Four Months of Rhys

Remember that time we had that baby Rhys join our lives? That was FOUR MONTHS AGO.

He keeps leveling up.

1️⃣🆙

The past month was a quieter one for us, Rhys took advantage of the time to do some serious growin’.

🍄⭐️🐢

He started sprouting little teeth. Didn’t think it could happen this early, but he kept messing with his tongue and there were some definite white teeth bits poking through.

Also we have a crawl kid now! [cue the underground theme 🎶] He’s been rolling around more often but can now officially bust out an army crawl.

I just love being this guy’s dad.

#worldofrhys

March 2020

#61 Lake Hodges Hike

01 March 2020 // Escondido, California

What if you made it your absolute mission in life to let people know that you’re glad they’re here? That they exist. That you’ve had the chance to meet them.

Think of how dogs light up when good people are around. What if you gave off that same energy?

What if we didn’t care at all about impressing anyone, about winning any arguments, or about proving anything? The only goal we put forward is to let people know we’re glad they’re around.

I’d bet a lot of the other things we worry about in our interactions would get better too.

#62 Miramar Eucalyptus

02 March 2020 // San Diego, California

What are the best books you’ve read so far this year?

I definitely can’t devour my reading list the way I used to before Rhys was born, so that’s made me want to be more selective about what I start reading. And I’ve also had to get better at abandoning books that just aren’t doing it for me.

Here’s what I’ve read in the first few weeks of the year.

Atomic Habits by James Clear – James Clear is probably one of my five favorite people I follow on Twitter. A whole book of his insight was a real treat. It was a really actionable read, and probably one of the most appropriate choices for the start of a new year.

The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez – First novel of the year, featuring some really empathetic characters of migrants to the USA. A little grim, but so human.

Rooted in the Earth by Dianne D. Glave – A short but deep dive into the African-American environmental heritage. As I’m learning that environmental conversations often exclude voices of color, I’m trying to get a lot more fluent about talking about this intersection.

I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown – This is a challenging, important, and urgent read. I strongly recommend it for those who think they’re already doing all they can to oppose racism.

Ones I haven’t gotten to yet, but up next: The Underground Railroad, The Moment of Lift, How to be an Antiracist

Abandoned: Inland by Tea Obreht – Tea’s first book, The Tiger’s Wife, is one of my unknown favorites. She’s still a terrific writer, but the Western genre just really isn’t for me.

#63 Voted Sticker

03 March 2020 // San Diego, California

In the past few years, I’ve heard more and more about how fear isn’t entirely bad. It can cause a lot of trouble when we put it in the driver’s seat, but fear has a purpose. 

Elizabeth Gilbert has been one of the best at articulating this. She highlights how we experience fear because it keeps us alive. The part of our brain that experiences fear is the part that kept us from being preyed upon by stronger species. Rather than being completely antagonistic towards fear, we can acknowledge it, thank it for the role it plays, and make a more sober decision.

The world is complex enough where two seemingly opposite things can both be true. Perfect love casts out fear. Loving others will give you more reasons to fear. But what really matters is the way we respond to scary situations. Coronavirus is the trending topic of the moment, but this is a question that comes up again and again.

When I think about our present day refugee crisis, it’s a topic where I feel very strongly that fear has gotten the better of us. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves to be afraid of some of the most vulnerable people groups on earth.

But then, the same part of the population that worries about refugee resettlement expresses little concern about climate change. Generally speaking. And the same segment of the population that argues against alarmist messaging about refugees seems to embrace it when it comes to climate. Are we too afraid? Are we not afraid enough? Maybe we just need a different way of thinking about these things altogether.

Here’s what I believe now: I still believe love is the highest calling and that perfect love casts out fear. But I don’t think that means never being afraid. It means moving through your fears, not around them, in order to do the right thing. Dismissing the concerns of other people isn’t being fearless, it’s simply being asleep to your own fear. And it isn’t helpful.

Instead, deciding to love anyways, after considering all the facts is the type of love that casts out fear. And it invites something else in its place. A loving concern. One where you’re looking out for the interests of other people in a way that’s informed, sober-minded, strategic, and wise.

#64 Rhys & Sis

04 March 2020 // San Diego, California

The most contagious virus of all is fear. But perhaps the second most contagious thing is apathy. Or complacency. Or whatever you want to call it when serious problems threaten the world’s vulnerable and those of us who are unaffected just sit accept it.

The past couple weeks, I’ve been pretty taken in by the unfolding of the coronavirus. I hate to admit that I’ve been a little fascinated by the dynamics of how the world responds to something like a quickly spreading epidemic. The outbreak’s narrative crosses paths with so many of my interests– genetics, travel, geography, problem-solving. But of course, it’s ultimately a tragedy, having claimed over 100,000 lives.

The most common reactions I see to the spread of the virus are almost totally the polar opposites of each other. One is entirely led by fear. The other is totally asleep to it.

In the face of an epidemic, panic does more harm than good. You see the cases of people stockpiling masks, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper, depleting retail supplies, creating price spikes and making it harder for the people who really need these defenses to find them. Panic is at its worst when it merges with prejudice, as we’ve seen directed at so many people of Asian heritage since the outbreak started.

On the other hand are those who have completely dismissed the virus as an overreaction. Many are eager to point out all the other things that have caused more deaths each year. To a lot of my peers, the virus isn’t that scary. They are young and healthy, and if they somehow managed to contract the virus, they’d most likely ward it off in a couple of weeks. But their response to the virus will still have an impact on people the age of my parents, or on people with more fragile immune systems like my wife. To say the virus isn’t a big deal because it only affects these populations is telling these people that their health doesn’t matter.

Neither of these responses seem right. Both the fear-driven frenzy and the insistence on inaction have the potential to do harm to a lot of people. Both prioritize the emotional needs of the individual rather than what’s best for everyone.

This past week, the virus showed up fifteen minutes from our front door. A retail employee tested positive at a nearby mall. I’ve been talking more and more with Deanna about what we’ll do if we get to the point where we need to lay low for a little while. Her work puts her in frequent contact with our local population without housing.

#65 Pick Up Here

05 March 2020 // San Diego, California

You work for an environmental org, right? Why are you always talking about microfinance?

It’s a worthwhile question. People recognize the stuff Plant With Purpose does like planting trees and soil friendly farming. But you get to the part where we help rural villages start community led banking groups and that’s a little out of the frame that most people have around environmental work.

I actually think these groups are one of Plant With Purpose’s coolest program interventions. And they’re a big part of the reason our environmental work is so effective.

Traditionally, environmental causes have been looked at as quite separate from human causes. But the links between poverty and environmental damage are strong. And it goes both ways. One of the biggest causes behind rural areas’ contribution to deforestation is the lack of opportunities.

About 30% of the world is unbanked. Mostly women. Here’s how changing that creates a healthier environment.

#66 Beignet Turns Five

06 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Look who turned five this weekend!

This one’s made the transition into being a big sister pretty nicely. As we thought she would. Our plan from the beginning was dog-then-kids, since it’s easier to keep everyone safe and trained that way. Seeing her play gently with random kids and be great with our nephews were early indicators that she’d do well with a baby.

She still tries to sneak in a lick here and there that she isn’t allowed to, but she’s been great with Rhys.

Beignet’s been a source of clumsy joy and lightness, even when things were really hard. I’m happy she gets to be part of the fun as well.

#67 Return Tripping

07 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Guess what. We’ve got a return to New Orleans in the works!

🍤🍤🍤

Admittedly, I’m probably a bit biased towards the new sights. And that’s in spite of the fact that I’ve absolutely loved so many places I’ve been. But I guess my train of thought is that there are so many places in the world I want to see in my lifetime, I’ve got to be at least a little deliberate in getting out there to get to most of them.

🗾🏞🌅

That said, the appeal of going back to old favorites keeps growing over time, and there are definitely some places I’ve been where I could easily see myself having even more fun the second time around. Namely:

New Orleans – The food alone is reason to return. It felt like we barely scratched the surface on our last visit and that there’s plenty more to be seen and done. I especially want to look into an eco-friendly swamp visit.

⚜️⚜️⚜️

Vancouver – Two years ago, we went for our anniversary and did a lot of fun stuff. I bet we could return, do none of the same things, and have an equally good time. That’s how much it felt like the city was overflowing with stuff that interested us.

🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

Cape Town – A colorful city with a bit of an edge sandwiched between a mountain and two oceans. With penguins. It’s almost as if the city was designed for my tastes. If only it weren’t really, really far to get to.

🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

Taipei – This was the last little solo-backpacking trip I took before getting married and I remember being surprised at how much I underestimated it. Taiwan has a lot of fun and quirky things, whilst being really accessible and easy to bop around.

🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼

Munich – Bavaria was my favorite part of Germany. And we only passed through on a Sunday when most things were closed. I could totally see myself enjoying more time in town.

🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪

#68 Rhys at Golden Hill

08 March 2020 // San Diego, California

This feels out of character.

I’m not normally one to be on the cautious side. I think my track record over years-and-years indicates the opposite. 

But the more I’ve been following the spread of the Coronavirus, the more I’ve been thinking that it would be wise to get ahead of the curve. It seems almost inevitable to me that it’ll make its way to California at some point, and I think it’s about time to make plans for what we’ll do when it’s widespread here.

I simply need to make sure this thing doesn’t make its way to Deanna.

The more planning I can do to stay ahead of things, the less I have to be worried about.

That part of me isn’t out of character, I guess. I’ve always been a planner. Except, rather than planning how to avoid bad outcomes, I’ve been planning around how to make my dreams happen. Then again, maybe those dreams simply mean making sure my family stays safe.

#69 Moment of Lift

09 March 2020 // San Diego, California

I keep thinking about something Abby Edelstein said last week at Creative Mornings- definitely the quote that stuck with me the most:

Fear will get you to keep saying yes to stuff that gets in the way.

I can’t stop thinking about how true that is.

It’s the reason why it’s tempting to keep belaboring over figuring out things that aren’t that essential, while putting off making a push to the things I want.

I know this is true for me a lot of the time. And to make it less true, I think it’ll be important to recognize the “wrong yesses” I often say.

Yes to waiting on having the perfect site and media library, rather than just making good stuff.

Yes to waiting for a king sized community, rather than just throwing the events I dream of.

Yes to having my “brand” figured out, rather than speaking up about what’s important as I see it.

Time to say better yesses.

#70 2020 Staff Retreat

10 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Our staff retreat today was really focused on feedback. Especially using a model for giving helpful, constructive feedback. The whole thing felt quite similar to some of our premarital counseling activities, actually.

I used to be quite averse to confrontation. Then I started to force myself towards it, but in a clumsy way that wasn’t totally me.

But, since I’ve started paying attention to people who do such a good job of speaking honestly in a challenging and constructive way, it’s made me see the value of helpful feedback and being more direct. I’ve drifted quite a bit to the other end of the spectrum where I’m generally comfortable bringing stuff up and want to keep getting better at it.

#71 Scott in Green

11 March 2020 // San Diego, California

During our staff retreat, we had a collaborative activity meant to be a challenge. Midway through, we had to evaluate how we were performing on a scale from 1-5.

Amidst all the all the 4s and 5s, I gave us 2s and 3s.

I did have a vantage point in the exercise to see areas where we weren’t doing well, but, I was also able to see so much more potential to be better. I think it might surprise people to find me as a tough grader, but that’s often how I roll.

Partly, I’d love to reserve the highest grades for people who really achieve a certain wow factor with what they do.

I’m not a critical person, but at the same time, I am pretty keen on seeing potential. And if I can see how something could potentially be better, then I can’t just give it the highest grade.

I hope that when it comes to feedback, I’m affirming of what’s working, while still always challenging others to see the way things could be better.

#72 Contingency Planner

12 March 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve been quiet on here. Much like the rest of the world, my life came to a pretty sudden pause.

My focus the past few weeks has been almost singular: keeping my family safe. We have some risk factors that led us to going into full isolation.

I’ll give an update soon enough about how that’s been going, but for now, we’re well. I am so glad we started taking more precautions earlier in the spread. It isn’t like me to be easily worried, but there’s a reason we have that inner voice we need to listen to sometimes.

In the meantime, just keep doing the next right thing.

It’s a simple idea, but also a profound spiritual practice, and the way we’ll move forward.

One of these days, Rhys and I will get to chat about this weird moment in history that struck four months after he was born. I want to be proud of what I tell him about how we handled this time.

#73 Playing With Mom

13 March 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve realized that this moment will perhaps be the biggest historical event that I live through. In that event, I think it’ll be helpful to write down everything as it happens for Rhys someday.

Dear Rhys,

You came into the world at a really wild time. Just four months into being your dad, we were hit with a global pandemic.

Apparently, you’re only about a month or two older than the coronavirus that’s been going around. It started infecting humans somewhere in China in late December. Since then, small outbreaks have happened in Hong Kong, Singapore, and Korea. Things got pretty bad in the latter, but they figured out how to get a handle on things fast.

Then it made its way to Italy. Spain. Iran. And here in the US.

Then it ended up in a nursing home in Seattle and a cruise ship in San Francisco. Quietly, a lot of travelers brought it to different cities from Europe.

Now it’s close to us, and everywhere. And it’s time that it’ll disrupt our lives for a bit in some way.

At first I started tracking this virus out of curiosity. The challenge of stopping a pandemic is a fascinating one. But now, all that tracking pays off. I’ve been slowly asking more what-if questions. What if it shows up in our city.

This week, we know it’s here, and it’s time to act.

#74 Quilted Chillin’

14 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

On my way home from work yesterday, we discovered that this virus made its way into the NBA, Congress, and Tom Hanks.

In other words, it’s all over the place.

This virus is only three months old, meaning that there’s only so much we know about it. What we know is that it’s main effects are shortness of breath, extreme weakness, lung scarring, and a really intense pneumonia.

It tends to be fatal for the elderly, or people with chronic conditions. Like the lung issues your mom has.

This is why for the time ahead, my number one goal, far-and-away will be to keep this virus away from your mom.

The scary part is that the disease is devastating to some, but invisible in most. It takes about two weeks for symptoms to show up. It looks like about 80% of the people who have the virus have no symptoms but can pass it on to others. It’s also next to impossible to get tested right now, so it’s quite easy to get exposed to it without knowing.

It looks like it isn’t enough to track the sick people and to stay away from them. You can get infected by people who otherwise seem well.

Another scary thing I read was a study from UCSF that projects 40-70% of Californians will be infected in the next year or so. I wish that projection came from a less reputable source. So… how do we keep your mom out of that population?

Right now, we’ll be figuring how to cut ourselves off from interacting with anybody else who might have been exposed or infected. It won’t be easy to avoid everybody except for each other and you, but we have pretty strong reasons for wanting to do so.

We love you and we’re planning on being around for you.

#75 Stuck Inside

15 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

Things with this virus change very quickly. One minute I thought that our decision to isolate ourselves was an advanced step, necessary because of your mom’s health risks.

Turns out, we weren’t that far ahead of the rest of the world. It looks like soon enough the whole State of California will have a mandatory lockdown. It won’t surprise me if there’s one over the whole country before long.

We’re collectively separated, all in quarantine.

I know that under normal conditions, I probably would’ve found a way to use this time to get super productive. After all, I wrote most of my Master’s thesis when your mom was once hospitalized for a week. I’m not easily slowed down. But this time around, in between planning and working from home, all I can do is keep refreshing for updates.

I know that this moment will pass, and eventually I’ll get stir crazy and need to do more. For now, I think it’s fair if that takes some time.

Right now, we all have much more of that than we used to.

#76 Feeding the Rhys

16 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

In the middle of a pandemic, everyone’s biggest concern is not getting sick and not spreading the sickness to others.

But that definitely isn’t the only concern.

When people can’t gather, people can’t work. People lose jobs. Millions did overnight. Suddenly our old economic systems don’t work anymore, though if you asked a lot of people, it already hasn’t been working.

A lot of different governments and leaders in the world have been criticized, fairly in my opinion, for not acting swift or strong enough to stop the spread. Many neglected testing and under reported cases to make things appear normal. There was a real reluctance to trigger a public reaction. I think a lot of people were worried about what that would do to the economy.

I think the lesson here is that whenever you prioritize the economy over people’s security, both ultimately suffer. In this case, more people got sick because we weren’t prepared sooner. Because so many got sick, the economy tanked.

Always keep people as the priority.

#77 Quarantined Rhys

17 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

I did the math. With about 50reported cases of the virus in San Diego, and 10,000 people exposed for every reported case on average, there are about 50,000 people here who have been exposed. That means 1 in 30 people we come across are potential carriers of the virus. That number will only go up. It is conceivable of how half the population could end up exposed to this.

We need to get out of San Diego. Not that other cities are necessarily safer, but our condo here won’t work. Someone next door keeps coughing. Plus Ron wears scrubs often- meaning he’s probably highly exposed to the virus. Walking Beignet gets scary, having to suit up, avoiding the doorknob, and so on.

I’m going to see about the Aunts and if Carson might be a better place to stay. If this thing keeps growing at this rate, one of our neighbors will for sure be infected.

#78 Coronavirus

18 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

We made it out of San Diego.

We got ahold of Auntie Ella and Auntie Fely. They’re both at a high risk age, so I’m glad they have been taking the safety measures very seriously. They haven’t seen anyone but each other for about a week, and they’ve shown no symptoms of the virus.

Deanna and I have decided to make our journey to Carson and that we’ll be staying there for the foreseeable future.

It’ll be interesting… caring for you at four months old, while the two of them are in their 80s, and your mom and I try to keep up with our workload. They have a backyard area, which will be good for Beignet to be able to roam around in. Their gated community also seems like it’ll be much more secure than any other options we have.

I am so thankful that they are willing to have us here. Their generosity really is bottomless, and you can see why Auntie Ella is the sort of person I wanted you to be named after.

Quarantining is always better when you aren’t alone, I suppose, and I’m glad that we’ve got this crew all together.

#79 Shelter in Carson

19 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Tonight I had to venture out into the world. One grocery run, and a stop at CVS to pick up some medicine for Auntie Ella.

I can’t say I enjoyed it. It was kind of a nerve-wracking experience being outside and having to do everything I could to avoid exposure to people.

Here’s what going out was like:

I changed into an outside outfit. A t-shirt and some jeans, plus a raincoat I’ve been throwing on top as an outer layer. I put a mask on and gloves and once those are on, there’s absolutely no more face-touching. This became a nuisance when some hair started to drop in front of my face, but it just wasn’t worth it. In the raincoat’s pocket I keep a thing of sanitizer, that way I could pump some and rub onto things like my credit cards after touching them or swiping them, etc.

My first stop was at a Filipino grocery, to try and pick up rice among other things. This market was packed with people, especially since rice was in short supply. I knew it wasn’t a good spot to be. I avoided crossing paths with anyone as much as possible, and when I did I held my breath. In line, I managed to try and force distance in between people.

Unfortunately, a lot of the people in the market were wearing scrubs, one person wearing an airport uniform. These are some of the most exposed professions, so I had to try extra hard to avoid them.

CVS was a little easier, as was Albertsons. I tried getting what I needed while keeping a massive distance between myself and anyone else.

Outside, I noticed a lot of careless people. One person wore a face mask but kept fiddling with it. Another person wore gloves but couldn’t stop touching her face. And there were a lot of people not keeping their distance.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some people I saw out there tonight exchanged the virus. It is a bit comforting, though, to know that there was probably nobody there being more cautious than me. I’m glad I was out there rather than your mom or the aunts.

#80 Isolating With The Aunts

20 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Not only has this virus interrupted everything, but its threat will probably also tank the world’s economy. Hardly anyone can go to work right now, millions have already lost their jobs, and this will be rough on small businesses.

Here’s a short list of small/local places I really hope survive. I want you to experience them someday:

Café du Monde (New Orleans)

The Book Catapult

Powell’s Books (Portland)

The Last Bookstore (LA)

Momofuku

Pop Pie Co.

Cafeina

Salud 

The Bijou (Eugene)

#81 Quarantine: Carson

21 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Tonight we did something a little different while everyone was quarantined. Trivia night.

I managed to use a Zoom line to start an 8-way video call. I wrote up a bunch of questions to comprise several rounds. And we went at it like a night out at a pub, except with every person in their own homes.

A few of us thought it was a welcome distraction from everything going on. It was great to be able to talk to others, at the very least.

I sometimes wish my gift during a time of crisis could involve playing the role of problem solver. More often than not, though, I think it looks like finding a way to light up dark spaces and dark times. To be the scavenger who can always figure out how to find some joy. To laugh in the face of peril and make everyone feel like they can keep going.

Maybe that’s not a bad role to play after all.

#82 Quarantined Trivia Night

22 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Our church started a phone tree. Each of us deacons were given a short list of names of people to call to reach out to, so we could see if they need anything.

I got about three people who answered for me, including Ed.

I’m glad that we go to a church that does stuff like this. That has a community like this.

The next time things are safe enough for people at church to see you again, you’re going to be a humongous boy. It’ll be nuts.

#83 Doctors RxTra Special

23 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

I’ve often thought that a more grateful world would equal a better world. I suppose at some point in the future we’ll have a sense for how true that is.

Uncertain times lay ahead. I know that once some signs of normalcy reappear, we’ll be hungry for em. Whenever they announce the starters for the first NBA game. Whenever street buskers reappear in Brooklyn subway stations and piazzas in Milan. Whenever Trader Joe’s and Costco hand out samples again. We’re gonna look so fondly on the ordinary.

But it won’t really be a return. There’s no way we don’t emerge from this pause as a different world. What kind of world’s it gonna be? We get to choose! Let’s make it one where we’re always looking out for the most vulnerable, where we’re always asking how we can help each other, and where we never take a damn “ordinary” thing for granted.

#84 RHYS’ BREAKFAST

24 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

When did Will Smith tell us all that “danger is real but fear is a choice?” (It was in that movie After Earth he did with Jaden. Never saw it, but great quote, Will)

🌎🌍🌏

About a month or two ago, I started tracking this virus outbreak. Deanna has some risk factors, so I started asking myself what we would need to do if it were to make its way towards Southern California. At first it felt very hypothetical, though I’d make larger grocery purchases of frozen and canned things than usual. Then about a week before things really went haywire, I realized it was time for us to pull back from going into the office.

We’ve been effectively self-isolating for two weeks at this point. I’m so thankful I was a bit early to resort to those measures- by being even just a couple days ahead we significantly reduced our risk.

Since then, we’ve made our way out of San Diego.

Being on the more cautious end of the spectrum felt a little out of character for me. I constantly talk about how fear isn’t the answer, and I spend a lot of time with people and in places wrongfully considered scary.

The thing that’s becoming more clear to me is that giving into fear is different than being aware of possible dangers. If you’re aware, you can be more strategic. In the long run, it gives you and the people around you less to fear.

😷😷😷

One other thing, I wear a mask on the occasions that I need to step away from the house for a bit since I’m taking care of three high-risk people and a baby right now and I can’t afford to bring anything home. If you’re not in a vulnerable circumstance and you do have masks or other PPE like them around, do figure out how to get them to your local hospital ASAP.

#85 GRASSROOTS ON COVID-19

25 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

This virus is a big reminder of how vulnerable all of our lives are, and how our sense of security is mostly an illusion.

While all this is going on, I wonder about the most vulnerable communities. The rural communities across Asia, Africa, and Latin America I’ve spent most of my life trying to be close to. Right now, physical proximity would be reckless, but I am thinking about them.

Most African and Latin American countries have reported small numbers of Coronavirus infections, mostly among people who’ve traveled between capital cities and economic hubs. The poorest communities are often rural, and their remote locations may be their best defense. Never have I been more thankful for the fact that it takes such a long and bumpy ride to get to these parts of Haiti, Tanzania, and beyond.

But if this virus makes its way to those parts, it’s effects will be awful. Many people have health problems and medical infrastructure is minimal.

I released a new, unplanned, episode of the #grassrootspodcast to talk about how Plant With Purpose is responding to the pandemic. Stream via the link in my bio.

#86 rhys outside

26 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

You know one of the hardest parts of this pandemic?

How long it takes.

Length is good, though. One of the most important things the world has learned is why it’s important to “flatten the curve” or have people get sick over a longer stretch of time rather than all at once. Everybody getting sick at the same time might be faster, but it would also overwhelm hospitals and lead to more deaths that could’ve been prevented.

But better doesn’t make it any easier. It’s still March (somehow) and it looks like things won’t even begin to make strides towards normalcy until July. And that’s just speculative. China is still shut down and they’re about three months ahead of us. Plus we’ve been cautioned against a fall resurgence of the virus.

I’ve had to wait a while for a lot of good things in life. Finishing grad school. Being your dad. I know waiting can be difficult but that it can also produce more spiritual maturity than most things.

I’m curious to see what will happen the further into this we go.

#87 MEDICAL CERTIFICATES

27 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

I don’t participate much in conversations about what churches should and shouldn’t do at a given moment. They’re rarely productive, and I generally tend to just try and support those making good decisions while stepping away from the others, hoping to incrementally make them less visible.

I did see an idea on Twitter that struck a chord, though.

Covid is a revealing what the Church is about.

Some Churches: "How do we deliver an excellent product that people need every week?"

Other Churches: "How do we equip our people for loving their neighbors every week?"

When I think of the way our church has struggled with the technology to make stuff streamable, but has really engaged its task force of deacons and elders in calling people to make sure they’re okay, it indicates to me that we’re more of the latter, and that’s a good thing.

I wonder if now that churches really can’t rely on theatrics anymore, they can’t simply lean on good branding, a trendy looking crowd, and aesthetics, they’ll be much more noticed for their substance, their content, and their heart.

I hope this freedom from distraction does a net good to believers and seekers who need substance more than style.

#88 TRANSFER TO BAKERSFIELD

28 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Dear Rhys,

Today we transferred our quarantine site from Carson to Bakersfield, we’ll be staying with your Nana and Papa.

I have mixed feelings about the switch, partly because we were really comfortable in Carson and it felt like that site was working well. I loved that you got to spend some time with my aunts and that you were able to give them some joy at a time that is really difficult for them. I felt relatively safe- minus that one precarious grocery run.

However, being in Bakersfield and having Nana and Papa around will help your mom and I get work done while you’re in the mix. It’s also an area less impacted by the virus and hopefully that means we’re safer.

Plus, depending on how long this goes, there might be a lot of time for different changes in scenery.

You’ve probably never been part of a global quarantine before. Don’t be surprised that there’s a learning curve. It’s my rookie year too.

#89 TRIKAFTA

29 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Here’s a shortcut to making better choices:

Ask yourself, if a million other people also did this what I’m doing, what would the world be like?

This doesn’t apply only to quarantine. Thinking like this makes me want to let less food go to waste. To try and support more ethical businesses even if it costs an extra buck. To be more mindful of my carbon footprint.

Turns out, it’s a pretty good way to think in a pandemic.

I’ve heard a lot of people asking around if one activity or another is a good or bad idea during a pandemic. Going on a hike? Jogging on deserted streets? Shooting a basketball by yourself in the park pretending to beat a team of Monstars?

No shame in not knowing, since you probably haven’t quarantined with the entire world before. And different places have different degrees of restriction, though it’s hard to be too cautious.

If a million people did their cardio in isolation, on empty streets, at staggered times, that’d probably be fine. If a million people showed up at the trailhead, that’s not so good.

If a million people ordered food from a struggling mom and pop Chinese restaurant and sent one extra meal to hospital workers... that’d be real amazing.

This is a mental shortcut so there are of course exceptions and times when this doesn’t apply. But hey, it’s so easy to overlook how our small choices impact plenty of other people. This way of thinking helps!

#90 My Quarantine Buddy

30 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

What a month.

In a parallel universe, where there’s not a pandemic happening, we would’ve just finished back-to-back weekends in Palm Springs and Sacramento with friends. We’d be getting ready for a big Earth Day event in Texas and then spending my birthday week in New Orleans. In the background I’d be putting together plans for a summer trip to Africa- and I’ve been really itching to get back out into the field.

Instead, we’ve been living in guest rooms at my aunts’ and my in-laws’.

It’s totally legit to be disappointed at all the cancelled things. More than ever I’d love to be in a big house with friends on a weekend getaway, or on an African adventure. But I simultaneously find myself so thankful for a lot of things.

I’m thankful that Deanna and I have fairly resilient jobs that we’re still passionate about. I’m thankful they’ve given us the flexibility to adapt to remote work.

I’m thankful that I get to spend so much time with Rhys at a really fun age. If I’ve got to be quarantined, might as well be with the people I love most.

I’m thankful for aunts and in-laws who have generously had us over while our San Diego living situation was less than ideal.

I’m thankful we started taking things seriously pretty early. It’s still a scary time, but those advanced precautions have made it a lot less scary.

I’m thankful for trivia night on Zoom, Houseparty, new books, Onward, a new season of Kim’s Convenience tonight, and podcast recording. This quarantine would’ve been much harder in the 90s.

Love y’all.

#91 Five Months of Rhys

31 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

I’m feeling so much appreciation for the healthcare workers of the world right now.

This moment should rightfully challenge our ideas of what careers and societal roles are seen as heroic. We can survive without talk show hosts and athletes and influencers. We’d be totally screwed without people on the frontlines of our health services.

I am completely moved by the selflessness of doctors, nurses, transporters, technicians, food and custodial teams, public health officials, and researchers right now. On the other side of all this, I hope they’re given so much special recognition by our reimagined world.

I’m proud to be from a Filipino family FULL of medics. Doctor dad. Nurse mom. Nurse aunt. Doctor aunt.

I’m thankful for all the healthcare workers who took care of my wife as a kid, long before we met. For the ones in Portland who helped us through a pretty scary infection four years ago. For our OB who helped us successfully navigate a pregnancy with all kinds of complications.

Being a healer is one of the highest callings.

Sustainability Demands Indigenous Leadership

Sustainability isn’t possible, unless we have indigenous leaders like Jah Cho here.

If you look at any given threatened forest or biodiversity hotspot... Australia... the Amazon... know what you’ll likely find?

An indigenous community on the frontlines of protecting it.

A couple years ago Jah Cho and some of his neighbors explained to me how their tribes were stateless, but that they relied on the forests of Northern Thailand for their survival. 🌲🌲🌲

In the past, local agencies would give them a really hard time, but they were persistent in showing good land management techniques as a community.

I then learned some other things:
🌐 Indigenous communities are about 5% of the Earth’s population
🌐 This part of the population manages about 20% of its land
🌐 That land contains 80% of its biodiversity ⠀⠀
In spite of this, many governments and organizations overlook the role that indigenous communities have in protecting sensitive spaces.

I just published an essay on this for Plant With Purpose - and it includes some suggestions on what we could do. It’s one I’m especially fired up about.

How often do you hear about indigenous communities in the environmental discussions you come across?

The 2020 Annual Report

~**gRAphIC DESiGn 👝👑🌞 | iS | mY 🍉🍭 PASsioN**!~

Okay, so not entirely. If that was all I did, I’d miss the speaking, the storytelling, the scripting of other things. But I have fun with design. Lemme throw on a podcast and open up Photoshop or Illustrator, and I imagine that’s what serious gamers feel like. I’m happy it gets to be a component of what I do.

Recently I got to work on Plant With Purpose’s annual report. Not a totally original design, but I had to learn how to mimic the styles of past editions and give some pages a facelift. It was fun getting to figure out how to do that.

Creative design is about more than aesthetics. It’s about transmitting feelings, and in my work, it's the feeling of being invited. The first time I realized the world of nonprofit organizations could be for ME and not just older, wealthier, people in suits came when I saw organizations with branding and exciting visuals and gear that looked just like my vibe!

One of the unspoken questions people ask when they encounter new ideas, movements, or organizations is “is this for me???” The right design says HECK YES COME ON IN.

Do What You Love to End What You Hate

Do what you love to end what you hate

What gets you out of bed in the morning? What do you love doing? What makes you feel alive?

What keeps you up at night? What’s something in the world that makes you see red? That you just want to put an end to? These questions seem simple. Some people just know the answers deeply and instantly. Others need to try out different things and do some exploring. But they’re always worth responding to.

I think these show you the things you can’t NOT do. You know? When I first learned about global justice issues, I really felt like I couldn’t just sit on that knowledge. When I’ve gotten the chance to speak to crowds to share that same passion, I always feel like, yeah, this is what I’m MEANTTOBEDOING with my life.

A valuable question that can help us find what we were born to do. Creative Work, International Development, Dad Life: * philippelazaro.com * instagram.com/p...

Don't Rush the Journey

Rules for a Great Adventure no. 05: Don’t Rush the Journey

Anyone else need the reminder?

I get so motivated by milestones, benchmarks, and accomplishments, that I often forget that the real joy is found in the process.

All good stories and life itself is driven by a journey. Things to pursue. Problems to solve. Once the problems are solved and things are settled, stories naturally come to an end. There’s nowhere left for them to go.

We tend to overrate getting to the destination at the cost of underrating the journey.Things like hurry take us further away from that state of lightness you find with kids, dogs, wise older people. No wonder Dallas Willard famously said that the best way to become the kind of person you wish to become, then you must “ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.” Hurry and love don’t mix.

You know how violence, poor health, and pollution are associated with poverty because of desperation? Hurry and obsessing over the future are similar. They create a spiritual sense of poverty that make us less like the people we want to be.

Thought Nuggets on Work

What did you really need to hear your rookie year?

For the past three years a group of students at UCSD have invited me to talk about having a creative career, a nonprofit career, an international career, a career in sustainability, all that good stuff!

All the questions I got from students got the wheels turning. ⚙️ Here are some ideas that jumped out of our conversations.

🔸 Branding is all about making it clear how you help people become who they want to be. Want a good personal brand? Show how you can help.

🔹 The Growth Mindset is where it’s at! It’s one of the most valuable skills, because it gives birth to a bunch of other skills.

🔸 One of the big things that separates a successful international nonprofit from the rest is whether or not the locals feel like they own the process of change.

🔹 School is one way to learn, far from the only way. 90% of the practical knowledge I put to use every day comes from podcasts, books, even Twitter accounts I follow. Travel experiences too, of course. Keep investing in yourself.

🔸 Don’t worry too much about landing somewhere and getting stuck. Always keep looking for ways to do the work you want to do, even if you need to package it with other stuff that pays the bills. You keep evolving throughout the process.

Deforestation's Main Culprit

To plant one tree every day, visit: https://plantwithpurpose.org/donate Creative Work, International Development, Dad Life: * https://philippelazaro.com * ht...

Meet the world’s leading cause of deforestation

I was so surprised when I first learned about the number one reason the earth loses 200k acres of forest every year.

It’s not because of terrible wildfires, industrial logging, or people becoming more urban.

It’s smallholder farmers. The population I work with. The group I often describe as most vulnerable to climate. They’re a top contributor to environmental loss.

The dynamic is way more nuanced than just blaming the obvious actors.
It’s a reminder that poverty and climate change are self-perpetuating cycles, but I made this video to show how these communities are so ready to be a part of the solution.

If the Dreams Don't Come True

What if the whole dream just doesn’t come true?

I was talking with a friend who moved to a new city to pursue her dream of an artistic career. It was a risky move, but one that seemed really right for her. When the next right step seems to be an equally good fit for your personal growth and your spiritual life and your career and purpose and everything… you just can’t say no!

But she’d been at it for a few years. Some big wins, but not the huge breakthrough she might’ve been hoping for. And when she said this was a question she’d been asking herself, I felt like I could relate. What if I never make the thing that reaches a large audience? That changes the way people see an issue en masse? What if that big surge of growth I’ve been looking for just doesn’t happen?

Then I realized, what if we asked another question?

What if the dream already came true and we didn’t know it?

I get to wake up most mornings looking forward to making things. She gets to rock crowds and temporarily take them away from their everyday lives and into the magic of a performance. I have an opportunity to speak about urgent and important issues. Somehow we’re able to do these things, have a blast, and still pay the bills.

Sure there will be other benchmarks, new levels, and next steps we’ll always be looking towards. But also… we’re doing it! And I know my twenty year old self would be pretty thrilled knowing everyday life could blend work and play so seamlessly.

Imagine if the genie gave you unlimited wishes, except with the catch that you’d never be able to realize it when a wish had been granted. That would be so anticlimactic! Here’s to the dreams that come true quietly.

Doing More as a Dad

“You just have to anticipate not being able to do as much as you used to.” –Ancient proverb from parents to newer parents.

This was, in fact, something I heard about a lot before having Rhys. And I was truly curious how hard that would strike. My off-switch doesn’t always work so well.

It is, in fact, no longer possible for me to work the way I used to. I’ve had to get stronger at telling people when there’s no longer room on my plate for things. I used to hate leaving tasks halfway done, but I’ve had to get used to doing that to take care of baby things.

But, I would hardly call this getting less done.

Some days we’ll read about more animals than leading zoologists. I’ll help this guy with more wardrobe changes than a fashion blogger. Sometimes those outfits ARE animals. We’ll read nine books a day. And I get to practice the art of hypnotism with mixed results.

I’ve been having the best long weekend with this little llama man, and it keeps going!

An Uneventful Valentine's Day

Weirdly hoping this is our most boring Valentines Day yet!

We have a weird little track record of Valentine’s Day coinciding with either a nasty illness or a humongous life transition.

In five years of marriage it’s looked like:

2016: Being so sick we spent our first Valentines Day in the hospital

2017: Celebrating early, since I was interviewing for and eventually landing my job

2018: Sick again!

2019: We found the house we ended up buying and would find out we were pregnant just a few weeks after... so yeah. That one takes the cake.

2020: ❓❓❓

We probably aren’t up for any massive life changes right now (I suppose there’s some exceptions. I’ll take a radioactive spider bite that gives me powers.) And we’re sure thankful to be healthier than those other two years. We’ve also got our three month old in the fold.

We did, however, order a cake and truffles from Milk Bar that was awkwardly delivered to my office, and that sounds like the perfect level of excitement for me right now.

But are we having any fun?

Are you having any fun?

Once I was asked in a job interview what unique thing I would bring to the table. Without even thinking, I let out the word “fun!” The interviewer wasn’t expecting that answer, and really, I wasn’t either. I immediately started to wonder if I should’ve said something else.

I was worried that if fun was my calling card, people might question my work ethic, overlook my other skills, and not take me seriously.

But also... we probably already take ourselves too seriously.

And who works harder than a kid engrossed in play?

And as a kid, I loved Ken Griffey Jr. not just cause he dominated, but because he looked like he was having a ridiculous amount of fun at the same time.

We like to remind ourselves that life isn’t all fun and games, but sometimes we teeter dangerously close to zero fun and no games. A spirit of lightness and fun is one of the most refreshing things our world could use more of right now. Imagine if all the mean-spirited snarkiness in the world and in places of power were rooted in a sense of humor based on honesty and humility. That would be FUN.

A GAMEPLAN for Great Nonprofit Photos & Videos

If it’s so important for nonprofits to invest in thoughtful, high-quality, impactful images, why do so many organizations treat it like an afterthought- tacking on a few snapshots to the end of a work trip, or outsourcing it to a volunteer with limited experience?

On my last video for #thecreativechangemaker I highlighted the importance of media assets, but on this new one I share a guide on how to develop a process that keeps that eye-catching content FLOWING!

Seven Trips

When people ask you to pick your favorite place, does the answer come naturally or does it feel like an impossible question?

For me, it’s for sure the latter.

Not that I don’t try to think about it. It feels like an overly-diplomatic cop-out to pretend I enjoyed all trips equally. But picking a hands down fave? 🇦🇺🇦🇷🇮🇸🇰🇷🇮🇹🇿🇦🇵🇭I can’t do it.

I started to think, though, about how understanding the purpose of a trip helps make the experience richer. 🌐 And part of the reason why it’s so difficult to pick a favorite is because of the many different purposes travel has played for me.

I came up with seven types of purpose-centered trips:

🌏 A trip to reconnect with your heritage
🤲🏽 A trip for the sake of serving others
🌕 A spiritually-focused pilgrimage
🚙 A classic road trip with friends
🛶 A trip that’s mostly spontaneous
🎭 A trip to the epicenter of one of your biggest passions
🌲 A trip to better connect with the natural environment

I can think of different places I’ve been to that have really served these purposes well. And some other places I have yet to go! Those are in the full length post I have linked in my bio.

If you’re privileged enough to travel on occasion, I’d recommend mixing it up and not always doing the same thing. Prepackaged tours and insular resorts are sometimes good, but often cut you off from the best certain places have to offer.

Any of these trip types on the horizon for you?

100 Days of Rhys

Official: it’s my 💯th day of being Rhys’ dad.

Shall we party?

In a lot of East Asian cultures, 100 days of life was kind of a big deal. 🗾 With poverty, food scarcity, and illness being commonplace, parents couldn’t take survival for granted.

I’ve had a considerably easier time with Rhys than my ancestors over on that side of the world would’ve had but I’m thankful all the same.

It’s impossible to say something that hasn’t already been said by any given new dad. All the stuff you usually hear is accurate. It’s beautiful and it changes everything. 💚 My heart has been so full and alive the past 100 days. Tummy time, skin to skin, favorite toys, wrestling with the cloth wrap, fluent gibberish, bathtime- I’ve been loving it all.

One of the best parts of my life right now is that every 3-4 hours I have to stop whatever I’m doing and go play. 🤾🏽‍♂️ It makes the world much lighter. What a way to live.

Now... how to celebrate? 🥟 Soup dumplings? 🍱 K-BBQ? 🍲 Pho noodles for a long life??

Easing Up

Checking in. ✔️

It’s amazing how sometimes loosening your grip on life opens your hands to receive, isn’t it? ⠀⠀
A few weeks ago, it became super clear to me that I was letting days at a time rush by without truly taking the time to enjoy and savor each one. 〰️ I talk a lot about how life is a gift, so you’d think I’d know better, yeah?

But, I was very interested in trying to do as much as humanly possible with that gift, so I’d race to get thing no. 83674 done so I could move onto thing no. 83675. 🕑🕝🕦 And it seems like many days would end as quickly as they began.

Last month in particular, I decided to ease up. I decided to make having fun and enjoying the process my 🔝 goal. I wasn’t writing to meet a word count or get a certain number of shares or to move on to the next article. It was to capture thoughts that needed to live outside of me. 🕹 I tried taking that approach to videos, speaking, being a dad, walking the dog, work calls, strategy meetings, and everything.

The funny thing is that last month was full of good moments. 💻 I had a top climate scientist share something I wrote and it got more views than anything I’ve written in a while. 🎙I got to speak and give some interviews a few times and had so much fun doing it. I’ve loved it.

Side note: my most recent interview was over at Reliant Creative’s podcast 📻 if you want to hear me go on about some of the things I’m most passionate about, like ethical storytelling and how marketing is generosity, go check that link in my bio!

Anyways, I know one month is a small sample size and that this all follows putting in the work earlier, but I think I continued to work productively while enjoying life much, much more.

Ever experience something where the best way to get where you’re going is to take your foot off the gas and appreciate the ride?

What It Takes to Offset CO2

Real talk: I’ve felt substantially better about the planet’s future after some stuff I learned last week than I have in years.

Reducing your carbon footprint is good, but not enough. 📉 There’s already excess CO2 in the Earth’s atmosphere we gotta deal with.

I’ve spent a good chunk of last week at a summit to learn about carbon markets. At first, I thought it would be a real technical meeting with lots of nitpicking over details that went over my head. 🤔 Instead, it got me pumped.

Have you ever heard that stat that 100 companies create 70% of the world’s carbon emissions? 🏭 That means even if I successfully rallied every individual to go on strict vegan diets, switch to clean energy, and forever surrender plastic (none of which I’ve totally done myself), it would only take care of a pretty small part of the problem.

At this summit, though, I started to see how more and more companies are strategizing how to be carbon neutral or negative over the next decade. 🖲 And not just the really woke ones, but corporate giants like Microsoft, Volkswagen, JetBlue, Siemens, just to name a few.

I got to meet one expert in the field I really hope to have on my podcast soon. I loved the way she put it: Forget what you hear about from Congress. Pretty much every company is thinking about this right now. You have to. MIcrosoft pledged to go carbon neutral, you better bet some folks at Google are trying to figure out how to one-up. It’s not a matter of altruism for a lot of them, but a matter of survival. There won’t be much business to do in ten years if there isn’t much of a planet.

These big shifts follow years and years of organizing, speaking up, and awareness raising at the grassroots level. 🌱🌱🌱 I’m not surprised that a lot of these commitments were made just months after the student-led climate strike. Moving the needle is always worth it. It’s easy to underrate the importance of speaking up for what matters, but don’t. It regularly produces incredible change.

Images Say a Lot About Nonprofits

Here's how nonprofits can use powerful media assets to tell stories, and why things like quality photographs and videos are worth the investment Creative Wor...

Nonprofits need better visuals!

How much do quality images and photos actually help a nonprofit organization? 🖼 Much more than most organizations give them credit for.

This is something I get super pumped about!

🧨🧨🧨

Quality visuals reflect a quality organization.

Are their organizations that have subpar programs lurking beneath dazzling shots? Sure, probably. But if you’re a truly effective organization, quality visuals are a no-brainer. The same intentionality that goes into a strong program should also guide intentional photography.

Here’s a brand new video for #thecreativechangemaker highlighting how organizations can better think of their media assets.

Three Months of Rhys

Welcome to February, check out my now-three-month-old!

We started off month number three with a RAD W in the Rose Bowl 🌹, watching a burning magnificent sunset at Joshua Tree 🌅, and learning how to roll. Also managed to celebrate Cousin Zara turning one, stealing the show at a couple of speaking events, and finding a great new trail in Fallbrook. 🏔

I’ve loved being a dad from the get-go but we’re at an especially fun stage right now. So much physical development over the past couple weeks. ⠀⠀
He loves it when I beatbox and pretend his face is my drum machine. 🎛 He managed to throw a ball for the first time (barely missed the goal I made with my hands, but you miss all the shots you don’t take, y’know?) 🏀 He decided on a favorite toy and its a French puppy. 🐶 He has started putting together sounds that sound like the word “good.” With a little coaching, I’ve been trying to see if he can give me an I AM GROOT. 🌱

I’ve loved seeing so much personality come out lately. Quality playtimes every day.

February 2020

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#32 Rhys’ First Dog Beach

01 February 2020 // San Diego, California

The fireworks went off about a minute and a half into a YouTube video titled- What to do when your RV’s generator goes out? I could hear them reverberating all throughout Desert Hot Springs as the clock struck midnight. Meanwhile, I was playing electrician on a camper we had rented for the evening.

#33 Super Bowl Swaddle

02 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Ambition can be a really valuable thing. It can also quickly turn unhealthy.

Ambitious is a word that pops up often when others describe me, and I think that’s fair. I get excited about what’s possible. I tend to be optimistic about what can get done. I don’t want life to end without knowing that I gave it my best.

That said, sometimes I feel the negative side effects of my ambitious nature. Operating from a place of scarcity. Getting caught up in outcomes and people’s responses rather than the process.

Lately I’ve been curious about what that thin line is in between the upside of ambition and it’s unhealthy expression. I think I’ve found one spot where it lies.

It’s the difference between self-actualization and insecurity.

When ambition is healthy, it stems from a person’s desire to live up to their potential. It can come from a place of knowing that their life has a valuable purpose and not wanting to miss out on the purpose.

It doesn’t stem from the arrogance of thinking you’re there already, but from a desire to get there and the humility to see that gap.

On the flip side, ambition rooted in insecurity comes from a place of always trying to prove something. Instead of believing that you have a purpose you have yet to fulfill, an insecure person believes that they really don’t measure up and need to put on more of a show so others think they do.

Seeing this difference has helped me set my sights on constantly making sure my ambitious nature comes from a healthy place.

#34 Atomic Habits

03 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Earlier this month I wrote something that seemed to resonate with a bunch of people:

“Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. Setting up good systems, habits, or processes changes the way you do things, which actually leads to consistent and lasting results. And for me, I think that would look like truly showing up and being totally locked in to the moment in front of me. As a dad. As a storyteller. As an advocate.”

It’s taken some getting used to but I’m trying to step back from achieving certain outcomes with my creativity, my work, and my life and to spend more time appreciating the moment at hand.

This isn’t to say that I’ve completely rejected the importance of goals, strategy, and discipline- but I do think I got so fluent at those things that I lost the balance of loving the process. Over the past few weeks, I think I’ve been finding my way back to it.

That’s led me to days where I don’t get as much done as I would’ve hoped. To having to say no to more things than I’m used to. To allowing myself to be distracted more.

Ironically this has led to one of my most rewarding and creative months. I got a cool speaking opportunity in front of a small but significant crowd. I got my first invitation to be on somebody’s podcast since becoming a dad. I was invited back to Colombia. Something I wrote was read and shared by a leading climate scientist, and got a lot of traction.

It turned out to be a productive month. But more importantly, it was a fun month. And one densely packed with life.

It’s funny how sometimes loosening up your grip ultimately makes you stronger.

#35 What You Love, What You Hate

04 February 2020 // San Diego, California

James Clear said “Frequently change your methods. Rarely change your principles.”

I love this because it applies so broadly to different areas of life.

Like with money. Pretty much every year I further refine the way I go about crunching the numbers for our budget and figuring out how to be more efficient. But the principle of not spending more than I’m making, of being generous, and of trying to save stays fixed.

Or with the marketing work I do. In just three years I’ve tried out so many different tactics. But the core philosophy of adding value, building a strategy on generosity, and being honest stays firm.

My parenting methods will need to adapt in parallel with my kids’ development, though the principle of being present and loving unconditionally is fixed. Fitness methods always change. The principle of stewarding my health well doesn’t. Travel methods change, but not the principle of being open minded and leaving things better.

There is room for principles to evolve, but on a rare and deliberate basis. After all, we all grow. But part of growth is taking the most important things we know to be true, and making them fit the given circumstance.

#36 Morning at Cafeina

05 February 2020 // San Diego, California

I think one of the biggest fallacies out there is that things only get worse, the world only gets more polarized, and that human security is more vulnerable now than its ever been.

Bad news is simply louder than good news. When a recession strikes, everybody knows the day the markets all crash. But nobody waves a banner when recovery has happened. It barely gets noticed. When there’s an outbreak of a disease it commands headlines. But as it is cured or fades into rarity, that story doesn’t get told.

Things like LGBT issues or climate change can still trigger debates if you go looking for them, but not the way they used to ten years ago. While there are certainly other issues that have gotten more polarized- migration or gun control, for example, things don’t only move in that direction. Things also get depolarized. Maybe we just can’t be mad at all things all the time, and in those lapses is a fight between progress and apathy.

Finally, while there still are a number of threats to human security en made, it’s easy to forget that there used to be way, way more. Relative to history, we’ve got things pretty good.

#37 Young Hickory Mug

06 February 2020 // San Diego, California

What’s that topic that would seem like a nerdy deep-dive to most people, that you could actually riff on for hours?

For me it’s the weird intersection of creative storytelling, nonprofit work, sustainability and human rights.

This week I got to go on a podcast and talk pretty freely about those favorite things. One topic that came up frequently for us was the item of nonprofit social media.

To me, a lot of organizations seem to just shoot darts all over the place. Really, every single post is a chance for you to add value to other people’s lives.

And actually, there’s not really any reason why that wouldn’t apply to the way any of us have the opportunity to use social media. You don’t need to be a brand or corporate account to think about using your platform to add value.

One little blurb that came out of my mouth was that posts can inform, encourage, or inspire, and best of all, do some combination of the three. Surprisingly, my host knew the guy at REI who came up with the #OptOutside campaign and this was almost his exact methodology. (We had maybe one word of difference, but really, it was almost verbatim).

You hear often enough about the link between social media and self absorption and what that is doing to our society. Maybe this is a good strategy to be a more mindful user.

#38 Shake Shack Snack Break

07 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Things go by too fast. Gotta find some stillness.

I heard a couple of interviews this week that we’re on totally different topics but they ended up related to each other much more closely after listening.

The first was a conversation with Jennie Allen. She talked about how she’s always a had an unusually strong sensitivity to how quickly time passes. It’s sometimes hard for her to not think about it. She talked about not being able to send her kids off to school without thinking of them after finishing school.

She seemed so aware that this was taking her out of the moment. That the way one should respond to this awareness is to be more deeply present. But it became more like a thought she couldn’t get rid of, like an anxiety.

I related so strongly to that. The only other person I’ve heard articulate this experience so well was Elizabeth Gilbert.

I know for many people understanding that life moves fast and that you shouldn’t wait can be very motivating. But more often than not, it’s simply a reason I feel anxious a lot of the time. It triggers a felt need to jump in front of the day, to get ahead early, and to make the day so packed with activity there isn’t much breathing room.

The other interview I heard was with Ryan Holiday. He spoke a lot about stillness and described it as a moment at the end of a day playing with his kids and their dog. Time could stand still. It didn’t matter anymore.

That’s what I want more of. I need to escape the trap of thinking it could come just by getting ahead of schedule, because there will always be a felt scarcity. Maybe an abundance mindset can apply to having an abundance of time as well.

#39 100 Days of Rhys

08 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Official: it’s my 💯th day of being Rhys’ dad.

Shall we party?

In a lot of East Asian cultures, 100 days of life was kind of a big deal. 🗾 With poverty, food scarcity, and illness being commonplace, parents couldn’t take survival for granted.

I’ve had a considerably easier time with Rhys than my ancestors over on that side of the world would’ve had but I’m thankful all the same.

It’s impossible to say something that hasn’t already been said by any given new dad. All the stuff you usually hear is accurate. It’s beautiful and it changes everything. 💚 My heart has been so full and alive the past 100 days. Tummy time, skin to skin, favorite toys, wrestling with the cloth wrap, fluent gibberish, bathtime- I’ve been loving it all.

One of the best parts of my life right now is that every 3-4 hours I have to stop whatever I’m doing and go play. 🤾🏽‍♂️ It makes the world much lighter. What a way to live.

Now... how to celebrate? 🥟 Soup dumplings? 🍱 K-BBQ? 🍲 Pho noodles for a long life??

#40 Rainy Day Planters

09 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Are you having any fun?

Once I was asked in a job interview what unique thing I would bring to the table. Without even thinking, I let out the word “fun!” The interviewer wasn’t expecting that answer, and really, I wasn’t either. I immediately started to wonder if I should’ve said something else.

I was worried that if fun was my calling card, people might question my work ethic, overlook my other skills, and not take me seriously.

But also... we probably already take ourselves too seriously.

And who works harder than a kid engrossed in play?

And as a kid, I loved Ken Griffey Jr. not just cause he dominated, but because he looked like he was having a ridiculous amount of fun at the same time.

We like to remind ourselves that life isn’t all fun and games, but sometimes we teeter dangerously close to zero fun and no games. A spirit of lightness and fun is one of the most refreshing things our world could use more of right now. Imagine if all the mean-spirited snarkiness in the world and in places of power were rooted in a sense of humor based on honesty and humility. That would be FUN.

#41 Mission Beach Bar

10 February 2020 // San Diego, California

It’s hard not to succeed on your quest if you make it a priority to help as many people around you on their quest.

Video games get this. That’s why when you’re on your mission to collect keys or relics or whatever, you’ll find one that can only be collected by helping an old man you come across repair a snowmobile. Or something like that.

This is a philosophy of mine that applies to work, but also life in a broader, more spiritual sense. If you make it a target to be relentlessly helpful, you’ll build strong and loyal relationships that ultimately help you get to where you’re trying to go.

It’s hard to say this sometimes, without sounding like I’m advocating for reciprocity. Scratch your back if you scratch mine. That is probably the most insincere and ineffective way to do this.

To really offer value, build intimate connections, strengthen relationships, and provide legitimate help, you can’t simply do favors and check them off a list. This needs to simply become the way you do things. Muscle memory. It takes practice.

But, man, help people. So much of life becomes doable when you master the art of showing up for others.

#42 Oceanography Center Walk

11 February 2020 // San Diego, California

There’s something powerful about being someone who has mastered the art of asking good questions.

James Clear lists it among the top three skills to develop that pay off in many different areas of life. Alongside reading and getting proper sleep, it’s worth the effort to learn how to ask good questions.

Asking the right questions obviously leads to more learning. It’s also a disarming, humble gesture. At the same time, being a good question asker can also be smart approach to discussing contentious topics. It can force your partner to re-evaluate his or her train of thought.

Curiosity is a muscle. If you want to develop a true learner, don’t stuff them with knowledge. Cultivate their curiosity.

One caveat is that it’s gotta be sincere. I once complimented someone on their ability to ask questions, only I was never again able to hang out with them without feeling like being on a Barbara Walters special. Insincere question asking feels robotic and manipulative.

But real curiosity? That’s such a gift. With a healthy dose of it, the mind will travel far.

#43 TRACKSUIT RHYS

12 February 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve noticed something that the very best writers, speakers, and thought leaders do: they speak to ambiguity, and in doing so, they eliminate it.

I’ve noticed the times my words get the best response, and it’s when I have called attention to a subject where there’s a lot of confusion, and that confusion seems to be affecting people.

Minimalism isn’t a new topic by any stretch. You can find themes of it interwoven through teachings in Buddhism, Christianity, and other faiths. But these traditions are millennia old and so every new generation is ripe to hear their messages in a way that’s clear to them, because over time, ambiguity accumulates.

So when the likes of Thich Nacht Thanh and Thomas Merton spoke to the virtues of simplicity, moderation, and humility, the theme of minimalism came alive. But there was still ambiguity about how to turn this into an actionable behavior.

In the early 2000s and 2010s, new bloggers came along showing us how to do just that. Joshua Becker, Leo Babauta and others really contributed to resolving ambiguity. The term Minimalism went from being mostly used to describe an aesthetic to a lifestyle.

Then came The Minimalists- offering even punchier, unambiguous posts. Marie Kondo resolves the ambiguity of how to be minimalist while still appreciating the life of an object. Now countless vloggers like Matt D’Avella showcase what that looks like in real life. More ambiguity busted.

What’s next? Maybe leaders who help us resolve the ambiguity between minimalism and having a large family, or all the nuances of race and privilege when it comes to Minimalism. There’s so much room left to explore.

When I talk about the environment and faith, I call attention to the fact that we are constantly confronted by these two topics but never seem to ask how they go together. In team settings, when I start to notice people not being on the same page about certain things but trying to make it work in roundabout ways, I’ll call attention to that.

When you call out ambiguity, you can then offer a new, helpful framework for people to think about the item. This provides both clarity and motivation to act.

#44 YERBA COURT

13 February 2020 // San Diego, California

One of my favorite ways people describe Jesus’ teachings is this: they afflicted the comforted and comforted the afflicted. In other words, He made people who were troubled feel at peace and He made those who felt comfortable uneasy.

I think about this description a lot when I think about what impact I’d like to have as a voice and with my writing and speaking opportunities.

There’s a time for me to speak to offer hope, to relieve people’s anxieties, to build bridges between groups that don’t see things eye-to-eye. Yes to all of that.

But also. There’s a time to challenge. There’s a time to light a fire.

I’ve spent a lot of my life aiming to say the right thing to please a crowd. I have a performative side. And saying things that bring hope, quench anxiety, feed wonder, and build bridges often please a crowd.

But lighting a fire doesn’t. And being a good steward of my platform wouldn’t be complete if I never lit fires. If I never sought to make those in comfort uncomfortable.

So let’s light some fires.

Not infernos that incinerate whatever they touch.

But sparks.

Sparks that catalyze engines and get wheels turning.

Because that’s what it takes to generate movement and change.

#45 Milkbar Birthday Cake

14 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Weirdly hoping this is our most boring Valentines Day yet!

We have a weird little track record of Valentine’s Day coinciding with either a nasty illness or a humongous life transition.

In five years of marriage it’s looked like:

2016: Being so sick we spent our first Valentines Day in the hospital

2017: Celebrating early, since I was interviewing for and eventually landing my job

2018: Sick again!

2019: We found the house we ended up buying and would find out we were pregnant just a few weeks after... so yeah. That one takes the cake.

2020: ❓❓❓

We probably aren’t up for any massive life changes right now (I suppose there’s some exceptions. I’ll take a radioactive spider bite that gives me powers.) And we’re sure thankful to be healthier than those other two years. We’ve also got our three month old in the fold.

We did, however, order a cake and truffles from Milk Bar that was awkwardly delivered to my office, and that sounds like the perfect level of excitement for me right now.

#46 Home Life

15 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Think of someone you admire. Really admire. Like, legendary status.

Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Fred Rogers, Fannie Lou Hamer level. Y’know?

I heard somebody once say that every time you feel that spark of admiration for somebody as a hero, it’s cause of certain character traits and the fact that some of those traits are already in you, able to sprout with the right nurture.

One of the phrases I use a lot is- becoming the best version of yourself. It’s a beautiful, never-ending project. When it comes to my work in advocacy, creativity, and marketing, I think of it as inviting others to become the best versions of themselves.

It’s far from an original idea. The Old Testament highlights that everybody is made in the image of God. Value is embedded in everybody. Thomas Merton wrote a lot about a person’s true self. Same idea. All kinds of people talk about finding your inner child, though doing so actually takes a world of maturity!

I like this. I Iike the idea that the person each of us were made to be varies from person to person. It’s not about imitating your heroes, but finding your own true self. It’s the great plot twist found everywhere from the Wizard of Oz to Legally Blonde to Knives Out.

The thing you’ve been looking for has been with you all along.

#47 Harbor Island Harbor

16 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Have you ever thought about starting a nonprofit organization?

I did. In fact, if you went back and told my twenty year old self that I haven’t started one yet, I bet I’d be really surprised.

For the longest time, I knew that I wanted to work internationally, and I knew I wanted that work to help people. I wanted to eliminate poverty, fight injustice, and promote peacebuilding. I also knew I wanted to raise awareness for the cause, and help other people become passionate about it. I wanted to help other people find their purpose through helping other people.

I always figured my way to do this would be by starting a nonprofit organization.

I went to graduate school, getting degrees in international studies and nonprofit management.

I traveled to dozens of countries after school, discovering causes I cared about.

And I read a bunch of books by other people who started nonprofits, wanting to learn from their experience.

And after all that, I didn’t start a nonprofit!

I had a friend tell me that back in the nineties, young people were all about starting bands with their friends, but these days, young people start nonprofits.

But think of it this way, what do you think could help more people? 

One hundred nonprofits in start-up mode, with teams of one or two people doing everything from fundraising to program work to the office admin just to survive? 

Or one nonprofit with a staff of a hundred people, where each team-member could play to their strengths? With a fundraising department skilled at building relationships with donors. A field team that could develop the best program without having to worry as much about office work. Monitoring and statistics people who could make sure the organization was doing its best work. And office admin, finance people, and executive leaders who keep the wheels turning?

if everyone simply started organizations right and left to solve problems, we’d have countless orgs that are understaffed, struggling to survive. They’ll have a hard time making a big impact. What if instead we devoted all that energy to teams that were already established and doing good work, helping them grow and get even stronger.

Our culture tends to glorify heroes, founders, and charismatic leaders. And in the nonprofit world, that can actually become a problem. The savior complex has led to broken trust and disempowered people.

This isn’t to say that that’s the case for every nonprofit founder, or that nobody should ever start an organization. But people should think long and hard before committing to this. Ask yourself:

Are there already organizations out there working to solve the same problems I want to solve?

What is the most effective way I can contribute to this mission?

What are my real motivations?

When I asked myself these things, I started to see that it wasn’t for me. At least not right now.

All my preparation for running a nonprofit organization hasn’t gone to waste. These days, I work in creative storytelling and marketing for an organization called Plant With Purpose, an environmental nonprofit that’s older than I am!

The fact that the organization has already gone through the more difficult years of early growth, building an audience, and developing good systems allows me to focus on the things I enjoy the most, and that I do best...

...like launching a podcast!

...or telling stories from Haiti!

...or building a movement.

And maybe, just maybe, some day comes where I do start an organization. If that happens, I think I’ll be much better prepared for all the challenges that brings.

But right now, right here, I’m happy.

Thanks for watching, sign up for the newsletter below.

And remember, when compassion and creativity meet, amazing things happen!

#48 Kwaay Paay with Rhys

17 February 2020 // San Diego, California

What if the whole dream just doesn’t come true?

I was talking with a friend who moved to a new city to pursue her dream of an artistic career. It was a risky move, but one that seemed really right for her. When the next right step seems to be an equally good fit for your personal growth and your spiritual life and your career and purpose and everything… you just can’t say no!

But she’d been at it for a few years. Some big wins, but not the huge breakthrough she might’ve been hoping for. And when she said this was a question she’d been asking herself, I felt like I could relate. What if I never make the thing that reaches a large audience? That changes the way people see an issue en masse? What if that big surge of growth I’ve been looking for just doesn’t happen?

Then I realized, what if we asked another question?

What if the dream already came true and we didn’t know it?

I get to wake up most mornings looking forward to making things. She gets to rock crowds and temporarily take them away from their everyday lives and into the magic of a performance. I have an opportunity to speak about urgent and important issues. Somehow we’re able to do these things, have a blast, and still pay the bills.

Sure there will be other benchmarks, new levels, and next steps we’ll always be looking towards. But also… we’re doing it! And I know my twenty year old self would be pretty thrilled knowing everyday life could blend work and play so seamlessly.

Imagine if the genie gave you unlimited wishes, except with the catch that you’d never be able to realize it when a wish had been granted. That would be so anticlimactic! Here’s to the dreams that come true quietly.

#49 The Book of Unknown Americans

18 February 2020 // San Diego, California

“You just have to anticipate not being able to do as much as you used to.” –Ancient proverb from parents to newer parents.

This was, in fact, something I heard about a lot before having Rhys. And I was truly curious how hard that would strike. My off-switch doesn’t always work so well.

It is, in fact, no longer possible for me to work the way I used to. I’ve had to get stronger at telling people when there’s no longer room on my plate for things. I used to hate leaving tasks halfway done, but I’ve had to get used to doing that to take care of baby things.

But, I would hardly call this getting less done.

Some days we’ll read about more animals than leading zoologists. I’ll help this guy with more wardrobe changes than a fashion blogger. Sometimes those outfits ARE animals. We’ll read nine books a day. And I get to practice the art of hypnotism with mixed results.

I’ve had the best long weekend with our little man, and it keeps going!

#50 Cured Egg Yolk

19 February 2020 // San Diego, California

What do you do when you strike a creative rut?

Tell me if this sounds relatable. One day you’re firing on all cylinders. Your creative juices are flowing. It seems like you can’t put your ideas to paper quickly enough. You’d stay up all night working if you could.

But you can’t.

Then the next day comes. And suddenly, you’re stuck. Where does this story go next? What happened to all those ideas from yesterday? Why does this blank page just want to stay blank?

You’re not crazy for feeling like this. A few years ago, I got really curious about the idea of biorhythms. It’s a theory that different mental, emotional, and physical areas of your life ebb and flow. Some days your creative muscles are ready and able. But those other days…

It would be great if we could just wait around for our biorhythms or whatever to cooperate, but what happens when you need to constantly create things?

Let me share a few of my best tricks on how I stay inspired to create.

First, whenever an idea strikes, I capture it.

If I hear about an idea, from a friend, or a podcast, or a book that I can’t stop thinking about, I make sure to write it down somewhere. Oftentimes, the moment when these ideas strike are quite removed from the moment when you have a chance to sit down and start writing or creating something. When I do get to sit down, I want to be able to simply pull up the note of all the different things that have caught my attention.

I get a lot of ideas when scrolling through social media. So I take screenshots of links. I bookmark Tweets. On Instagram, I have quite a library of saved posts, from places I want to eat in town, to good quotes, and captions from others that made me think.

It’s like how before you cook a meal, you want to have all the ingredients ready, first.

A lot of people try to come up with ideas at the same time they try to write. And it’s so much harder that way. That’s why writers block is such a common thing. Ideas strike at the most random times. If you capture them well, then when it’s time for you to do the work, you just need to pop open your notebook and see what ideas are waiting for you.

It’s like opening your fridge and having a sense of what you have to work with for dinner. It’s just better than having to take the extra effort of going to the market each and every time.

Second, I write every night.

I journal every night before bed. And there aren’t really any rules as to what goes in my journal, just as long as I’m taking the time to write. Sometimes- hang on a sec-

This isn’t honest. I don’t use a notebook. I use Google Docs on my phone.

That’s better.

I’ll write about the day, but other times, I’ll just play with random ideas. About philosophy. About marketing. About anything really, whatever I need to let out of my head.

There’s no pressure to write well, or beautifully, since this won’t really make it past me. Unless I want it to. And a lot of times that ends up happening.

If I simply get out some thoughts and they never again see the light of day, then the exercise of thinking and writing alone is worth it. But quite often, I go back to these drafts. And sometimes they become the first iteration of something bigger.

Finally, I’ve traded entertainment for inspiration.

If at the end of a long day, you just need to put on Netflix to space out, there’s nothing wrong with that! Consuming series, movies, or books for pleasure is often talked down upon by creatives, as a reason why you’re not productive.

But, I’ve found that while I’m relaxing and taking in a story somebody else has created, I’m often challenged. I often feel strong emotions. I get new ideas.

I think of films like Parasite. Shows like Unbelievable. Books like Pachinko. These things entertained me. But they also inspired me. They had complex themes and raised as many questions as they answered. And they were entertaining at the same time.

It’s less about whether or not you watch, but how much you watch. And what you choose to watch.

This isn’t a perfect formula, but these are simple practices that help me keep up my creative flow. Thanks for watching, sign up for the newsletter below.

Remember, when compassion meets creativity, amazing things happen.

#51 UCSD Career Night

20 February 2020 // San Diego, California

What did you really need to hear your rookie year?

For the past three years a group of students at UCSD have invited me to talk about having a creative career, a nonprofit career, an international career, a career in sustainability, all that good stuff.

All the questions I got from students got the wheels turning. Here are some ideas that jumped out of our conversations.

Branding is all about making it clear how you help people become who they want to be. Want a good personal brand? Show how you can help.

The Growth Mindset is where it’s at! It’s one of the most valuable skills, because it gives birth to a bunch of other skills.

If it feels like you’re doing your work in front of a minuscule crowd, you’re in the sweet spot for taking chances and trying new things. If you’re doing your work in front of a massive crowd, then you must be doing something right!

One of the big things that separates a successful international nonprofit from the rest is whether or not the locals feel like they own the process of change.

School is one way to learn, far from the only way. 90% of the practical knowledge I put to use every day comes from podcasts, books, even Twitter accounts I follow. Keep investing in yourself.

The notion of not being able to earn a decent living doing nonprofit work is exaggerated. Plenty of decent, stable opportunities exist.

A job might not offer the highest pay, but do factor in other benefits, flexibility, growth opportunities, your ability to be yourself, a sense of purpose, and the team culture. Some of these are things money can’t buy.

Don’t worry too much about landing somewhere and getting stuck. Always keep looking for ways to do the work you want to do, even if you need to package it with other stuff that pays the bills. You keep evolving throughout the process.

#52 Boy Boy in a Basket

21 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Do you get more excited to see new places? Or for return trips?

Admittedly, I’m probably a bit biased towards the new sights. And that’s in spite of the fact that I’ve absolutely loved so many places I’ve been. But I guess my train of thought is that there are so many places in the world I want to see in my lifetime, I’ve got to be at least a little deliberate in getting out there to get to most of them.

That said, the appeal of going back to old favorites keeps growing over time, and there are definitely some places I’ve been where I could easily see myself having even more fun the second time around. Namely:

New Orleans – The food alone is reason to return. It felt like we barely scratched the surface on our last visit and that there’s plenty more to be seen and done. I especially want to look into an eco-friendly swamp visit.

Vancouver – Two years ago, we went for our anniversary and did a lot of fun stuff. I bet we could return, do none of the same things, and have an equally good time. That’s how much it felt like the city was overflowing with stuff that interested us.

Cape Town – A colorful city with a bit of an edge sandwiched between a mountain and two oceans. With penguins. It’s almost as if the city was designed for my tastes. If only it weren’t really, really far to get to.

Taipei – This was the last little solo-backpacking trip I took before getting married and I remember being surprised at how much I underestimated it. Taiwan has a lot of fun and quirky things, whilst being really accessible and easy to bop around.

Munich – Bavaria was my favorite part of Germany. And we only passed through on a Sunday when most things were closed. I could totally see myself enjoying more time in town.

Some exciting news: A New Orleans return trip is happening!

Where would you go back to?

#53 Skip Hop

22 February 2020 // San Diego, California

I love it when you start seeing the same message pop up in different places, from people and sources that definitely don’t know each other…

...and it starts to feel like that message is all meant for you.

This week, Scotty Russell posted an illustration of the phrase TAKE A DAMN BREAK, DON’T DIG YOURSELF AN EARLY GRAVE and it struck. My friend Gary also posted something similar about not doing work from a place of scarcity. And a couple of books and podcasts that came my way also had the same thought.

And it became really clear to me, that a break was exactly what I needed.

It’s been quite a month. Not hard, exactly, because we’ve had much harder times not long ago. But Deanna is studying for an exam that takes as much free time as she can luck out in having. That leaves me to take care of Rhys as much as possible. And there hasn’t been as much time for the fun and free stuff I normally enjoy.

And I realized, I’ve spent most of this month entering each day in a turbo-charged mentality, trying to simply get everything done. And I realized, there were a lot of unhealthy reasons why I kept doing this. Partly because it felt like I needed to work to prove things, partly because I kept believing in the false promise of “catching up” to a point where things slow down. That doesn’t really exist unless you make it.

So, I took a break. I dedicated my day to play with Rhys and I’m better off for it. The caption may have been right, I might’ve gotten a little more life back.

Sometimes, you just gotta listen to those messages that won’t leave you alone.

#54 Bubs

23 February 2020 // San Diego, California

What are things I love?

Baymax

Baobabs

Half Marathons

Alpacas

Mezcal

Thomas Merton

Pho

World Cups

Kim’s Convenience

Growlithe

Yosemite

Oat Milk

Powell’s Books

Trevor Noah 

Codenames

Cape Town

Actualized Enneagram 8s 

Walter Mitty

Public Speaking

What are things you love?

#55 I’m Still Here

24 February 2020 // San Diego, California

If you look at any given threatened forest or biodiversity hotspot... Australia... the Amazon... know what you’ll likely find?

An indigenous community on the frontlines of protecting it.

A couple years ago Jah Cho and some of his neighbors explained to me how their tribes were stateless, but that they relied on the forests of Northern Thailand for their survival. 🌲🌲🌲

In the past, local agencies would give them a really hard time, but they were persistent in showing good land management techniques as a community.

I then learned some other things:

🌐 Indigenous communities are about 5% of the Earth’s population

🌐 This part of the population manages about 20% of its land

🌐 That land contains 80% of its biodiversity

In spite of this, many governments and organizations overlook the role that indigenous communities have in protecting sensitive spaces.

I just published an essay on this for Plant With Purpose - and it includes some suggestions on what we could do. It’s one I’m especially fired up about, so I linked it in my bio.

How often do you hear about indigenous communities in the environmental discussions you come across?

#56 Tuesday Night Pho

25 February 2020 // San Diego, California

What gets you out of bed in the morning? What do you love doing? What makes you feel alive?

What keeps you up at night? What’s something in the world that makes you see red? That you just want to put an end to?

These questions seem simple. Some people just know the answers deeply and instantly. Others need to try out different things and do some exploring. But they’re always worth responding to.

I think these show you the things you can’t NOT do. You know? When I first learned about global justice issues, I really felt like I couldn’t just sit on that knowledge. When I’ve gotten the chance to speak to crowds to share that same passion, I always feel like, yeah, this is what I’m MEANTTOBEDOING with my life.

#57 We Have a Crawl Kid!

26 February 2020 // San Diego, California

~**gRAphIC DESiGn | iS | mY PASsioN**!~

Okay, so not entirely. If that was all I did, I’d miss the speaking, the storytelling, the scripting of other things. But I have fun with design. Lemme throw on a podcast and open up Photoshop or Illustrator, and I imagine that’s what serious gamers feel like. I’m happy it gets to be a component of what I do.

Recently I got to work on Plant With Purpose’s annual report. Not a totally original design, but I had to learn how to mimic the styles of past editions and give some pages a facelift. It was fun getting to figure out how to do that.

Creative design is about more than aesthetics. It’s about transmitting feelings, and in my work, it's the feeling of being invited. The first time I realized the world of nonprofit organizations could be for ME and not just older, wealthier, people in suits came when I saw organizations with branding and exciting visuals and gear that looked just like my vibe!

One of the unspoken questions people ask when they encounter new ideas, movements, or organizations is “is this for me???” The right design says HECK YES COME ON IN.

#58 Little Münster

27 February 2020 // San Diego, California

A couple of weeks ago, I got to participate in a career-related Q&A with International Studies students at UCSD.

This was the third year in a row I’ve gotten to do this event, and I’ve enjoyed it every time. Largely because these students are in the exact spot where I was not all that long ago.

So many of the questions I got were basically the same question packaged in different ways.

Should I take internships? Is it a good idea for me to work in Washington DC anyways? Do I need to spend time outside of the country to get experience?

Basically, people want to make sure they’re making the right next move. What do you say YES to?

I think these students are all right to recognize how valuable the next few years are. Actually, we all would be better served if we realized how valuable the time right in front of us is. Unfortunately as we get older, or just more caught up in the tasks of surviving and paying bills, we forget the value of time right in front of us. We miss the fact that each moment is an opportunity to invest.

The magic of spending time with my four month old keeps getting better and better. A week ago, I set Rhys down on a quilt on the ground and watched him roll over. And then he started kicking his legs. He was trying so hard to do something that I knew I had to turn my camera on and keep watching. And before I knew it, he crawled for the first time.

It was an instantaneous reminder that time was limited and precious. Having a kid has made me even more selective about how I choose to use my time.

Time is precious for all of us. Becoming a dad just increased my awareness of it. If I’m going to commit to something, it’s gotta be a wholehearted YES!

Every choice we make is an opportunity to invest… in the people we want to be and in the change we want to see.

So, why do people hold back from making the big investment?

Fear. It makes us instead spend our time on the things that get in the way of what matters.

Complacency. Settling for less than something we were made for.

Impatience. The best investors are the future-minded

Being a Creative Changemaker takes patience. You need the patience to keep showing in front of empty screens, blank pages, and small crowds. You need the patience to keep making incremental progress, while having a bigger vision. You need the patience to remember that lasting change doesn’t happen overnight.

But this patience can’t be an idle patience. It ‘s more like an investment. Take a lesson from those UCSD students and be intentional with the choices in front of you.

Damian Lillard said in an interview that if you want to look good in front of thousands, you need to work harder than thousands in front of nobody.

The hours you have today are tokens you get to invest in the person you want to become and the world you want to live in.

#59 Tree Lady Park

28 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Ash Wednesday this week is reminding me of Ash Wednesday last year.

That was the day we discovered we were pregnant. I remember the second pink line showing up in the morning. I remember nothing from work for the next eight hours. I remember the drive to Kaiser in the rain at night to get hormone levels checked and Googling what different amounts of HCG might possibly mean. I remember deciding to myself that I was going to be cautiously optimistic about it.

It’s been a crazy year since then.

Rhys started crawling on Ash Wednesday this year and that just seems appropriate. I know that Ash Wednesday is a day for memento mori and recognizing that our time on earth is finite. But the past couple years, I’ve also been reminded by it that our time on Earth is remarkably beautiful.

We are extremely fortunate to be parents. We are blessed to be Rhys’ parents. The more I look back on it now, the more I see how we both overcame really unlikely odds and extremely challenging circumstances to get to the joy we have today of our guy crawling around. It’s amazing.

#60 Four Months of Rhys

29 February 2020 // San Diego, California

Remember that time we had that baby Rhys join our lives? That was FOUR MONTHS AGO.

He keeps leveling up.

1️⃣🆙

The past month was a quieter one for us, Rhys took advantage of the time to do some serious growin’. 

🍄⭐️🐢

He started sprouting little teeth. Didn’t think it could happen this early, but he kept messing with his tongue and there were some definite white teeth bits poking through.

Also we have a crawl kid now! [cue the underground theme 🎶] He’s been rolling around more often but can now officially bust out an army crawl.

I just love being this guy’s dad.