Birthday Surprise Crew

Throwing a surprise party for Deanna isn’t always an easy thing. On Saturday I hid a bunch of our friends at the Windmill Food Hall for a surprise party. First she wanted to take a side trip an hour outside of town, then she wanted us to use a coupon for Buca di Beppo we’d been holding on to.

Finally I had to fake a craving for Belgian fries that nothing else could of satiate as a reason to insist on the food hall. Thankfully it worked.

Such a fun weekend of eating and exploring with Daniel, Joy, Caytlin, and Justin. Thanks for pulling this off, everybody!

Twenty Ten

Isn’t it kind of a trip how this decade is just about over?

It definitely is for me. Especially when I think about how it started and all the places it took me. I’m feeling a bit reflective these days, okay?

Ten years ago, I felt like I wasn’t really living. Not much of a sense of direction. I felt lonely and isolated. And it really hit me one weekend when an old friend came to visit and I realized I didn’t really like the life I had to show. And I felt like I was getting too old to keep waiting for life to start.

At the start of 2010, I decided to start taking a photo every day as a challenge to myself to live more intentionally. That was an outward decision rooted in a few deeper decisions.

I decided to receive each day as a gift and to make the most of it, saying yes, whatever it looked like that day.

I decided to take my faith seriously, by asking challenging questions and pursuing them with honesty.

I decided to see life as a story, built around a greater purpose, and full of layers and surprising connections.

The photo project was just a creative way to keep myself accountable to those decisions. And by the end of the year, it felt like the most richly lived year I could’ve asked for.

I met people who I formed real deep bonds with. So many of my closest friends now are ones I made that year. I spent months couch surfing, not just for the savings but for the chance to get to know different people. I took a trip to Turkey that unearthed my fascination with this world. I spent the summer in Italy, and later backpacked around Europe. I gained so much confidence I had been missing.

I often think of 2010 as my year of beginning. I started saying YES to life and ten years later I’m still amazed at what happened as a result.

Nursery in Progress

A little preview at our nursery-in-progress!

With the due date creeping closer, much of my creative energy has gone towards designing this nursery: putting together the crib, painting his wall mural, assembling a changing table, etc.

Actually, most of any kind of energy I have these days goes towards getting ready for the kid, but I guess that’s our new normal.

Deanna's 30!

It’s Deanna’s birthday!!

30. 💥💥💥

And to say this has been a big year would be the understatement of a lifetime.

Speaking of understatements, proud doesn’t even begin to describe how I’ve been feeling about Deanna all year. And beyond. I can’t imagine being with somebody more giving, more resilient, and more hope-giving. Despite every obstacle

So many people are alive because she does what she does. So many people’s lives are better because she is who she is. 🌎

I keep thinking how lucky our kid is gonna be to have his mom. And I can say that cause I’m the guy whose lucky enough to be married to her.

I get excited when this boy shows he’s got a mind of his own in utero. I want to take it as a sign he’s got her strong will and fighter spirit, and if he uses that the way she does, he’s gonna be on his way to great things.

Happy birthday Dee!

On Having a Boy

How’s it gonna be being a boy dad?

Most people now say they don’t care as long as the kid is healthy- and nobody’s gonna argue with that! But sometimes I like it when I hear people state a preference just cause of the honesty of the whole thing.

In my case, we didn’t have an outright preference, but there were specific things we’d look forward to either. For me, the personal experience of having been a boy at 4, 14, 20, etc. might make it a little easier to relate to the chaos of life at each of those ages. And of course, I can easily join in and geek out about stereotypical stuff like superheroes, bobcats, or baseball.

And then there’s my nephews! They’ve given me a pretty good taste of what to look forward to and they’d make almost anyone want a boy.

Most importantly, though, we need more boys who understand strength as gentleness, who value emotional intelligence, and who give to others with less opportunity.

Can’t wait, boy boy. See you soon!

Vampire Weekend

Wisdom’s a gift but you’d trade it for youth.

Walcott takes me back to driving around my senior year. Horchata takes me back to unpacking my bags my first day in Italy when moving into the yellow painted apartment. Step will take me back to spending the Fourth of July in London and my friend’s British dad grilling hot dogs to celebrate the “special relationship.” Harmony Hall takes me back to earlier this year, moving out of our old apartment shortly before discovering we were pregnant.

Vampire Weekend, thanks for being the soundtrack to most of my twenties and our last show before becoming parents.

I wondered if we would even get to use our tickets for this show or if our baby would try and make his way into the world to the tune of Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa. Thankfully we made it through.

Also, based on his in utero movements this kid loves concerts. That should be fun in a few years.

October Countdown

This is gonna be quite a month.

It’s wild thinking that life the way I’ve gotten used to it will become almost unrecognizable by the end of this month.

I’ve been excited to see our baby room come together, the crib built, the wall painted, and all the sweet gifts sorted out by size.

I’m also getting ready to leave Plant With Purpose for just a season- but it so happens to be the busiest season in the nonprofit world. By the end of this week, I hope to have everything lined up to run on autopilot for a little while.

And I’m sleeping in whenever possible.

I should note that I’m usually a pretty big fan of change. And this one in particular is one I’m loving.

Bravery at Woolworth's

“Don’t worry man, I’ll remember your order.

We’re the only two Asians anywhere near this place,” the bartender smiled.

A little while back I got to visit Woolworth’s in Nashville.

I got to sit at the counter where Rep. John Lewis was arrested for the first of over fifty times over the course of his Civil Rights career.

I got to have shrimp and grits at the site where older activists would tell younger students to brace themselves for all the hate that was about to come their way. They would remind them that nonviolence meant bearing whatever was to come.

This wasn’t the exact same restaurant. The historical site was acquired by a restaurateur in early 2018 and restored after its 1960s appearance. That was enough to make eating there quite a vivid experience.

Just before, I visited the Center for Civil and Human Rights in Atlanta, that had a simulation of the original Woolworth’s. You could sit on a replica barstool and strap on headphones. If you shut your eyes, you could feel the kicks to the back of the seat, hear the slurs thrown your way.

Sometimes we make a very big deal about having the right opinions. Not nearly as much emphasis is placed on doing the right thing when it comes to it. I have so much admiration for people who make real sacrifices for the things they believe in.

Be Kind to Everyone Along the Way

It always comes back.

A little while ago, I got to work indirectly with somebody who led a big organization built on the ideas of learning, justice, and serving others. His brand was a really successful one, and it seemed like they were making a really big impact globally and locally.

Except for one thing- he was a pretty big jerk to the people who worked for him. Without notice, he would suddenly comandeer their projects and take over. People were afraid of him. Our collaboration got called off.

Unless things change, I am quite sure his success can only last for so long before things catch up.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen something like this. Thankfully, I’ve also seen the opposite, where people rave about others who are the real deal.

I’m a big believer that the way we’ll ultimately be remembered won’t be by our titles, big accomplishments, and proudest productions. I think the way we show up for each other during the ordinary moments in between will end up saying the most.

The way you do the small things matter. They end up being not-so-small in the end.

October 2019

#274 Puppy Influencer

01 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Beignet is now the kind of dog brands will send free stuff to sample in the mail.

#275 Book of Orders

02 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Ya boy is becoming a deacon.

#276 Vampire Weekend

03 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Wisdom’s a gift but you’d trade it for youth.

Walcott takes me back to driving around my senior year. Horchata takes me back to unpacking my bags my first day in Italy when moving into the yellow painted apartment. Step will take me back to spending the Fourth of July in London and my friend’s British dad grilling hot dogs to celebrate the “special relationship.” Harmony Hall takes me back to earlier this year, moving out of our old apartment shortly before discovering we were pregnant.

Vampire Weekend, thanks for being the soundtrack to most of my twenties and our last show before becoming parents.

I wondered if we would even get to use our tickets for this show or if our baby would try and make his way into the world to the tune of Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa. Thankfully we made it through.

Also, based on his in utero movements this kid loves concerts. That should be fun in a few years.

#277 UTC Errands

04 October 2019 // La Jolla, California

Quick repairs in the middle of a Friday.

#278 Eucalyptus Grove

05 October 2019 // Carlsbad, California

Sweet discovery of some very mild hiking trails.

#279 Neighborhood Alleyways

06 October 2019 // San Diego, California

One last stretch of being able to easily go on double dates, movie outings, and the like before kids.

#280 Nursery Mountains

07 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Pretty happy with how this mural paint job in our nursery turned out.

#281 Raid the Office

08 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Our office neighbors were going out of business which gave me a chance to swoop in on some goodies. Including:

• A non-numerical weighing scale
• A Nerf gun
• A Cat Palm tree
• A velvet VIP rope
• A sack of baseballs & softballs

#282 Deanna’s 30th

09 October 2019 // San Diego, California

It’s Deanna’s birthday!!

30. 💥💥💥

And to say this has been a big year would be the understatement of a lifetime.

Speaking of understatements, proud doesn’t even begin to describe how I’ve been feeling about Deanna all year. And beyond. I can’t imagine being with somebody more giving, more resilient, and more hope-giving. Despite every obstacle.

So many people are alive because she does what she does. So many people’s lives are better because she is who she is. 🌎

I keep thinking how lucky our kid is gonna be to have his mom. And I can say that cause I’m the guy whose lucky enough to be married to her.

I get excited when this boy shows he’s got a mind of his own in utero. I want to take it as a sign he’s got her strong will and fighter spirit, and if he uses that the way she does, he’s gonna be on his way to great things.

Happy birthday Dee!

#283 The Nursery

10 October 2019 // San Diego, California

A little preview at our nursery-in-progress!

With the due date creeping closer, much of my creative energy has gone towards designing this nursery: putting together the crib, painting his wall mural, assembling a changing table, etc.

Actually, most of any kind of energy I have these days goes towards getting ready for the kid, but I guess that’s our new normal.

#284 Corey & Curren

11 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Office family potluck at the Bay.

#285 30th Birthday Surprise

12 October 2019 // Carlsbad, California

Throwing a surprise party for Deanna isn’t always an easy thing. On Saturday I had to deflect so many of her ideas that would’ve taken us away from the Windmill where I had her friends hide. But, we got her to the right spot and the right time and it was a success.

Such a fun weekend of eating and exploring with Daniel, Joy, Caytlin, and Daniel. Thanks for pulling this off, everybody!

#286 Joy and Daniel in Balboa

13 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Daniel is about to strike it Insta-famous. Good for him!

#287 Andouille Jambalaya

14 October 2019 // San Diego, California

A bit of andouille makes a bunch of things better.

#288 Lestat’s on Park

15 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Great week featuring a few last meet-ups before the baby gets here.

#289 Corner Complex

16 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Looking back at what used to be my nightly route home.

#290 Philz Alley

17 October 2019 // La Jolla, California

I’ve been getting in a bunch of hangouts with other recent dads and I’m sure that’s no coincidence.

#291 Basic Taco Bell

18 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Deanna’s pregnancy cravings are sometimes the easiest thing to give into.

#292 Lobster Dog

19 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Somebody’s Halloween costume just doesn’t quite fit.

#293 Rohr Park Walk

20 October 2019 // Bonita, California

Sweet discovery of a new walking spot with Beignet.

#294 Empty Office

21 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Last few days of work before paternity leave begins.

#295 Last Week Before Fatherhood

22 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Hey kiddddddd.

We’ll be hanging out this time next week, most likely. We can’t wait to welcome you into our fun-loving, stubbornly-strong-willed family. I get the sense you’ll fit right in to that.

I’m trying to soak up every spare moment of this sweet season. Everything around me feels like caught up in an atmosphere of warmth and sweetness, which is funny because most of the pregnancy has been like a wild mine cart ride.

But these days, peace almost feels tangible. What a moment we’re in.

#296 Dear America

23 October 2019 // San Diego, California

What makes someone a citizen?

Papers? Loyalty? Community?

“I refuse to live a life of fear defined by a government that doesn't even know why it fears what it fears. Because I am not a citizen by law or by birth, I've had to create and hold on to a different kind of citizenship.... Citizenship is showing up. Citizenship is using your voice while making sure you hear other people around you. Citizenship is how you live your life.”

–Jose Antonio Vargas

I put off reading this book for way too long. This was only, believe it or not, the second book ever that I’ve read by a Filipino American author. But I’m glad I got to it. Jose’s voice is such an important one.

This was a book about separation and belonging. Whenever our understanding of migration and citizenship loses the human element, we move towards separation. Not just separating people with international borders, but separating ourselves from each other and our shared humanity.

When I think of citizenship or migration issues, I’m tempted to think in terms of policy or technicalities. I like to know the statistics behind migration, the main causes, the demographic makeup, and all that. That knowledge is helpful, but this book helped me see things with a little more clarity and a little more empathy.

#297 Outside at Yerba

24 October 2019 // San Diego, California

A final outing with John while he’s in town.

#298 Ordered a Mountain

25 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Sneaking in last minute date nights before baby shows up. We accidentally ordered this mountain.

#299 Last Hike as Three

26 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Went to the Tijuana River Estuary for one more hike as a crew of three. Whats with the faces, Beignet?

#300 Last WEEKEND BEFORE KIDS

27 October 2019 // San Diego, California

This time for real- our last weekend outing before kids. Went out for a little nature stroll at the San Diego Presidio trail.

#301 MONDAY NIGHT AT ALEXANDER’S

28 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Love this Monday night spot. Where else can you get pizza and beer at somewhere this fancy for so cheap??

#302 LAST DAY BEFORE PATERNITY LEAVE

29 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Leaving the office for one more time. Be back here after a while, when things are pretty different.

#303 TWO HAPPY GRANDMAS

30 October 2019 // San Diego, California

Went for one more dinner before delivery at a place where this all began… Pop Pie Co.

#304 RHYS MIGUEL

31 October 2019 // San Diego, California

What a blessing. What an adventure. What a journey. And you know what? It’s simply just begun!⠀⠀

Rhys Miguel Lazaro arrived at 8:09 in the morning of October 31st at 7lbs 4oz, and 19 inches long.⠀

I am so in love with this guy! I can’t believe I get to be his dad.

Deanna is recovering and is doing well. Rhys is a strong and healthy baby. It seems like he has his mom’s strength and spirit. I couldn’t be prouder of the two of them.

One Year From Now

Here’s to the things we hear in the trenches.

🌄

We’re coming up on the one year anniversary of one of the hardest times in my life.

In October/November of last year, right around November, things felt completely stuck. We were beginning to think we might not be able to have kids. Deanna started getting pretty sick. I had a planned trip fall apart. We ran into a chain reaction of one complicated thing after another.

🌫

Gabby Bernstein once said, “We can accept that even the tough moments are divine lessons that guide us back to love.”

That sounded great, but things felt too foggy for divine lessons. I felt too frustrated to pray. Venting was more of an accurate picture. I heard one thing in reply, something too good and specific that I wanted to dismiss it as my mind playing tricks.

“In one year, you will see how good I am.”

Like I said, weird. Overly specific. Too good to be true. But also just enough to make me curious about the future.

The reason I get so excited about using any creative tool to excavate hope in hard places is because I’ve had that to me a number of times.

Baby is due 11/7 but most likely, we’ll meet in a month.

I Love Mango

I share this hot content today for one reason and one reason only:

To express my appreciation and gratitude for mangoes.

🎒

San Diego mango lovers, you’re gonna want to save this post.

Coffee and Tea Collective has been doing a trio of really good mango drinks all summer. And I was happy that when I went in last week that summer menu was still going.

Deanna and I also recently discovered the blessing that is MNGO cafe on Convoy and I want to try the entire menu.

Also, I’ve heard very good things about Meet Fresh and their patbingsu so that’s next on the agenda.

🎒

PS - there is no mango emoji and I can’t believe I keep having to use a red backpack pretending that it’s a backpack full of mangoes. People just don’t get it so easily.

PSS - when there is a mango emoji someday, I really hope it features a criss-cross sliced, inside out mango, than just the whole fruit. So much more visually exciting!

Keep Trying New Stuff

My hope: to keep trying new things up until my time is up.

🌱

These are taro plants growing on a farm in Colombia. If you’ve ever seen taro plants in the wild, these are abnormally gigantic. I love them because they make me feel like I’m in A Bug’s Life. 🐛 But on a totally different note, here’s a thought I keep coming back to lately.

🌱

Have you ever thought about this- so much creative talent goes untapped! How many of the world’s best directors will never make actually a movie because they never realized they had it in them? 💠 The best musicians in the world might not actually be the world’s best musicians. They’re just the best out of the ones who took the time to try and develop their skill.
⠀⠀
🔱

Most people have untapped creative potential they don't realize is there. Most people will never end up discovering it.

The only way to find out what you've got is to explore. That’s not just going new places, but finding out things about yourself by trying stuff!

I don’t want my practice of exploration to end in adulthood. I don’t want to kid myself that it gets too late. I want to say yes to projects, collaborations, and invitations that take me way outside my comfort zone.

I’m sure that not everything will be amazing, but at least I won’t have to worry about taking any creative genius to the grave in secret.

Global Climate Strike

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT 🌐

Curiosity and solidarity led me out of the office and to a high school gathering for the #globalclimatestrikelast week. I was pretty impressed with these students.

When I was in high school, which wasn’t like, thaaaaat long ago, there might’ve been about six students with the energy and awareness to speak about climate and justice and solutions as well as these kids. And I definitely wasn’t one of them.

🔆

It wasn’t until I started traveling more that it became more obvious to me that climate issues affect the most vulnerable people first. These students knew that and made it a main point of their speeches.

It wasn’t until after graduate school that I realized how high of a priority environmental issues needed to be in the world. These kids know that too.

🚸

I totally reject broad level stereotypes about entitlement or not knowing how to problem solve that get thrown around. These students don’t just solve the problems in immediate sight, they think more globally too.

If we all keep up the energy to change things, stay in it for the long haul, and fight away cynicism, there’s lots to look forward to.

Don't Rush Through the Tension

As it goes in FILM, so it goes in LIFE! (Swipe to meet my friend Hasely)

I’m so excited about this idea that I figured a silly cartoon would be the best way to demonstrate.

Hasely is a film curator. His passion for cinema developed by curating the 3 for $5 DVD section of his family drug store. Legendary titles like “100 Western Classics,” “Paul Blart 7,” and “Rude Gals” (not to be mistaken for the more mainstream Mean Girls) taught him everything about what makes a great story.

His discovery was the same as one I’ve been working on for years.

One of my biggest lessons in trying to tell better stories has been learning to sit with the tension instead of rushing through it.

Tension makes a good story.

And this kind of applies to life as well! The parts that throw us out of our comfort zones often lead to the best stories.

In some stories, it’s tempting to rush your characters back to a place of safety and happiness. And in life, we all crave that. But when we’re in that space, the story has nowhere else to go.

Listen to Hasely. Tension is where the heart of a story is found.

Haiti & Heart

There is always hope.

About a year ago, I went to Haiti to gather some Plant With Purpose stories.

The visit came during a pretty challenging time in my life. We were struggling to have a baby. I was feeling lonely. Everything in life felt unnecessarily difficult and I wondered if my best days were in the past.

I was in a pretty remote part of Haiti, so when I woke up before everyone else was ready, there wasn’t much to do. So, I went for short walks in the woods. These quickly turned prayerful and meditative.

Check it out. See those leaves?

I was standing in Haiti’s last remaining native forest. Pines and aloe plants were rich and green. It was in a remote, elevated pocket of the country, a part of the world that people often forget about.

I did that. I make those plants burst with life. I’ll take care of you too.

Later that day, I met lots of locals who all told me how their lives had improved now, but before they were pretty miserable. They all recounted how hopeless things seemed for them about ten years ago.

One guy worked 12 hours a day to earn 34 cents. One guy lost his brother in a car crash and developed a drinking problem. Almost all of them suffered and lost somebody during the big earthquake.

Flash forward to the present and things couldn’t be more different. They welcomed me on to their homes and farms with joy and pride.

I couldn’t help but think of how during their hardest moments, our team in Haiti was already working on plans to help their community. And they wouldn’t know for another couple years! And during my own hardest moments, things were still happening behind the scenes to keep hope alive.

I now know about a dozen Haitians who are so thankful they didn’t give up. And I feel that way about myself. Hope is what it looks like to keep showing up, believing that there is always more to the story than what we can see.

You Will Be Thankful

You will be THANKFUL.

In any given year, I’ll listen to thousands of podcast episodes, but there’s only been one ever to succeed at making me tear up. It’s an episode of Radiolab from about five years ago called 23 Weeks, about this little girl named Juniper who was born about four months ahead of schedule. The show did such a good job showing everything her parents did despite barely being able to touch her, and the uncertainty of it all.

🎲

That show reminded me that having kids is always a dice roll. You never know when you’ll end up running into a genetic issue you’ve never heard of before, a kid who has trouble feeding, maternal complications, or all kinds of unknowns.

For Deanna and I, we had good reasons to think we wouldn’t have an easy and straightforward road towards becoming parents. We weren’t certain if we even could, biologically. But we wanted to.

People like to pray for answers to their questions, but personally, I rarely get answers. Instead I get doses of truth that I actually needed to hear.

🌄

So as we started trying, I asked for things to go well and be easy.

Instead, I heard— You will be thankful.

🌅

For real, our two year journey from trying to becoming parents hasn’t been easy. There have been all sorts of uncertainties and surprises and scares and things to figure out as we go.

During the hardest parts, I questioned if I heard that thankful thing correctly. I would repeat it over a lot. But what if I just made it up to myself.

But what I heard was absolutely right. I do feel thankful. And I know that’ll be even more true in about a month.

🎇

When I think about the end of that Radiolab episode, and now my own past two years, they reminded me of what the best stories feel like. Rewarding. Grueling as they unfold, but when they end, they make you so glad to be alive.

You will be thankful.

Bakersfield Baby Shower

32 weeks. 🌈 The size of a Care Bear.

It’s crazy to think about how close we are to having a kid out in the world. So many things are about to change. The version of life I’ve gotten used to just has a few more weeks left.

I’ve still got a nursery to finish, thank you cards to write, etc. And I’m looking forward to savoring each of these projects.

We had our baby shower in Bakersfield yesterday. Thanks so much to everybody who was able to come! It means a lot to me that baby is gonna grow up with a crew of great friends, family, family friends, aunts and uncles in his corner.

Now who wants to place bets on if Baby comes before, after, or during:

🔆 The Vampire Weekend show we have tickets for -10/3
🔆 Deanna’s 30th Birthday - 10/9
🔆 Game One of the World Series - 10/22
🔆 Halloween - 10/31
🔆 The launch of Disney Plus - 11/12

❓❓❓

Grassroots Finale

We did it! Can you believe it?

One whole season of the Grassroots Podcast is a wrap! I’m amazed and beyond thankful that this is part of what I get to do for a living.

I really believe that the people who are most affected by things like climate are the people we hear from the least. I hope good storytelling changes that, and every time you’ve streamed or shared our show, that’s helped!

Our season finale is up now! We ask what even is the planet’s case for hope. If you couldn’t tell, I definitely believe there is hope, but you may wonder how some of us do that in spite of so many scary projections and sad news stories.

It’s been such a joy getting to work with so many people on this. From my Plant With Purpose family to our production team Chad Michael Snavely & Nick Laparra) to all the great guests that have offered their time. (Really, I can’t believe I’ve gotten to have such solid conversations with people like Shane Claiborne, Matthew Sleeth, and Phileena Heuertz.

If you’re ready to stream the finale, or any of our other six episodes, they’re up in the link in my profile!

Much of what you hear about the environment these days is not encouraging. One million species face possible extinction. We have until 2030 to avoid unprecedented catastrophe. The poorest of the poor are the ones who will suffer the most. So, is there a case for hope? It's a question worth asking.

Bre's Album

I love being able to cheer on friends who get creative and make things full of heart.

Last week, we got to go be cheerleaders for Bre Reed to celebrate her album launch at a church in Santa Barbara. Even the baby who hasn’t been born yet was loving the show. (It makes me so excited how much this kid seems to love concerts and live music!)

What more can I say other than that her stuff is GOOD and you should probably go check it out on Spotify!