exciting news: A New Orleans return trip is happening!
Where would you go back to?
#53 Skip Hop
22 February 2020 // San Diego, California
I love it when you start seeing the same message pop up in different places, from people and sources that definitely don’t know each other…
...and it starts to feel like that message is all meant for you.
This week, Scotty Russell posted an illustration of the phrase TAKE A DAMN BREAK, DON’T DIG YOURSELF AN EARLY GRAVE and it struck. My friend Gary also posted something similar about not doing work from a place of scarcity. And a couple of books and podcasts that came my way also had the same thought.
And it became really clear to me, that a break was exactly what I needed.
It’s been quite a month. Not hard, exactly, because we’ve had much harder times not long ago. But Deanna is studying for an exam that takes as much free time as she can luck out in having. That leaves me to take care of Rhys as much as possible. And there hasn’t been as much time for the fun and free stuff I normally enjoy.
And I realized, I’ve spent most of this month entering each day in a turbo-charged mentality, trying to simply get everything done. And I realized, there were a lot of unhealthy reasons why I kept doing this. Partly because it felt like I needed to work to prove things, partly because I kept believing in the false promise of “catching up” to a point where things slow down. That doesn’t really exist unless you make it.
So, I took a break. I dedicated my day to play with Rhys and I’m better off for it. The caption may have been right, I might’ve gotten a little more life back.
Sometimes, you just gotta listen to those messages that won’t leave you alone.
#54 Bubs
23 February 2020 // San Diego, California
What are things I love?
Baymax
Baobabs
Half Marathons
Alpacas
Mezcal
Thomas Merton
Pho
World Cups
Kim’s Convenience
Growlithe
Yosemite
Oat Milk
Powell’s Books
Trevor Noah
Codenames
Cape Town
Actualized Enneagram 8s
Walter Mitty
Public Speaking
What are things you love?
#55 I’m Still Here
24 February 2020 // San Diego, California
If you look at any given threatened forest or biodiversity hotspot... Australia... the Amazon... know what you’ll likely find?
An indigenous community on the frontlines of protecting it.
A couple years ago Jah Cho and some of his neighbors explained to me how their tribes were stateless, but that they relied on the forests of Northern Thailand for their survival. 🌲🌲🌲
In the past, local agencies would give them a really hard time, but they were persistent in showing good land management techniques as a community.
I then learned some other things:
🌐 Indigenous communities are about 5% of the Earth’s population
🌐 This part of the population manages about 20% of its land
🌐 That land contains 80% of its biodiversity
In spite of this, many governments and organizations overlook the role that indigenous communities have in protecting sensitive spaces.
I just published an essay on this for Plant With Purpose - and it includes some suggestions on what we could do. It’s one I’m especially fired up about, so I linked it in my bio.
How often do you hear about indigenous communities in the environmental discussions you come across?
#56 Tuesday Night Pho
25 February 2020 // San Diego, California
What gets you out of bed in the morning? What do you love doing? What makes you feel alive?
What keeps you up at night? What’s something in the world that makes you see red? That you just want to put an end to?
These questions seem simple. Some people just know the answers deeply and instantly. Others need to try out different things and do some exploring. But they’re always worth responding to.
I think these show you the things you can’t NOT do. You know? When I first learned about global justice issues, I really felt like I couldn’t just sit on that knowledge. When I’ve gotten the chance to speak to crowds to share that same passion, I always feel like, yeah, this is what I’m MEANTTOBEDOING with my life.
#57 We Have a Crawl Kid!
26 February 2020 // San Diego, California
~**gRAphIC DESiGn | iS | mY PASsioN**!~
Okay, so not entirely. If that was all I did, I’d miss the speaking, the storytelling, the scripting of other things. But I have fun with design. Lemme throw on a podcast and open up Photoshop or Illustrator, and I imagine that’s what serious gamers feel like. I’m happy it gets to be a component of what I do.
Recently I got to work on Plant With Purpose’s annual report. Not a totally original design, but I had to learn how to mimic the styles of past editions and give some pages a facelift. It was fun getting to figure out how to do that.
Creative design is about more than aesthetics. It’s about transmitting feelings, and in my work, it's the feeling of being invited. The first time I realized the world of nonprofit organizations could be for ME and not just older, wealthier, people in suits came when I saw organizations with branding and exciting visuals and gear that looked just like my vibe!
One of the unspoken questions people ask when they encounter new ideas, movements, or organizations is “is this for me???” The right design says HECK YES COME ON IN.
#58 Little Münster
27 February 2020 // San Diego, California
A couple of weeks ago, I got to participate in a career-related Q&A with International Studies students at UCSD.
This was the third year in a row I’ve gotten to do this event, and I’ve enjoyed it every time. Largely because these students are in the exact spot where I was not all that long ago.
So many of the questions I got were basically the same question packaged in different ways.
Should I take internships? Is it a good idea for me to work in Washington DC anyways? Do I need to spend time outside of the country to get experience?
Basically, people want to make sure they’re making the right next move. What do you say YES to?
I think these students are all right to recognize how valuable the next few years are. Actually, we all would be better served if we realized how valuable the time right in front of us is. Unfortunately as we get older, or just more caught up in the tasks of surviving and paying bills, we forget the value of time right in front of us. We miss the fact that each moment is an opportunity to invest.
The magic of spending time with my four month old keeps getting better and better. A week ago, I set Rhys down on a quilt on the ground and watched him roll over. And then he started kicking his legs. He was trying so hard to do something that I knew I had to turn my camera on and keep watching. And before I knew it, he crawled for the first time.
It was an instantaneous reminder that time was limited and precious. Having a kid has made me even more selective about how I choose to use my time.
Time is precious for all of us. Becoming a dad just increased my awareness of it. If I’m going to commit to something, it’s gotta be a wholehearted YES!
Every choice we make is an opportunity to invest… in the people we want to be and in the change we want to see.
So, why do people hold back from making the big investment?
Fear. It makes us instead spend our time on the things that get in the way of what matters.
Complacency. Settling for less than something we were made for.
Impatience. The best investors are the future-minded
Being a Creative Changemaker takes patience. You need the patience to keep showing in front of empty screens, blank pages, and small crowds. You need the patience to keep making incremental progress, while having a bigger vision. You need the patience to remember that lasting change doesn’t happen overnight.
But this patience can’t be an idle patience. It ‘s more like an investment. Take a lesson from those UCSD students and be intentional with the choices in front of you.
Damian Lillard said in an interview that if you want to look good in front of thousands, you need to work harder than thousands in front of nobody.
The hours you have today are tokens you get to invest in the person you want to become and the world you want to live in.
#59 Tree Lady Park
28 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Ash Wednesday this week is reminding me of Ash Wednesday last year.
That was the day we discovered we were pregnant. I remember the second pink line showing up in the morning. I remember nothing from work for the next eight hours. I remember the drive to Kaiser in the rain at night to get hormone levels checked and Googling what different amounts of HCG might possibly mean. I remember deciding to myself that I was going to be cautiously optimistic about it.
It’s been a crazy year since then.
Rhys started crawling on Ash Wednesday this year and that just seems appropriate. I know that Ash Wednesday is a day for memento mori and recognizing that our time on earth is finite. But the past couple years, I’ve also been reminded by it that our time on Earth is remarkably beautiful.
We are extremely fortunate to be parents. We are blessed to be Rhys’ parents. The more I look back on it now, the more I see how we both overcame really unlikely odds and extremely challenging circumstances to get to the joy we have today of our guy crawling around. It’s amazing.
#60 Four Months of Rhys
29 February 2020 // San Diego, California
Remember that time we had that baby Rhys join our lives? That was FOUR MONTHS AGO.
He keeps leveling up.
1️⃣🆙
The past month was a quieter one for us, Rhys took advantage of the time to do some serious growin’.
🍄⭐️🐢
He started sprouting little teeth. Didn’t think it could happen this early, but he kept messing with his tongue and there were some definite white teeth bits poking through.
Also we have a crawl kid now! [cue the underground theme 🎶] He’s been rolling around more often but can now officially bust out an army crawl.
I just love being this guy’s dad.
Nonprofits Still Do This?
I can’t believe nonprofits still do these things!
Do you ever see some nonprofits do things to promote themselves that are just cringeworthy? 🙋🏽♂️ To be honest, there are some GIANTS in the nonprofit world- especially in international development that do things to market themselves that just baffle me. Whyyyyyy? This includes several orgs that have incredible programs and contribute so much to public knowledge who use things like pushy street canvassers or dehumanizing photography. Their helpful work is brought down by harmful practices.
Of course raising awareness and funds isn’t an easy task, so I created #thecreativechangemaker as a resource for nonprofits to better learn how to build an audience that takes action. Starting with this first video on WHAT NOT TO DO.
One Tree a Day
What if you planted one tree each day?
If you’ve seen some of my recent posts about my photography journey, you know I’m kind of a fan of finding a way to do something every day, or in small bits over time.
That doesn’t just apply to self-improvement, but also making an impact on the world around you.
Like, what would happen if you planted one tree a day for a year? 🌲 I crunched some of the numbers here to find out.
Top 365 Photos
Let’s play a game. The first photo is from Argentina. 🇦🇷Recognize any of the other spots?
Motivated to share something this morning that helps me appreciate life- some of my favorite photos I’ve taken as part of my photo-a-day project that started ten years ago.
Life moves fast. Do what you love and double down on what really matters. And don’t forget to occasionally take a look at where that adventure takes you and be amazed.
I published a post ranking my top 20 photos after taking one every day for almost 4,000 days.
Human Subjects
You know what kinds of photos give me the most joy to capture?
I only found this out after ten years of taking pictures, starting as a hobbyist and discovering how photography fits within my broader career as a storyteller. I experimented with different styles. Went through different stylistic phases. Totally abandoned some aesthetics.
I get the most enjoyment out of working with human subjects who live lives that seem ordinary, but really contain volumes. I especially love capturing these moments across borders and cultures. I love how the same image can remind us of how we can be born into such different circumstances, while still sharing the same threads that make us human.
I see a similar thing being done (albeit at a much higher level) by A Great Big Story. I remember reading somewhere that while they tell a wide variety of stories, they’re all supposed to leave the viewer with a sense of feeling awestruck.
I want all of the stories I capture to lead people to remember how life is sacred, and to believe we are all connected.
In recent years, I’ve been able to tell stories from Colombia, Haiti, and Thailand. Transitioning to becoming a dad has meant I’ve been on hiatus from this part of my work for a little while- and I’ll probably continue to lie low for at least a few more months. But I still have a deep excitement for it. And I can’t wait to get back out there.
I've Taken a Photo a Day for Ten Years
I’ve taken a photo a day for ten years
I decided to take a photo every day. 📸 That was ten years ago, and I never stopped! This turned out to be the most rewarding creative project I’ve done, and it became less about photography and more about loving life. 🌅🌁🏞 I made this video to celebrate ten years of Project 365, and it’s one of my favorite videos I’ve made yet.
Parents in Reverence
Children need to see their parents in reverence.
I heard Pete Holmes on his podcast attribute this quote to Richard Rohr. So I started looking it up to see its original source. I couldn’t find anything. Instead all my searches led me to articles with titles like- How To Teach Your Child Reverence For Parents.
Close, but different. But kind of close.
In fact, it seems like people who try to engineer a sense of reverence for themselves in others end up getting resentment instead. The people I grew to admire and respect the most all seemed to each have their own profound sense of wonder for different things.
🌌The mystery of faith.
🏞The beauty of the earth.
🗾The diversity of the planet.
🎑The bedrock of family.
I think wonder is the purest form of wisdom.
The people who I admire most are driven by something bigger than themselves. And it’s something I want Rhys to see in the life I live.
MLK's Approval
“I don’t know, I think I prefer the Civil Rights Leaders from before,” I heard a friend say while comparing the movements of Black Lives Matter to the 1960s Civil Rights Era.
Are you sure?
It’s Martin Luther King Day and while I have no shortage of favorite quotes and anecdotes I typically enjoy sharing, what has my attention is a statistic.
His disapproval rating just before he died.
75%
That’s disapproval. People who were actively opposed to what MLK stood for and his way of communicating them. It’s higher than any disapproval ratings at any point for Barack Obama. Ilhan Omar. Colin Kaepernick. President Johnson totally cut off contact with him- too much of a reputational risk. Many of the people we think of as progressive or open-minded would likely not have supported King.
The idea that today’s voices for equality are “too much” compared to those from the past is only possible because we’re distant enough from MLK’s era that we can convince ourselves that his was a more moderate approach that always merited the same reverence that his name gets now.
No.
Would I have supported King? Would I not have talked about him much to keep the peace? My heart wants to believe I would’ve been an ally, but the pure stats make me question that assumption. Maybe I wouldn’t have been a hater. But one of the quiet ones?
After all, three in four of us would’ve been among the 75% back in 1968. Is our attitude towards today’s less controversial voices, ideas, or movements any indicator?
In Love With Video
It’s awkward to see yourself recorded, isn’t it? 📺
There’s a whole psychological phenomenon of why people hate the sound of their own voice. Apparently Adam Driver won’t watch footage of his own performances. Nine out of ten video people I meet say they like their work because it allows them to stay behind the camera instead of in front of it.
I think being in front of a camera is a valuable skill. 🎥 As it becomes more prominent thanks to tech, I think it’ll be public speaking’s cousin as an important ability. And it’s worth getting over that awkwardness to develop it.
Also- video is just great. When I look at old clips, they take me back to places I used to live, to how small my nephews used to be, to things I get excited about in a way that photos alone don’t. Sure, I don’t want to mindlessly ONLY see the world through a viewfinder, but I can also recognize when I’m in a moment I’ll regret not recording.
I made it a goal to do much more with video this year. I started a little vlog for Plant With Purpose. 🎞 I also made it a goal of mine to upload my own stuff to YouTube once a week.
Soon enough, I have hopes to dedicate my channel to travel, sustainability and nonprofit marketing, with a garnish of dad life. For the time being, though, my main goal is to learn how to have fun behind a camera, fun in the editing booth, and fun hitting publish.
So far, so fun.
Resolution
You know what the most important thing is to me that I’m doing right now?
It’s that I’m here talking to you. 🗿
This line- or one kind of like it- was the one that stood out to me the most when watching Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood. Fred Rogers makes it clear that the reporter he was talking to had his full attention. It’s one of those things that made Mr. Rogers who he was.
It’s also a pretty big clue pointing towards how to become more like the person I want to be. 🌱
I have a friend who does a phenomenal job with making other people feel like they’re really being seen. He asks deeper questions than the usual things people ask when meeting someone new. He remembers names and details. He checks in asking for updates on things you would’ve told him you were excited about. He’s a people person with plenty of people in his life but it always feels like there’s room for another. That quality is super rare these days. It feels like his superpower.
This is something I’d like to get much better at. This year, my one resolution was to make the people I’m sharing a moment with the thing that really matters.
The real life Fred Rogers once said appreciation is a holy thing. When we look for what’s best in a person at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time. 🌍
So here’s a reminder to myself and whoever else might need it- the people you run into today are sacred. Take the time to see and appreciate.
Twenty Nineteen
If the 2010’s were a series based on my twenties, last year would’ve been a really fitting finale.
🗺 Places Visited: Lake Tahoe, California; Charleston, South Carolina; Charleston, West Virginia; Viotá, Colombia; Jackson Hole, Wyoming; Atlanta, Georgia
🍖 Favorite Meal: Rodney Scott’s BBQ (Charleston, South Carolina)
📀 Favorite Album: Maggie Rogers, Heard it in a Past Life
🕺🏾Favorite Concert: Vampire Weekend in San Diego
🥊New Skills Learned: Boxing, Adobe Premiere, Infant Care
📙Best Read: American Spy by Lauren Wilkinson
🎞Favorite Movie: Parasite
This is the last post of my #philippesdecade series- a bit late, but who makes these rules?
All the adventures of the past ten years seemed to lead up to the birth of Rhys
All the other wins kind of seem to pale in comparison- but they were still worth celebrating. I got to be blown away by the stories of reconciliation between former combatants and communities torn by conflict in Colombia. I got to check of my 48th and 49th states in West Virginia and Wyoming. I got to launch a podcast built around telling the stories from the front lines of a climate crisis.
Of course, it’s not a finale. It’s a springboard to a whole new era. With Rhys in the world, things are different. I’m excited to move forward and to be where I am now. I’m happy about the work I get to do, I’m happy about whatever lies ahead and equally happy to just sit and bask in the moment.
I take pictures, write recaps, and celebrate milestones like this for one big reason: gratitude. Life is full.
For Australia
It’s hard not to feel down about Australia, isn’t it?
🇦🇺
4.7 million hectares. Over two dozen human casualties. About a million animals. And some of the most charismatic and sensitive species among them.
Australia holds a special place in my heart. I still remember scenes from a trip I took there as a seventeen year old vividly. The cable car ride through a rainforest. The towering coastal crags. The bandicoots prone to crossing the road at inopportune times.
At the time I had yet to really start my career or interest in global sustainability. I just knew I was in a place full of natural wonder. I have learned a couple of things since that totally apply today. 🐨🐨🐨
First, indigenous communities and First Nations are so important in stewarding land. This rung true in the Amazon, in places I’m more familiar with throughout Southeast Asia, and in Australia. They lose the most during natural disaster and often have the most knowledge regarding how to prevent them.
Second, when a crisis isn’t happening, the things we do still profoundly impact the severity of the crises that do emerge. Climate change and forest loss were ongoing long before these current fires, but they make the challenge much worse. 🌎🌍🌏
I’m trying to practice #highlightingthehelpers- shouting out a worthwhile cause/org once a month and I can’t help but feel that those responding in Australia are worthy of this first feature. I’ve been asked a lot lately for places and opportunities to help. Here are a few:
🐾 WIRES Wildlife Rescue - for wildlife relief and rehab
🌱 Seed Mob - for climate justice
🐨 Port Macquarie Koala Hospital
📸 NRMA
Any others? Also, here’s a 17 year old me with a koala.
More and Less
What do you want more of? Less of?
You can’t just keep adding to your life. At a certain point, if you’re going to add certain things, you need to let go of other things.
〰️
This has been one of my great, ongoing challenges. Optimism is my default, so I have this huge tendency to always think… yeah, sure, we can say yes to that too. No big deal! I only start to feel it when I realize I’m not quite doing any of the things I signed up for as well as I’d like. But here’s what I’m working on:
➕More unstructured time. Just open evenings hanging out with Deanna, Rhys, and Beignet and seeing where they take us.
➖Fewer repetitive projects. I’ve already started scaling back things like the frequency of my newsletter, social media content for Plant With Purpose, and my writing schedule, just so I can make higher-quality things with more love and attention.
➕More time outside, more nights spent under the stars, more fresh air, more mud caked shoes, and more nature.
➖Fewer books, fewer movies. But with the goal of choosing the right sources of inspiration and ideas, and consuming them with more attention.
➕More getting out there to meet people. More effort to making sure everyone I spend time around feels seen and valued.
➖Less pressure on myself to get everything done so efficiently. It’s my biggest obstacle to being present for others.
➕More doing the simple things I love- going to overlooked places, discovering human stories that move me, creatively sharing them. Less trying to add things to that equation. If other areas of interest are meant to be in my life somehow, they come back around.
There are just a few things in life that there is always more room for. Love. Adventure. Pho. But mostly, picking something up takes putting something down.
Rhys' First National Park
What difference does it make to grow up with lots of exposure to the beauty of nature, wild spaces, and public lands? All kinds!
It’s something I’ve seen as a common thread between so many people I’ve gotten to talk to through the #grassrootspodcast -
I’ve eagerly awaited being able to take Rhys on camping trips and on New Years we got to take him to his first National Park:
☀️Joshua Tree ☀️
Here’s a video recap featuring my worst Airbnb yet, the most beautiful spot we’ve changed a diaper, and why making tequila out of a Joshua Tree is a bad idea.
📽
The Process
I’m trying to focus on goals a little less. Lemme explain.
My life has shown me that goals and dreaming dreams is worth it. They give direction. Last year, I became a dad. Three years ago, I got a dream job- telling stories about global sustainability for @plantwpurpose. I’ve gotten to travel, to create, to contribute to causes I care about. I’m thankful for all of this. And I’m happy I still have plenty more dreams to pursue.
I want to see our family grow. In size. In intimacy. I want Rhys to see his childhood home as a HQ for security, generosity, and love.
I want to keep doing creative work for Plant With Purpose- making videos, online content, podcasts that move people. I want that to lead to unprecedented growth so we can do even better work with even more people.
And I want to take what I learn and help other nonprofits and do-gooders tell better stories. I want people to learn how to promote their cause effectively. Ethically. I’d love a speaking, consulting, teaching platform where I could do that.
BUT- my current challenge is to be less focused on goals and more focused on the process.
Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. Setting up good systems, habits, or processes changes the way you do things, which actually leads to consistent and lasting results. And for me, I think that would look like truly showing up and being totally locked in to the moment in front of me. As a dad. As a storyteller. As an advocate.
When I sit down to write, I want to truly enjoy the thought that goes into each word. I want to care less about meeting my quota of articles written that week. When I visit a place, I want my mind fully there. When I spend time with Rhys and Deanna, I want them to know they have all of me. When I’m in front of another person, I want them to feel like they’re all that matters at the moment.
Doing things this way will take some getting used to, but I think that it’s how I get where I want to be.
Two Months of Rhys
In what world do I have a two month old baby boy? THIS ONE. Rhys has so much personality now and it seems like each day he picks up new quirks that make me smile.
I took this photo for his two month milestone. Fun fact: I’ve taken a photo every day since January 2010 and this photo was the one that officially made it a decade-long project. Funny enough, this was perhaps one of the hardest photos of the whole decade for me to take, and I’ve pointed a camera at former guerilla soldiers, North Korea, and some terrifying baboons. But I didn’t have much time to take one of him in a better mood, so his two month portrait will be in monster-mode.
Contrary to the image, I often feel like we actually lucked out and got a pretty adaptable kid. He has moments like these, of course, but compared to what I hear from other parents, we could have it way worse.
This past month, we discovered that he’s a pretty good traveler. He was a champ on the road to Bakersfield for Christmas. He let us sit through services at church, movies at the drive-in, and office Christmas parties. He let us go on a date night for the first time since having him. When our house took some water damage and needed repairs, he was a gracious host while we slept on the floor of his nursery.
I’m loving the moments of being this kid’s dad. It’s been two months but I still can’t believe we get to have him in our lives.
#worldofrhys
Twenty Eighteen
We’re getting settled into 2020. Over the past week you’ve seen everyone recap their 2019s and stare down their 2020s. So why am I writing about 2018 at perhaps the least relevant time?
Simple. I’ve been recapping #philippesdecade year-by-year and I probably should have started sooner to be on 2019 now. Then again, maybe the timing is perfect. The last time I wrote a recap of 2018 was at the end of that year and I felt devastated. But now, I look back at that year a little differently.
2018 was a very important year for me and my family, though when it ended, I was more than happy to be done with it. Between trying unsuccessfully to have a kid most of that year, Deanna getting pretty sick late in the year, and feeling isolated and lonely, it was hard to stay hopeful.
But now, I think of that year as the Infinity War to 2019’s Endgame. It was packed. Anticipated. Bleak at the end. And while that was its final note, it was also pretty exciting. The highlight reel would’ve looked great.
I fulfilled a years-long dream of going to Iceland. I also got to fulfill the dream of taking Deanna to my old Italian stomping grounds. In between I went to my friend Tim’s wedding in England and it was on of the most fun weddings I’d been to.
I set a new PR for a half marathon time at the San Diego Half. I got to learn much more about using a creative career to advance important causes at events like Plywood Presents in Atlanta and STORY in Nashville. Deanna and I celebrated our fourth anniversary in Vancouver.
I took a Plant With Purpose trip to Haiti that showed me how to keep choosing hope.
That year reminded me that the highlight reel can look great while the inner battle is tough. But either way, the story continues.
Hello 2020
Hello 2020.
Brand new year. Brand new adventure. 🌄
This is exactly the way I would want to start the new year and new decade. Quality time with Deanna, Rhys, and Beignet. Roaming around a National Park. Camera in hand. Snow on the ground.
It’s a simple image of the best things that have happened to me over the past ten years, and what I want to spend the next ten years invested in.
I’m the kind of person who always wants to believe that the best is yet to come. It feels so appropriate to start the new decade with a two-month old. With a new opportunity to pass along those good things.
This year will introduce each of us to new people, new places, new versions of ourselves. We’ll be invited into relationships, adventures, tasks. I guess the ultimate quest is to do what the National Parks have been instructing us all along– leave it all better than you found it.
January 2020
#1 Joshua Tree
01 January 2020 // Joshua Tree National Park, California
Hello 2020.
Brand new year. Brand new adventure.
This is exactly the way I would want to start the new year and new decade. Quality time with Deanna, Rhys, and Beignet. Roaming around a National Park. Camera in hand. Snow on the ground.
It’s a simple image of the best things that have happened to me over the past ten years, and what I want to spend the next ten years invested in.
I’m the kind of person who always wants to believe that the best is yet to come. It feels so appropriate to start the new decade with a two-month old. With a new opportunity to pass along those good things.
This year will introduce each of us to new people, new places, new versions of ourselves. We’ll be invited into relationships, adventures, tasks. I guess the ultimate quest is to do what the National Parks have been instructing us all along– leave it all better than you found it.
#2 Back on the Trail
02 January 2020 // San Diego, California
The fireworks went off about a minute and a half into a YouTube video titled- What to do when your RV’s generator goes out? I could hear them reverberating all throughout Desert Hot Springs as the clock struck midnight. Meanwhile, I was playing electrician on a camper we had rented for the evening.
It was a humorously anticlimactic way to end what had been an extremely eventful decade. Like an epic TV show ending with the most mundane finale. We were spending New Years Day in Joshua Tree a half hour away. The camper we rented seemed like a good deal, but the faulty electricity would end up making it the worst Airbnb I’ve ever rented.
While fireworks continued to go off, I flipped the switch to the breaker again, hoping I could get the camper to stay powered longer than twenty minutes. It would be pretty cold in that camper if we couldn’t use the heater.
In the end, my efforts were never successful for very long. The power would go out again and we wound up using every blanket we could find for warmth and my laptop screen’s brightness for light.
At two months old, Rhys took this all like a champ. His parents, on the other hand, had a rough time with this arrangement.
We weren’t the most rested the next day as we drove into Joshua Tree National Park. But I did feel my energy reignite once we made it through the entryway.
Snow blanketed the large open desertscapes. It managed to make the usually dusty, dry area feel cleansed. The stretches of sky, the towering rocks, and the piles of pristine snow made the park feel just like the year- an open, clean slate.
#3 Rhys Rolls
03 January 2020 // San Diego, California
The blank white page is an artist’s biggest invitation, but it can also be an intimidating sight. The pressure to put something beautiful on it. The pressure not to mess up. A new year feels like that too, except the work of art is your life.
At the start of the last decade, I approached that blank slate with a sense of urgency. I knew a few things I wanted: a good relationship, a creative outlet, a career in helping others, and a chance to see the world. Like, a lot of the world. I gave myself goals like writing a book, going to grad school, and visiting new countries every year. And then I did those things.
Now, the 2010s will be a tough act for me to follow. I know at some point late in life, I’ll look back on that decade so fondly. I mean, I already look back on it fondly. In the 2010s, I lived a variety of places, from Oregon to South Africa, Santa Barbara to Italy, Argentina to San Diego, Bakersfield to a van that took me everywhere. I ran two half marathons. I visited three dozen countries and every state except Alaska. I wrote a book and launched a podcast. I took a photo every single day. I finished two bachelor’s and two master’s degrees. I fought for human rights in North Korea, environmental justice in rural villages, and better education in South African slums and Thailand’s refugee camps. I got married, adopted a dog, and had a kid. I landed my dream job of doing creative work for a nonprofit focused on international sustainability.
Please forgive me if that sounds boastful. I just needed to highlight what a big and eventful decade it’s been. Also- this is why the idea of trying to make the next decade even better seems like a tall order. Does it even need to be better? That act of comparison does seem like a recipe for disappointment, doesn’t it.
Well, I really don’t like the thought that my best days might be behind me. I want to know that there are more adventures ahead. When I hear the words the best is yet to come I really want them to be true.
So many of my dreams have come true, by the decade. I turn 30 this year and except for small bits like getting a tattoo or visiting Alaska, I do have just about everything I hoped for at this point in life. Family. Career. Experiences. At the same time, new dreams come into focus. And those dreams remind me that there is still room to level up. I can surprise myself all over again.
#4 Winter Running
04 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Last year, I became a dad. Three years ago, I got my dream job- telling stories about global sustainability for Plant With Purpos. I’ve gotten to travel, to create, to contribute to causes I care about. I’m thankful for all of this. One of the things I’ve learned in life is that setting goals and dreaming dreams is worth it. They give direction. And I’m happy I still have plenty more dreams to pursue.
I want to see our family grow. Both in size and in intimacy. I want Rhys to be secure and to see our family as a breeding grounds for generosity and hope.
I want to keep doing creative work for Plant With Purpose that captures people’s imagination. I want to make videos and online content and podcasts that leave people unable to sit still.
I want to help other nonprofits and do-gooders tell better stories. I want people to learn how to promote their cause effectively. Ethically. To be invited to speak and coach and consult and share what I’ve learned.
Sometimes these dreams feel far away. Other times it feels like I’ve already made it a long way. My current challenge, however, is to focus on goals and more on the process.
Something James Clear says struck a chord with me: achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. Setting up good systems, habits, or processes changes the way you do things, which actually leads to consistent and lasting results. And for me, I think that would look like truly showing up and being totally locked in to the moment in front of me. As a dad. As a storyteller. As a voice for sustainability. I can’t help but think that would lead to some of my best work yet.
When I sit down to write, I want to truly enjoy the thought that goes into each word. I want to care less about meeting my quota of articles written that week. When I spend time with Rhys and Deanna, I want them to know they have all of me. When I’m in front of another person, I want them to feel like they’re all that matters at the moment. Building this habit as a default way of doing things will take some getting used to, but I think building habits like these is ultimately how you get to where you want to go.
#5 Free Coffee for Life
05 January 2020 // San Diego, California
We went out today to take advantage of our “free coffee for life” at Burly and the Bean. Two guys were at the table next to us, and Justin was running the shop. We slowly started talking about nearby campsites and adventure spots and man, our list is now full.
Aguas Calientes outside Borrego Hot Springs.
Fonts Point.
Ladder Canyon Trail.
Glamis.
These are all within just a couple hours of us, and that distance (or lack thereof) gets more and more appealing with Rhys on board.
We’ll probably spend a little longer getting adjusted to the slower pace now that the holidays are over and we’re getting back into the groove of both of us working.
But I’m eager to get back out there. Especially as Rhys gets easier to walk with.
#6 A Visitor at Work
06 January 2020 // San Diego, California
A theory I’ve been fascinated by lately is the idea that we all have a different relationship with time. I’m definitely not the first person to think about this. I’ve seen this idea hinted at in other personality tests or leadership development materials, but here’s the way I’ve started understanding it:
People tend to be biased with where they focus their attention and thoughts. Some of us naturally think mostly about the past. Others are all about the current moment. Then there are those of us who are mostly interested in the future and things ahead.
Like the Enneagram and other helpful personality profiles demonstrate, I think any one of these time orientations can have helpful and harmful aspects.
Like, if in conversation you can easily turn into an encyclopedia of memories and anecdotes, or if you strongly relate to the phrase “there’s nothing new under the sun,” you’re probably past-oriented. Your strengths are that you’re great at learning from your past decisions and that of others. The drawback to seeing life this way is that it can be harder for you to factor in the way things evolve, to take advantage of new opportunities, or to plan ahead too ambitiously.
If I could choose any time orientation, I’d probably choose to be present-oriented. I’d love the whole Ram Dass idea of being fully present wherever I find myself. I also admire people who can make others feel like they have their full attention and interest. Any drawbacks are probably related to being a bit too shortsighted or being too subject to the trends and loud things of the season.
As it turns out, I’m future-oriented and it’s pretty easy for me to see that. I get so much excitement from making lists of adventures I want to go on, I’m pretty good at coming up with plans and strategies, and I usually long for something to look forward to. I think I can be pretty good at getting to a destination but I need to challenge myself more to enjoy the journey.
I don’t know if you have much control over which tendency you’re biased towards, but you can be more aware of your unconscious spots and how to compensate for them. And you can harness your strengths for good.
#7 The Alleyway
07 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Have you ever felt like you’ve had to hold back having fun?
“How would you describe what you bring to the table in one word,” I was asked once in a job interview. The word “fun” came right out of my mouth like a reflex.
I immediately wish I said something else. Fun??? How is this place going to take me seriously? It’s hard enough that I look pretty young.
The interviewer smiled, “there’s a different answer!” I never heard back.
I have a huge playful streak. Having fun is actually a pretty big motivator for me, and there’s so much research behind how having fun boosts creativity and learning and all those good things. But for such a long time, I’ve worried that it would keep people from taking me seriously. That it might discredit me, or just be not appropriate.
After all, my work has taken me to a lot of places where things are pretty serious. Refugee camps and orphan centers and the front lines of a climate crisis.
But then, I remember the role of characters like Tom Bombadil in the Fellowship of the Ring. He brings lightheartedness and levity and brightness into dark situations. He can laugh at the ring. He encourages other characters with songs and jokes. He was written to confound others. How can this guy be so void of stress about the ring and other grave matters? What’s behind this guy’s bizarre and beautiful joy?
And I remember moments. Like the time I got to help a friend from North Korea put together his first LEGO set. Or when I got to sing with a full classroom in a refugee camp. Or when I accidentally started a conversation about time travel with ex-combatants.
This year, some scary things will happen. Controversy will happen. People will be anxious and angry and sad. And their reasons will be totally valid. But what if one of the best ways to fight against those ills is with a sense of joy and light that confounds people?
What if we made it a goal to have more fun in unlikely scenarios? What would it look like to turn more of our work into play? Not for the sake of ignorance or incompetence, but because we have an inner joy that brings light to dark places.
#8 Lou-Z-Ana Kitchen
08 January 2020 // San Diego, California
You know what the most important thing is to me that I’m doing right now? It’s that I’m talking to you.
This line- or one kind of like it- was the one that stood out to me the most when watching Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood. Fred Rogers makes it clear that the reporter he was talking to had his full attention. It’s one of those things that made Mr. Rogers who he was.
It’s also a pretty big clue pointing towards how to become more like the person I want to be.
I have a friend who does a phenomenal job with making other people feel like they’re really being seen. He asks deeper questions than the usual things people ask when meeting someone new. He remembers names and details. He checks in asking for updates on things you would’ve told him you were excited about. He’s a people person with plenty of people in his life but it always feels like there’s room for another. That quality is super rare these days. It feels like his superpower.
It’s not as much of an instinct for me to be like that. But I’d love to try and get better at it. In fact, it’s the closest thing I have to an overarching goal this year.
The real life Fred Rogers once said appreciation is a holy thing. When we look for what’s best in a person at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time.
So here’s a reminder to myself and whoever else might need it- the people you run into today are sacred. Take the time to see and appreciate.
#9 End of Maternity Leave
09 January 2020 // San Diego, California
When was the last time you had pure unbridled fun? What if you actually made it a point to have fun more often?
I like to think of myself as a pretty fun person, but I’ve noticed that I can sometimes get so focused on trying to get a whole list of things DONE each day that I forget to make that process FUN.
I’m challenging myself to take aim at having fun more often. I’m trying to catch myself in the middle of work tasks, checking in with the question- are you having any fun?
At first that might seem like a frivolous question. It did to me, initially. But I think that by trying to make the process of creating things, solving problems, or interacting with people a bit more like play, you end up bringing your better self to the table. Spontaneous. Creative. Engaged.
It’s one of those simple, subtle shifts in thinking that results in big changes.
If I aim to have more fun when writing or making videos, it’ll result in bolder, more lively and creative content. The art of putting stuff together will feel more like a jam session.
If I aim to have more fun while studying nature, discovering new sustainability practices, and diving deeper into different cultures- I’ll be able to do so with more open-mindedness, curiosity, and appreciation.
If I aim to have more fun when interacting with people, it’ll help me be more present in those moments, and it’ll make bonds and connections grow stronger. This is probably especially true when I’m with Rhys. All his learning happens via playtime.
It’s good to get stuff done. But I think a lot of times you get things done even better if you can make them fun.
#10 Law Street
10 January 2020 // San Diego, California
To protect and celebrate life in all its forms.
Have you ever tried to draft a personal mission statement? A mission statement is something I help organizations with often. It gives your team direction. It lets people on the outside know what you’re all about.
The funny thing is, I’ve never had a harder time coming up with one than when I’ve tried to come up with one for myself.
I’ve been sitting with the one above for some time, and I keep liking it more and more.
I started to realize that all I do stems from a love for life. My practice of taking a photo a day evolved from a desire to practice appreciation and good stewardship of my own life. My love of travel fills me with even more appreciation for the diversity of life that’s out there- whether those be human tribes or the biodiversity of wild forests.
I find that the best creative storytelling celebrates the fullness of life- even the sad or difficult parts. That’s something I try to do, whether it’s through my podcast or YouTube channel.
I find that being someone who protects life can look like so many different things: from educating future leaders to protecting forests to stopping poaching to assisting refugees to human rights law to fostering kids to researching cures to helping people hit breakthroughs in mental health to being a good dad.
This diverse mix of things are the things I wake up for. It’s hard to find something I do, or something I really love and celebrate that doesn’t really fit this mission:
To protect and celebrate life in all its forms.
#11 Zara Turns One
11 January 2020 // San Diego, California
This week, Deanna went back to work. My mom started watching Rhys on those days that both of us are in the office.
She got used to his cycle of play, sleep, eat.
She learned more about what actually gets him to doze off.
I figured out how to take advantage of the commute to her place.
When we moved back to San Diego, we said it was largely to be closer to family, for the sake of starting our own family. To be totally transparent, I was lukewarm in excitement towards it. I just couldn’t argue with the practicality. I love my family for sure, but I had gotten used to keeping up with them despite distance for ten years. That never seemed to get in the way. The idea of blazing my own trail and planting my roots down somewhere else seemed made to me.
But we’re back here and we’ve been back for almost three years. And to be honest, my excitement for being here has warmed very, very slowly.
But it has warmed. These are the reasons why:
This week, Zara turned a year old. We went to her party.
My aunt started listing a roll call of all of the family’s new generation of second cousins. Just an hour or so after I told Deanna this is what large Filipino families do for sport.
Rhys fell asleep listening to his grandma gossip with her sisters.
Deanna and I went back later that night to watch the Aladdin remake with Ivy & JB. The movie got all sorts of criticism, but watching it with Rhys helped me see how a kid could still see it with wonder.
Here’s to raising him closer to family. It’ll be the kind of thing we never really regret.
#12 Grocery Outlet Bargain Market
12 January 2020 // San Diego, California
It’s hard not to feel down about Australia, isn’t it?
4.7 million hectares. Over two dozen human casualties. About a million animals. And some of the most charismatic and sensitive species among them.
Australia holds a special place in my heart. I still remember scenes from a trip I took there as a seventeen year old vividly. The cable car ride through a rainforest. The towering coastal crags. The bandicoots prone to crossing the road at inopportune times.
At the time I had yet to really start my career or interest in global sustainability. I just knew I was in a place full of natural wonder. I have learned a couple of things since that totally apply today.
First, indigenous communities and First Nations are so important in stewarding land. This rung true in the Amazon, in places I’m more familiar with throughout Southeast Asia, and in Australia. They lose the most during natural disaster and often have the most knowledge regarding how to prevent them.
Second, when a crisis isn’t happening, the things we do still profoundly impact the severity of the crises that do emerge. Climate change and forest loss were ongoing long before these current fires, but they make the challenge much worse.
I want better things for Australia. I’m cheering on all the helpers. From the First Nations organizers to the koala healers.
#13 Point Loma Flower Run
13 January 2020 // San Diego, California
You know what kinds of photos give me the most joy to capture?
I only found this out after ten years of taking pictures, starting as a hobbyist and discovering how photography fits within my broader career as a storyteller. I experimented with different styles. Went through different stylistic phases. Totally abandoned some aesthetics.
I get the most enjoyment out of working with human subjects who live lives that seem ordinary, but really contain volumes. I especially love capturing these moments across borders and cultures. I love how the same image can remind us of how we can be born into such different circumstances, while still sharing the same threads that make us human.
I see a similar thing being done (albeit at a much higher level) by A Great Big Story. I remember reading somewhere that while they tell a wide variety of stories, they’re all supposed to leave the viewer with a sense of feeling awestruck.
I want all of the stories I capture to lead people to remember how life is sacred, and to believe we are all connected.
Every so often, I’ll get the opportunity to travel and go on a “story collecting” trip. I’ll be invited to a community, get the chance to meet people and hear their experiences, and try and gather the media assets to best retell their stories across different platforms. It’s possibly my favorite part of my work.
In recent years, I’ve been able to tell stories from Colombia, Haiti, and Thailand. Transitioning to becoming a dad has meant I’ve been on hiatus from this part of my work for a little while- and I’ll probably continue to lie low for at least a few more months. But I still have a deep excitement for it. And I can’t wait to get back out there.
#14 Traffic After Work
14 January 2020 // San Diego, California
It’s awkward to see yourself recorded, isn’t it?
There’s a whole psychological phenomenon of why people hate the sound of their own voice. Apparently Adam Driver won’t watch footage of his own performances. Nine out of ten video people I meet say they like their work because it allows them to stay behind the camera instead of in front of it.
I think being in front of a camera is a valuable skill. And it’s worth getting over that awkwardness to develop it.
So many more forms of communication and creativity make room for video. Compare how much more footage you’re seeing of people thanks to Instagram Stories and TikTok versus four or five years ago.
Also- video is just great. When I look at old clips, they take me back to places I used to live, to how small my nephews used to be, to things I get excited about in a way that photos alone don’t. Sure, I don’t want to mindlessly ONLY see the world through a viewfinder, but I can also recognize when I’m in a moment I’ll regret not recording.
I made it a goal to do much more with video lately. I started a little vlog for Plant With Purpose. I also made it a goal of mine to upload my own stuff to YouTube once a week. Search for my same username on YouTube. Soon enough, I have hopes to dedicate my channel to travel, sustainability and nonprofit marketing, with a garnish of dad life. For the time being, though, my main goal is to learn how to have fun behind a camera, fun in the editing booth, and fun hitting publish.
So far, so fun.
#15 Tummy Time
15 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Deanna and I got a little mixed up with our schedules. It led to me taking care of Rhys solo for almost the whole day- my first time doing so for so long a stretch.
It was hard.
I loved it.
We ended up going out a few times- to the doctor in the morning then to a Faith and Climate Change panel in the evening. The first of those two outings was considerably easier. At the Climate Change discussion, he wound up getting fussy and providing lots of little grunts and squeals to the audience. (I get it man, I’m mad about climate change too.)
He got angry with me when I tried to put him in the wrap so we could walk the dog. He screamed throughout a diaper change. He took a long time to fall asleep. By the time he did, it would only be for about 20 minutes before it was time to eat again.
Multiple times throughout the day, I caught myself thinking- this isn’t easy, but this is the best part of my life right now. I kept thinking about how after two and a half months he’s already grown a ridiculous amount and how I needed to mentally hit pause on this day so many times because he won’t be this small much longer.
I thought of the year I spent praying for this. The minute-by-minute demands might be a lot to juggle, but it’s a challenge I’m so blessed to have.
We had some super sweet moments too. A playtime every few hours. He let me beatbox and boop his face like it was an 808 machine. He loved it.
And by the end of the day, I also managed to solve a graphic design crisis, keep a dog and baby alive, write an essay about indigenous land use I’m proud of, and talk to a leading climate activist.
Not too bad. They say being a dad shrinks your world and limits your ability to do stuff. Maybe. But it also turns a day like today into a year’s worth of sweetness.
#16 Katharine Hayhoe at Plant With Purpose
16 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Katharine Hayhoe visited San Diego and the Plant With Purpose office this week. It was excellent having her around. She is probably at the highest level as someone who can speak about climate from a faith standpoint, and someone I can learn a lot from.
I appreciate the way she gives language and data backed understanding about how attitudes surrounding climate really work. It makes it much easier to understand how to talk about these issues when you can see how they are linked with people’s identities.
My favorite idea she shared was of the Six America’s of Climate Change. Basically, there’s little use and little reward that comes from talking to the extreme viewpoints. There is a lot of value in talking to the groups labeled as “concerned” and “cautious.” Finding other voices that validate their feelings and experiences, that make talking about climate anxiety less of a rarity, that make it normal to make changes in your life actually can have tremendous influence.
#17 Freddy & Johnna Visit
17 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Freddy and Johnna visited San Diego from Atlanta this weekend. Technically, it’s only the third time I’ve hung out with Freddy, but each time has been so life-giving. At each opportunity we seemed to have the exact conversation I needed at the time.
I’m so thankful for that. It was really just an off-the-cuff intro by Callie at Plywood that led to us knowing each other, but I think we’ve been able to completely make the most of each minute we’ve spent in the same space.
I’m also amused by the mystery of it all. How can such an enriching connection come about so fast in such sparse doses. Is Atlanta just like that? Much more relational than the West Coast? Was it the conference buzz and energy? Is this just Freddy’s superpower?
Largely, I want to know so I can be better at making those connections in my own backyard. I also wanna be the type of person who can offer a life-giving hangout over coffee, even if I only get one shot at that each year.
But also, I appreciate that these questions are kind of a mystery. Friendship just isn’t the territory of formula, and that’s for the better.
#18 Living Room Date
18 January 2020 // La Jolla, California
Tonight we went on our second date night since having Rhys.
Normally, I try to be creative and surprising with our date nights. They usually happen in two to three phases and I used to pride myself on doing more than just dinner and a movie.
I’m sure that the desire to be creative and adventurous isn’t dead, but merely dormant as we get used to Baby life. Our first date night literally was dinner and a movie. (Albeit, a very good movie and very good dinner.)
We instead went around La Jolla on foot. We stopped for a treat at The Living Room and discovered they have some of the best truffle fries I’ve ever had. We also went to Puesto and spent some time walking nearby the ocean.
We talked about how Deanna was feeling about work. About how she really wants the extra time with Rhys and I totally get it. We just need to figure out how to make the money thing work. So much is up in the air.
Here’s what I’m thinking, though. I think it’ll be a big year for us. An important one. And we’ll see a few big changes- especially on Deanna’s side of things- that result in is being where we need to be.
I feel a few big steps forward coming. Especially financially and with health. We just gotta wait and see.
#19 Santa Margarita Trail
19 January 2020 // Fallbrook, California
Things I’ve learned:
Excellence isn’t being better than everyone else. It’s knowing that you didn’t cheat on your potential.
Maturity isn’t an aura of seriousness. It’s learning how to add up all the facts and still be joyful.
Wisdom isn’t knowing more facts. It’s seeing things in front of you more clearly.
Courage isn’t the lack of fear. It’s the decision to go ahead anyways.
Abundance isn’t having more. It’s wanting less.
Strength isn’t lacking vulnerability. It’s being able to keep a soft heart beneath thick skin.
Peace isn’t the absence of conflict. It’s the reward for fighting for the right things.
#20 Hot Coffee, Cold Beer
20 January 2020 // San Diego, California
“I don’t know, I think I prefer the Civil Rights Leaders from before,” I heard a friend say while comparing the movements of Black Lives Matter to the 1960s Civil Rights Era.
Are you sure?
It’s Martin Luther King Day and while I have no shortage of favorite quotes and anecdotes I typically enjoy sharing, what has my attention is a statistic.
His disapproval rating just before he died.
75%
That’s disapproval. People who were actively opposed to what MLK stood for. It’s higher than any disapproval ratings at any point for Barack Obama. Ilhan Omar. Colin Kaepernick. President Johnson totally cut off contact with him- too much of a reputational risk.
The idea that today’s voices for equality are “too much” compared to those from the past is only possible because we’re distant enough from MLK’s era that we can convince ourselves that his was a more moderate approach that always merited the same reverence that his name gets now.
No.
After all, three in four of us would’ve been among the 75% back in 1968. Is our attitude towards today’s less controversial voices, ideas, or movements any indicator?
#21 The Volvo Survives
21 January 2020 // San Diego, California
After our weekend hike, we started the Volvo to the tune of a rumbly engine and a check engine light. I kept my fingers crossed that the repairs wouldn’t be too expensive.
This afternoon I learned: $300 for a pair of new spark plugs and coils.
Bummer. But also, that could’ve been way, way worse.
And this bumps up the urgency with which I want to replace that car.
It’s been the most strangely expensive year in terms of unexpected things. The HOA Assessment: $1200. The unexpected property tax assessment: $2000. The surprise hospital bill: $800. The total of various car repairs: $700. Two ER visits: $500. The water damage: $500 – If you start tallying these things up, it starts to represent a large chunk of our income, on a year that we’re 70% shy thanks to paternity leaves.
I’m thankful to be in a spot in life where we can weather these storms and that we’ve had some rainy day funds set aside. But seriously, this is more than some light rain.
#22 Rhys’ Faves
22 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Do you ever go to bed feeling like you wish you accomplished more that day than you actually did?
I gotta admit, I’ve only recently become aware of how frequently I go to bed feeling that way. Like, nearly every night.
See, every day I set out with a little list of the things I want to get done. And generally, I’m pretty good at getting stuff off that list, and crossing off gives me a little dopamine hit. So then, I add more on the list. And I keep adding more. Soon the list looks like something no reasonable person could get done.
Somehow, there’s always more to be done.
Someone once said that abundance wasn’t about having more. It was about wanting less. Being a dad is helping me with that.
Recently, I spent a day mostly looking after Rhys solo. And he’s a pretty easy baby, given his age. But still, getting him to cycle through his eat-play-sleep routine took quite a bit of effort. Of the things I planned to get done, I got maybe one or two things checked off.
But then, at the end of the day, I had to remind myself: hey, today, I managed to write an essay I’m pretty proud of. I got to talk to a highly respected climate scientist. I got an invitation to be on a podcast. But most of all, I got to be a dad. I got to make Rhys smile while booping his cheek. I kept him fed and alive, and we even got to go out for a bit.
It made a day I would’ve previously thought of as unproductive feel like a big win.
Take a little time at the end of each day to celebrate. Take the time to find the things worth celebrating. It isn’t good to end each day wishing you did more, especially when you’ve actually done a lot. Find the wins.
#23 Don’t Cheat Your Potential
23 January 2020 // San Diego, California
I don’t know if I’ve ever put it into words, but in the back of my mind, one of my goals has always been to make sure I don’t close a chapter of life- better yet, the whole book- wondering what could have been.
I don’t want to think that there’s more energy I could’ve given an endeavor, more weight I could’ve thrown behind a cause, more muscle I could’ve put into a battle worth fighting. I don’t want to think of all the missed opportunities to have been a better dad, to have had a bigger impact, to have shone more light on people.
It’s not always about knocking every pitch out of the park for me. Or even getting a hit every at bat. It’s about not striking out without giving the bat a swing.
When you live life like this, you inevitably run into a lot of failures. You’ll find out what things aren’t for you. You’ll simply know your limits.
But you’ll also know you didn’t miss an opportunity. And those roadblocks are way better than regrets.
#24 Sustainability Shorts
24 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Do you ever see a nonprofit do some marketing practice that feels like a different era?
Or do you ever encounter nonprofit messaging that makes you feel like a lot less like giving to their cause?
Working in the world of nonprofit marketing, I do. Quite a bit. And you might think that this is something that happens to those small, desperate nonprofits that can’t afford anything better, right?
Unfortunately, I see some giants in charity promote themselves in ways that I just don’t understand.
I’m trying to start making more materials to help organizations of any size to avoid these mistakes. Starting with a video that digs into nonprofit marketing practices that need to end ASAP.
#25 Good Moments with Rhys
25 January 2020 // National City, California
People ask me a lot about how I like being a dad. Truly, that feels like the easiest question on earth.
It’s everything. I love it.
It puts all the little morsels of life under a magnifying glass and makes them feel massive.
The small struggles get harder. We do laundry so infrequently now, just because lugging down all our dirty clothes while juggling with the infant isn’t the easiest thing. Things like oil changes and making a balanced dinner while putting the kid to sleep feel on par with some courses I took for my master’s degree.
But also, the sweet stuff- anything remotely endearing, becomes robustly sweet. Getting to hear Rhys attempt to mimic the sounds I make. Seeing how he likes new environment, new places, or takes to new people. Trying on random new outfits as he changes in size yet again.
It’s everything, it’s my life now, and I love it.
#26 Anchor City
26 January 2020 // San Diego, California
Today I got to speak at Anchor City Church.
It was my first speaking gig of the year and I had a great time sharing about faith and climate change.
Some ideas shared:
You often hear of these things you can do to lower your carbon footprint or to be more eco friendly. Bringing around a reusable water bottle or straw. Eating less meat. Driving less. The thing is, I used to know all these things and I would feel bad about what I did or didn’t do, but it didn’t actually change anything.
I learned that your motivation can’t be guilt, and it can’t be trying to be a hero. When you attempt that, you’re bound to fail, and it’s so easy to then get demotivated. But when you partner with God in making all things new, it’s no longer about guilt. When I try to drive less, or to make more mindful purchases, it’s because this is another way for me to steward God’s creation and to serve people like Elie.
So I actually have an invitation. Find something you can do to be a better steward of creation. You can call this a challenge if you like that word. I do personally. I think I’m much more likely to do things when you use the word challenge. Can you change our son’s diaper? Yeah sure. Wanna take the diaper change challenge? What’s that? Bring it on!
The challenge is to find one thing, just one, to be a better steward of creation. Not out of guilt. Not to save the world. Just out of love.
#27 The 2020 Annual Report
27 January 2020 // San Diego, California
I was rehearsing my sermon an hour before giving the talk yesterday, when the push notification hit my phone screen.
Kobe Bryant reportedly killed in California helicopter crash in Calabasas
The report turned out to be true
41 is young, but it felt like Kobe was around forever. On our screens since the late 90s. On the backs of all my middle school friends. On our lips throwing socks in the hamper.
Huge, sad reminder that life is short. Leave it all on your court.
#28 Late Night Groceries
28 January 2020 // San Diego, California
I keep finding myself racing to get stuff done.
If I’m late to drop Rhys off at my mom’s I’ll get a late start on my work.
If I don’t turn on the turbo jets at work, everything will get bumped to the next day and I won’t be on schedule for getting stuff done. It’s the only time of day where I can hone my focus.
If I’m late leaving work, I’m gonna hit all kinds of traffic on the way back to my mom’s.
If I don’t stay long enough, they feel short changed. If I stay too long, Deanna misses out on time with Rhys. Either way I get traffic and I still gotta race. At night I can maybe squeeze in one thing while also thinking about dinner and the dog and what not.
I don’t like days like these.
It’s hard to just sit and be and feel eternity, like time doesn’t matter.
It makes the week go by too fast.
Rhys’ infancy go by too fast.
I don’t have the most obvious solution handy. Maybe next month I try to do even less at work. I care less about traffic and just get there as smoothly as I can. I deliberately stop and do nothing after a while.
I’m just done with the racing.
#29 CO2 Summit
29 January 2020 // La Jolla, California
What do you know about sequestering carbon? Reducing your carbon footprint isn’t enough. There’s already an excess of CO2 in the Earth’s atmosphere that we’ve got to sequester somehow.
I’ve spent a good chunk of this week at a summit in La Jolla learning about the process of verifying how carbon is sequestered to create carbon credits. At first, I thought it would be a real technical meeting with lots of nitpicking over details that went over my head. It actually turned out to be one of the most encouraging things I’ve heard about the environment in a long time.
Have you ever heard that stat that 100 companies create 70% of the world’s carbon emissions? That means even if I successfully rallied every individual to go on strict vegan diets, switch to clean energy, and forever surrender plastic (none of which I’ve totally done myself), it would only take care of a pretty small part of the problem.
At this summit, though, I was able to hear a variety of perspectives that helped me see how more and more companies are strategizing how to be carbon neutral or negative over the next decade. And not just the few stand-out ones that seem especially conscious, but even some giants: Microsoft, Volkswagen, JetBlue, Siemens, just to name a few.
I got to meet one expert in the field I really hope to have on my podcast soon. I loved the way she put it: Forget what you hear about from Congress. Pretty much every company is thinking about this right now. You have to. MIcrosoft pledged to go carbon neutral, you better bet some folks at Google are trying to figure out how to one-up. It’s not a matter of altruism for a lot of them, but a matter of survival. There won’t be much business to do in ten years if there isn’t much of a planet.
Honestly, I think these big shifts come at the tail of years and years of organizing, speaking up, and awareness raising at the grassroots level. I’m not surprised that a lot of these commitments were made just months after the student-led climate strike. Moving the needle is always worth it. It’s easy to underrate the importance of speaking up for what matters, but don’t. It regularly produces incredible change.
#30 Dolphins & Tacos
30 January 2020 // La Jolla, California
One of the best moments all week was my lunch break during the second day of the CO2 summit in La Jolla.
Milmer invited me to go with him to his old spot where he’d sit and watch dolphins go by.
We had to run to get out there. A 30 minute lunch break only left so much time to go watch dolphins.
We ended up at the Torrey Pines Gliderport with only about 15 minutes to spend out there.
But it was the right 15 minutes.
In just a short while after we got there, he pointed out a pod of dolphins in the distance. We weren’t sure if they would make their way over to us, but they picked up speed much faster than expected. Before we knew it, we were looking down right at them.
Also, I had a whole plate of tacos with me.
It was a quick moment of realizing that I was pretty lucky to be able to take lunch breaks like these. It’s a good life.
#31 Three Months of Rhys
31 January 2020 // San Diego, California
I have a three month old now.
We started off month number three with a RAD W in the Rose Bowl 🌹, watching a burning magnificent sunset at Joshua Tree 🌅, and learning how to roll. Also managed to celebrate Cousin Zara turning one, stealing the show at a couple of speaking events, and finding a great new trail in Fallbrook. 🏔
I’ve loved being a dad from the get-go but we’re at an especially fun stage right now. So much physical development over the past couple weeks.
He loves it when I beatbox and pretend his face is my drum machine. 🎛 He managed to throw a ball for the first time (barely missed the goal I made with my hands, but you miss all the shots you don’t take, y’know?) 🏀 He decided on a favorite toy and its a French puppy. 🐶 He has started putting together sounds that sound like the word “good.” With a little coaching, I’ve been trying to see if he can give me an I AM GROOT. 🌱
I’ve loved seeing so much personality come out lately. Quality playtimes every day.